jigokulogs | [semi-closed] the master of my own disguise

Jin Guangyao's good with words. He always has been and he's had a knack for saying exactly what Nie Huaisang needs to hear for as long as he's known him. Considering so few other people ever seem to know how to handle him, it never fails to set him apart or impress him. it'd take a lifetime of practice and study for Nie Huaisang to develop that level of grace in social situations. it's not a competition though, he reminds himself. Their days of competition are over now.

"It would be good if we could. No one really knows us here and we could both be anyone we wanted to be if we put our minds to it. I want us to have a place to call our own, even if we're running it for Tenkohime."

Nie Huaisang really is trying not to think about work here but he's a practical man concerned with material reality more than emotional ones nowadays. He can't not think in terms of personal security.

"As safe and autonomous of a haven is possible in this place."

No Nie Huaisang had talents and skills in social manipulation that Jin Guangyao did not possess. It was no longer a competition they were a team. They spoke a language only the other understood and that was fine.

"I want to be no one but who Meng Yao could have been had the world not broken him. I would like that. A home I mean. A place that is ours and safe.

Even Jinlintai never felt like home as much as I wanted it to. Just spaces I inhabited." he smiled softly.

"Well, Tenkohime is better than most brothel madames I've met. And we seem to be on her good side. I want to stay that way. And as long as we move towards clan benefit I do not see it for a reason to change. We'll build something good here. I know it. We can build anything with our skills together." he leaned forward to kiss his temple. "I am so proud of you my love. I know that I keep telling you but I think you need to keep hearing it."

Nie Huaisang leans into the kiss, letting the words wash over him. The steady drip of other people's disappointment in his performance has stopped but he's still recovering from the poisonous effect it'd had on him for so long. He's struggled with anxiety his whole life. Even after his string of recent successes, that nervousness is too ingrained in him now to just disappear. Worrying is simply part of who he's always been.

"I want to. Leading a clan's hard, especially in the shadow of another who is very well known. Sometimes I wonder if she's handling it as well as it seems on the surface. I'm grateful that she trusts me and that she's pleased with my work."

He sighs, leaning against him and closes his eyes.

"I want to continue to do well. I like feeling useful here, like what I have to offer is worthwhile."

"It is, it never gets easier, but being a good subordinate helps leaders carry their burdens. Good leaders in any case. And you have been doing so well. Everyone likes knowing they are useful and needed. But do not make the mistakes I did and take too much yourself. I am here for you to pass work to as well alright? We are doing this together." His arms wrap around him and he pulls him close.

"You really are such a jewel. Something precious. I hope you know that. He kissed his hair gently. "You shine beautifully in this light." He pressed his face into his hair and took in his scent. His tails wrapped around the both of them like a warm cocoon.

"I like holding you like this, With you in my tails. I feel like I can protect you from the world this way. Are these features strange for you?"

"No, they're not. I've gotten used to them."

If they hadn't been living together all this time, Nie Huaisang might've taken longer to adjust but after seeing them every day for the past however many months it's been now, they're just part of Jin Guangyao now. He's even gotten used to Koemi's inescapable presence.

"I like being held like this, too. They're so soft and it's easier to forget there's a world outside them."

He's always been very tactile like that. And it helps to hear those sweet words. Despite some of the airs he puts on as a ranked representative of the Tamamo Clan, it's usually just a sham. A facade to shield himself from those he hasn't felt ready to trust. Nie Huaisang hasn't felt like he was precious to anyone in years, not as himself. Aside from the man he's with now who has been one of the few who's ever really seen value in him.

"It took me a while to get used to it myself. But I don't mind them. I think They are pretty." His ears wiggled a bit at the comment.

"I'm glad. I love holding you." his hands snake around to his back, protectively holding him. "If you like I can glide them across your skin. Allow you to feel their softness." the tip of one pressed against the side of his face.

"You deserve to feel good, That you are precious and loved. And if I have to kiss and caress every last bit of you with my lips or my tails, I will. I'll do it until you begin believing it. These beautiful artists' hands deserve kisses. That lovely neck of yours deserves them too. The hollow of your throat right here looks like it could use one as well." he leans forward to kiss him just at the space between his collarbones.

"Let me love you, Allow me to protect you and worship you like you deserve to be."

Nie Huaisang shivers and sighs at each of those touches, feeling the tension he's been bottling up slowly start melting away. He didn't used to be this serious or uptight all the time but it's an inevitability when those with little love for power or responsibility wind up in positions where they have to bear both.

"I know you wanted me to take you but I'm not sure I have that in me tonight," he murmurs apologetically. "I've been wound so tight lately."

Of course, he'll return the favor but he's been working so hard, right now he just wants something slower and more leisurely. At least, until Nie Huaisang's own passionate nature gets the better of him and he decides to take charge of the situation.

"It is alright my love. Whichever is more comfortable for you.

Give me a moment so I can take this plug out then. It'll keep brushing awkwardly otherwise. How about we take your clothes off and I can heat up some oils and rub some of that tension loose for you?" he pulled away gently standing up kissing his lips gently.

"Get undressed in the meantime and I'll get the oils ready and warm." he slipped away to the bathroom to take out the jeweled plug. It was getting a bit uncomfortable now, the heaviness weighing on him. When he came back out he had a tray of warm floral oils in his hand and set t down on the side table.

By the time Jin Guangyao returns, Nie Huaisang is sprawled naked on the bed, hair loose and flowing across the comforter. His eyes are closed as he pillows his head on his arms, not terribly unlike he used to when napping when he was supposed to be studying in his youth.

He's not asleep though, just resting and meditating to try and clear his mind of as many intrusive thoughts as he can. Jin Guangyao deserves his full attention and focus for this after going through all this for them.

"Goodness. You are breathtaking my love." his voice was soft as he sat down next to him. He took some breaths allowing his qi to move to heat his hands a bit, feeling its flow through his meridians. With a bit of heated oil, he began to work, dripping it down along his spine and then using his thumbs to gently work on any knots that may be present.

"Are there any areas you want me to avoid or be careful around?" he asked softly.

"No, you have free rein," he replies just as quietly.

It's a very big show of trust in the other, a significant gesture in this renewal of their relationship. Nie Huaisang is completely vulnerable in this state - by personal choice rather than forced circumstances such as when he'd been injured and in need of help.

There's certainly quite a bit of tension in his neck, shoulders, and around his upper spine but it's slowly ebbing beneath Jin Guangyao's massage. Honestly, he's needed to book services of his own for quite some time but hasn't, forgetting in his focus on work that they were available to him, too.

As he gently rubbed the knots out of his skin he pressed soft kisses against them.

"You hunch forwards too much, we may need to stretch you out a bit more. Do you want to try some of my dance stretches? They help with this type of tension." he kisses the base of his shoulders and continues to work the knots, allowing some qi to flow within the sore muscles.

One of his tails gently moved up along his side to offset the warm sensation of his hands with the soft sensation of his tail.

His fingers moved along his lower back and pressed down a bit helping him realign some spots.

"You need more of this more often my heart."

Sensual creature that he is, Nie Huaisang savors those sensations, making a soft noise of approval. He really isn't the best at taking care of himself. He's continuously preoccupied or lost in his own head, looking at every little thing, every factor, analyzing and predicting its potential, and working out ways it can be used in some strategy or another. And that isn't counting the time he spends pleasing his clients or working out the kinks in plans in solitude.

"This feels really nice, A-Yao. Thank you," he murmurs a bit blissfully, allowing himself to just rest and enjoy the moment.

Nie Huaisang knows he needs to make space for himself in his own life somehow. He used to be good at it before he became clan leader but all that's fallen to the wayside in the past ten years.

In most ways Jin Guangyao loved to serve. To know that he was useful. That he was wanted. He loved to show his love through touch and small acts of service. His fingers worked through his back. Undoing any knots underneath. He had a playful smile when he got to his butt.

"Oh goodness, Look at this lovely ripe peach I found. Such a succulent fruit warrents a nibble, don't you think?" Nie Huaisang did have a cute butt. His fingers trailed over the soft flesh. Placing soft hot kisses against it.

"Mmm, you did say that you wished to dine... If you're that hungry, go ahead," he replies, faintly teasing.

This really is just what he's needed to help him decompress. A nice, intimate cozy evening with a lover without it being work-related or needing to focus on meeting the other person's needs and desires at the expense of his own.

He took a nibble at the bottom of a cheek. His fangs were not deep enough to hurt or tear flesh but just enough to leave a nice red mark.

"Delicious. As delicious as I had imagined it to be. Such a perfect ripeness and sweet on the tongue." He went in for a second nibble. His fingers kneading at the flesh as he kissed and bit against him.

Oh.

Given his soft, harmless exterior and love of fancy things, one might assume that Nie Huaisang was just as fussy in bed. And to some extent he is with his insistence on setting the stage properly with a comfortable, romantic atmosphere and making sure everything's prepared before a sexual encounter begins. When it comes to the actual deed however, Nie Huaisang's very receptive to some rough loving. He welcomes a few bites and bruises to savor for a while after the experience is over.

"Have you been pondering the taste for very long, A-Yao? You sounded very eager in your note," he purrs.

“seeing that lovely peach being flaunted around our tiny apartment, one cannot help but hunger.” He teased, claws gliding down the backs of his thighs. His mouth moved to suckle little love bites against the sensitive flesh.

“‘I want to taste you everywhere my heart. Will you allow me?” The tip of his tongue brushed against the underside of his butt.

” Please allow me to see.”

Nie Huaisang lets out a breath, shuddering pleasantly at each of those bites and the feel of those claws trailing down his skin. Warmth begins to build in him, unfurling slowly in his belly.

"You may. Tonight, I belong to only you."

It's the most Nie Huaisang can promise at this time.

"I love it when you touch me. No one knows how to do it right except you."

“Good. I plan to devour you utterly. Spoil you until your voice is hoarse. I want to be relentless, even if you beg.” He peeked up at him his vulpine features giving off a more predatory look. “‘I love touching you.”

He lifted his hips up a bit before flipping him onto his back, having Huaisang’s legs rest in his shoulders, before placing a flurry of heated kisses along his inner thighs. He was so pale and soft here. His lips ghosted over the juncture of his hips before avoiding his sex to kiss and nip over his belly, dipping his tongue into his naval.

He purred softly the sound rumbling from deep in his chest. “‘yes I think this position is better. I like seeing you cute face.”

There are certain parts of him that have never seen sunlight, for sure. What Nie Huaisang lacks in muscles, he makes up for by being pleasantly round and soft. His clients seem to enjoy his physique well enough and it pleases him to see his lover react with equal enthusiasm.

"Mmm, that feels very good. Has anyone ever told you that you're very sexy like this? I feel like you're gonna eat me right up and enjoy every moment of it."

Since becoming a courtesan, Nie Huaisang's learned quite a bit about himself, mainly that he's developing new kinks he'd never really considered before. He reaches down to pet those vulpine ears, marveling at the soft fur and trailing fingertips where it blends into Jin Guangyao's hair.

"You were attractive before but these features suit you very well, indeed. They enhance your looks even more."

His lover was the most beautiful man indeed. His eyes moved over him drinking him in. The sharp intellect, combined with the softness of him. He loved this man so much.

Though at the compliment, he blushed deeply. His ears twitched under his touch. The subtle motion making his tails wag in happiness despite himself. He didn’t quite think about them too much these days they were as much a part of him as they were Koemi’s. "Do you really think so?”

He felt the warmth pooling in the bottom of his belly. His body was already reacting. His eyes fell on his face as he licked a trail against his chest. He stopped to suckle at a pert nipple.

His breath catches and he starts to pet those ears more fervently. They feel so soft and warm to the touch; whatever products Jin Guangyao uses are working wonderfully. One hand slides down to tangle in the other man's hair which is just as soft. He truly is the best of two worlds, both ruthless and loving and the sight of those wagging tails truly entrance him. How else might he touch him to provoke such charming reactions? What a fascinating prospect.

"I think you look magnificent, A-Yao. Beautiful and powerful. It's hard to focus on anyone but you when you're like this."

Jin Guangyao crawled up, leaving a wet mark against his nipple to catch those delicate sweet lips in a heated kiss. Hearing those words and that sweet voice just made his blood burn hot. He wanted to spend all night pleasuring this sweet man. When he broke away he whispered.

"You're the one who is beautiful, my heart." He looked at him warmly. Taking his hand in his own he kissed his fingers one at a time.

"I want to drink you up," he stated before moving back down. Kissing along the way. "Would you let me taste you?"

It's so strange how they got to this point but can anyone truly predict how a situation like this will go until it happens to them? Nie Huaisang returns the kiss with equal passion and a yearning denied for far too many years. When Jin Guangyao says he's beautiful and acts like he's the most precious treasure in the world, he desperately wants to believe it. That the world they left behind was always wrong about him and he is good enough for something, for someone.

"Please. I want you to. Touch me everywhere and anywhere. Just don't stop."

Edited 2022-07-29 02:46 (UTC)

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