( closed ) 005

[harimaya]

Who ⬤ Hizen & Various
What ⬤ Closed prompts for July and August
When ⬤ July-August
Where ⬤ Various!
Content Warnings ⬤

❀ Prompts in tags
❀ Taking it kind of easy in July for RL reasons but if anyone wants to do anything, hit me up!
❀ contact; yosakoi | discord: eski#9874 | PM

Comments

[medicative]

You deride it, but it kept him alive. Kept it from getting worse. That's what's important about it - and I understand. I didn't wish to leave his side either.

[it's important to her that he knows she means it, that what he did was enough. that trying matters.]

[harimaya]

(She speaks gently and her tone is understanding but it's hard to still not beat himself up over everything. He holds himself accountable for his actions and lack of,)

I wanted to bring him to you. Thought you'd have better luck but... guess not.

(Looks like they both couldn't get Izo to listen and he isn't so selfish he can't tell how much that must stress and bother her. She's already admitted it and he doesn't know her relationship with him exactly but he knows they're important to each other,)

Sorry. (Sorry that Izo left her too.) I know he's important to you, too.

[medicative]

[she nods, looking down for a moment, and that smile fades as she's thoughtful.]

For what it's worth, Hizen, it wasn't your fault that he went away. I talked to him when he came back, and he admitted that it wasn't anyone's fault but his own.

[she had apologized so much, that she wasn't looking, finding him. and yet, he hadn't wanted to be found. that burden hanging over Hizen - she doesn't know the nature of their relationship, but she can tell enough that she wants to dispel it.]

He'd thought everyone would be safer without him around, with how he couldn't control the frenzy. That he left you...I can only assume it's because he wanted to protect you from himself.

[harimaya]

(Fists clenched, one on the handle of his sword gripping tightly as if it will help him keep a hold of himself. Stubbornly, a twinge of an accent breaking through his usual standard and gruff speech,)

I ain't weak.

(At least, he likes to believe he isn't. There aren't many good things about him but his strength has always been one of his good points.)

I could've... (He wants to believe--) I shouldn't've...

I kicked his ass before. Could've done it again.

[medicative]

I don't doubt it.

[she won't cast aspersion on his capability.]

Listen. Even after I gave him medicine to bring him down out of that state, he still fled. If you had knocked him back to his senses, he probably still would have run. Nothing we could have done would have changed it, no matter how much it hurt us that he left.

What matters, what has to matter now, is that he came back.

[harimaya]

(He does listen.

He's stubborn and short-tempered and he tends to become difficult when he feels like he's being disrespected or pitied... but Emily isn't doing that. He can tell. Even if he isn't particularly familiar with her, he can tell that she's being understanding and kind and so he listens. Even if it isn't what he wants to hear, he listens to her and he doesn't have it in him to argue back (because he knows she's right).)

...

(There's that moment when she's speaking when he becomes tense and seems defensive but after, he forces himself to relax. He lets out a held breath, drops his shoulders, and frowns,)

He's back.

(Yes, he'll focus on that instead. It's better than lingering on the past too deeply.)

... Actually wanted to ask you something.

[medicative]

Yes? What's on your mind?

[it'll be easier to answer, and guide him away from the self doubt.]

[harimaya]

While it was raining... I was pretty busy; fought a bunch of people, dragged a lot of people out of trouble. That wasn't a problem.

(It was exhausting and a lot of work but it wasn't anything he wasn't already used to. He handled that part well but he gets to the main issue. He's quiet for a moment. It takes him a while to get the words out of his mouth and he hisses, spitting them like the words are as bitter as they make him feel,)

But I ran into a bunch of people that got hurt. I know a bit... usually it's enough to keep someone alive 'til someone better comes along but... no one came.

(It was just him. He was the only one that could help at the time and help wasn't going to come quickly enough during the crisis. And that was even if it came at all.)

I did what I could but... it wasn't good enough. (And he hates it. It's frustrating. He'd felt so useless. Then seriously, with quiet resolve, ) I wanna be better.

[medicative]

[she nods then, understanding the situation. it's not like the volunteers who just want to pick up some hours or the matter of handing him a first aid kit. helping, being better, is more than that.]

We can work on that, if you like.

[she can train him as an assistant, and give him the basic skills he might be lacking. the oversight, the care - it can be learned, refined, until he's where he wants to be.]

When do you want to start?

[harimaya]

(Ah, that went smoothly. He was afraid she'd insist he was fine or tell him not to worry or something but... no, this is good. This is exactly what he wanted and he replies,)

As soon as possible.

(The sooner he starts, the sooner he can be better.)

[medicative]

All right.

[going to the front desk, she opens a drawer and pulls out a sheet of paper, coming back to him with a pen.]

Fill this out - it's just basic information to contact you with and your availability - and what we'll do is get you set up on the rota to come in for some volunteer shifts. Beyond that, I can add you to the lessons that have already been started for a few, unless you'd prefer to meet privately once a week?

[harimaya]

(He takes the sheet and pen from her. It's like she says... an easy form to fill out. His schedule isn't very consistent given that he works so many odd jobs but he can decide on a time to commit on... a time when he's usually less busy,.)

...

(The idea of taking lessons with others comes with its own stresses. He understands his own ability (he thinks) and it's easy to assume that others are better than him but insecurity and anxiety will just get in his way. If it's to be better then he can swallow his pride and--)

I'll come.

(To the lessons. Even if he's starting behind he'll just work harder to catch up. He's never been afraid of working.)