jigokulogs | I put an axe in my baby's head, I'm gonna end up doing time [SEMI-CLOSED]

[those are the eyes she knows. that's the voice she knows. she turns her hand to hold his tightly, and tries to help him back to his feet.]

Come on...let's get out of the rain for the time being.

[anywhere will do. anywhere where the door is open or there's an awning big enough for them to recover in. the medicine won't last forever, but it should last him for a while yet, to protect his mind from influence and falsehood, to keep Karasu calm as well - to allow him to rest.]

[ Up he goes, putting his trust in her and going where she leads him. His poorly tended to wounds are aching worse than ever. It's fine...He probably deserves it. ]

I...I dunno how th' fuck ya do it. Stayin' strong for everyone else when shit's fallin' apart...

[there's a storefront that's been recently evacuated - the awning will provide cover, and the door is open enough that they could go in if they pleased. with them out of the direct rain, they can breathe for a moment.]

...I'm only strong because of everyone else. If I was alone, I'd probably just run away. Even though I'm used to my life in danger, on my own, I'm a coward.

[it's the truth. it always has been. with no one to answer to, she always looks to her survival, and runs. it is no admirable thing, but simple desperation. the desire to live somehow overrides any sense of shame.]

But when it comes to other people, somehow I can manage. Even if I'm terrified of so much, I can't imagine letting you fall. That's all it is.

[now she can draw near, reaching to move hair matted with blood out of his face. she'll have to look to her wounds in a moment, but they have to wait, until she's sure he won't blame himself for them.]

Edited 2022-06-09 10:30 (UTC)

[ He knows the need to survive over shame. Picking through trash to find food was better than dying. He can't judge her. ]

...Never been more grateful t' have ya. [ Honest, vulnerable. Everything feels so raw right now. Bloodied as he is, he still leans to give her a gentle kiss. ] 'm sorry I tore into ya...

[ Unfortunately, he does blame himself. There's no stopping that. He will let it go eventually, just not right now. The fact he hurt her almost hurts more than the gunshot wound.

Almost.

He's just...not going to draw attention to it. That's his penance for hurting people he cares about in his frenzied state. ]

It's all right. You're already forgiven.

[words murmured after the kiss, staying near to him.]

I know you weren't yourself. Besides, I've had far worse in the past...

[none of those came from someone she loved. but if she compares the severity, it can be lessened, made tolerable. she'd endure far worse to get him back, after all, knowing she can bring herself back. it has to be alright.]

[ It doesn't make him feel any better. The ones he loves shouldn't have to worry about him being a danger to them. ]

...Ya prolly got other people t' get to. Jus'...leave me here. I'll be alright now.

[ He doesn't want her to go, but he's still under the impression he's not worth her time. Even after everything, he can't find the worth in himself. ]

I'm not leaving you.

[hadn't she said it? "not without you." what kind of person would she be, to leave the man she loves alone in this nightmare? he deserves so much more - even though she's not often this stubborn, the look in her eyes says she's willing to be.]

You either come with me, or I'm staying here.

[ Neither option is what he wants. Being alone after what he did and what he experienced probably isn't the best idea and yet that's exactly what he wants and thinks he deserves. ]

...If ya stay here, I might attack ya again. [ If they go, though... ] I need t' get cleaned up or somethin'.

[ Trust. Trust in her. Trust that this will be as alright as it can be given the circumstances. ]

So...Let's get outta here.

Stay close to me, please.

[she'll do her best to stay close to him as well. soon enough, she thinks, there will be a place to duck in and avoid the rain long enough to gather themselves for real, and her thoughts come true with a recently abandoned storefront - the proprietor must have fled when the cursed energy started, because the door's not even all the way closed. mentally, she apologizes, but even places like this should have some sort of bathroom and sink to at least get the blood off their faces.

oh yeah, and she should probably take a look at whatever his talons did to her. that's kind of important.]

[ Not the first time he's gone into a recently abandoned building -- at least this one didn't need to have the window broken. Sorry to that bar owner for both the window and the booze.

Regardless, he does as he's told and sticks close to her. Now that his frenzy has settled, his wound hurts, so much so that it slows him down. It's fine...

Once they're inside, he nudges her towards the bathroom. ]

Check yerself out first. I'll wash up when yer down.

[ He doesn't want to see what he did to her. ]

[she knows arguing will get her nowhere, so she concedes, heading to rinse the blood from her face and arms. the injuries...she could let them heal, but every time he looked at them, he'd no doubt feel the same discontent he does now. so, she takes a breath and lets her own power flow through her, knitting flesh and blood back together, until it's like she was never hurt at all. there. he'll never have to remember.

coming back out, she looks him over once, twice - she has suspicions, but she'd need to watch him moving before anything else.]

Your turn.

[see, Izo? it's fine. she fixed it.]

Yeah, yeah, I'm goin'...

[ Well...That's considerate of her. He forces a brief smile before going to wash up himself. His pace is deliberately slow and there is a noticeable stiffness in his gait. Izō is just going to pretend to be fine long enough to get himself washed up.

His hair is a lost cause in just a sink, but at least he can scrub his face and arms clean. At least it doesn't stain like the rain in Hakagemachi... ]

[she'll give him a bit, but he isn't allowed to be alone for too long. she's knocking on the door soon enough.]

Why didn't you say you were injured?

[let her in. let her see it.]

[ He opens the door with a grunt, water dripping off his face. ]

Ryouma shot me...It ain't that bad. Ain't like someone's mouth's been on it or anythin'.

[ That's suspicious. ]

Edited 2022-06-14 06:07 (UTC)

Why would someone's mouth - you got shot, Izo! There's no way that's not bad!

[his weird denials will be addressed later if at all.]

Let me see it.

[she's going to fix it. this is not optional.]

It's fine, Hizen took care of it!

[ With booze and an inadequate first aid kit, but Emily doesn't need to know that. Izō had also ripped the bandages off at some point so it's not like that did a whole lot of good.

He dries his face and hands before opening up his shirt to show her the wound on his hip. ]

See? It ain't bad...

He didn't take care of it if this is the condition it's left in!

[the frown on her face only deepens, and she crouches to inspect it further. he's lucky that it didn't hit anything vital, he'd barely be moving in that case. putting her hand near it, she looks up at him.]

...May I heal you?

[as irritated as she is that he didn't call her - that he was intent on hiding this - she won't do it without his yes.]

I tore th' bandage off! Or Karasu did...an' some shit happened between then, anyway!

[ At least he's careful to not mention the wound licking again.

As for the question of healing, Izō averts his gaze. On some level, he wants to stay hurt. He wants this as a reminder of what blind trust can do, an indelible mark upon him that he can see and feel. A type of punishment for himself. ]

...No. Leave it alone.

[him looking away means he misses the concern that flashes over her face, the worry that he'd choose to live with this when it could be fixed, when he wouldn't have to endure it. but she cannot force him into treatment - she loves him too much to not allow him to make his choices, even if she disagrees.

no magic, then. instead, she pulls back, opening the satchel of first aid equipment that hasn't left her side since this all started.]

...May I at least reduce the pain?

[cover it with new bandages. something. she'll pull out the lecture on infections and the death from them if she has to. but please, let her do something - it feels too wrong to let it fully alone.]

[ He knows she wants to do something for him and after what was done to this wound, he should really let her. It's not like he wants it to get infected nor does he want the searing pain he's dealing with right now.

He nods. ]

Yeah...Go ahead.

[ Because knowing she'd suffer if he said no is not the punishment he's after. Emily doesn't deserve that. ]

Thank you.

[with his permission, then, she can proceed. to clean it as gently as possible, since if it hasn't been covered it needs that done again. to carefully inject the local anesthetic she has near it, so that things will go numb soon enough, and allow him some relief. to cover it up, even as she wants badly to close it and let him recover that way.]

...You'll need stitches, if you're set on not taking it easy for the next month.

...Yer gonna insist until I let ya stitch it up, ain't ya?

[ Her concern feels...nice, at least. Genuine. The same sort of feeling he got from Hizen.

He doesn't deserve it. ]

Of course I will. If you're going to bear this wound, you can at least bear it with it assured to heal the best it can.

[she knows he won't go to an actual hospital or anywhere else and do it on his own. he knows she won't speak of this happening to anyone beyond him.]

Well, get it over with already.

[ Fussy. At least he's being a decent patient and not flinching or squirming too much. He trusts her completely...Even if he learned trust can be a dangerous thing. She isn't consumed by the nightmare the way Ryouma was. It's different.

He can trust her not to make this even worse than it already is. ]

...It, uh, it went all th' way through. If that matters at all..

It does.

[it tells her what she'll need to stitch up, and this she knows better than any magic - when it's been long enough to dull his pain down to an annoyance, then she can start her work. careful, steady hands, tiny stitches on the exit wound so that it'll be able to pull itself together. this isn't anything that'll let him off easy - he'll still have to be careful - but he won't be oozing blood by the time she's done, bandages clean and snug, and most importantly, his pain will be even more reduced.]

There...that should hold you for today, as long as you're careful. I can see to changing that often enough, if you'd like.

[it's a beacon of normal in the midst of this bad dream. something she can do, that she understands.]

I put an axe in my baby's head, I'm gonna end up doing time [SEMI-CLOSED]

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