jigokulogs | I put an axe in my baby's head, I'm gonna end up doing time [SEMI-CLOSED]

[ It's not a matter of thinking, he knows he's one right now. There's no difference between him and the tengu. At least he understands Hizen -- doesn't trust him, but at least understands him.

Izō nods as he gets closer, tightly coiled and ready to pounce. A final warning to stay back comes in the form of claws lashing out to rake across whatever he can get a hold of.

He needs to get out of this rain before he's too far gone to have any sense left. ]

...

(It makes his chest feel strange. A little tight, like something has a grip on his heart. It's always the heart, he thinks. Troublesome, burdensome, but ever important. If he had to describe this feeling... he thinks he would call it "sad.")

You aren't. (Okada Izo isn't a beast. He knows this to be absolute. But he wonders how much is getting across right now. How much is Izo willing to listen to right now?) Well.

(He braces himself,)

Let's do this again.

(Confront the desperate force called "Okada Izo" like he'd done in Bunkyuu Tosa. They'll resolve this the way they both do best: Fighting.

Hand shifting to his sword and he frowns. His heart isn't in this and he knows it,)

... Sorry.

(He really is. He won't give Izo the advantage of striking first. He charges but doesn't draw his sword, instead, keeping it sheathed as he tries to strike. There's no intent to kill-- he's fighting to disarm.)

[ Izō is, too. He's relying purely on instinct to fight, guarding the strike with his forearms. There is something cutting through the feral insanity that's turned him this way and he manages to act on it. ]

Help...

[ His voice is badly distorted, Karasu's hollow tone blending with his. It's a desperate whisper, the only thing he can get past the frenzy in his mind. He lashes out again, trying to rake Hizen's arm with his claws. ]

(Careless. He really is wild right now, isn't he? And yet, a piece of him still comes through, quiet and weak and desperate and painfully familiar.)

Help?!

(He leaps back to try and get away from the slash. It catches at least one of his arms, cutting through the fabric of his hoodie and breaking skin. It's fine, he thinks. It's just a scratch. He can endure much more than this and he tries again. This time, he charges low to the ground and tries to catch Izo from below, bringing his sword up vertically to try and catch him under the chin.)

Beasts don't speak but I can hear you! (He can hear more than what's simply being said. At least, that's how he feels.) I've always heard you. Even when it seemed like no one else did... I always listened...!

So talk to me, Okada Izo.

[ The strike connects, disorienting Izō and sending him reeling. A defensive, reactive kick is all he can manage, the talons on his feet just as dangerous as the claws on his hands.

Fight.

Hizen is real. He's real. One of the most reliable swords he used, the one he repaired after it broke. Why would Hizen lie to him?

He spits out a mouthful of blood; his fangs cut his lip when he took the blow to his chin. ]

Help me...Dry.

[ Out of the rain, he can maybe control himself. Thinking is so hard when the tengu is out for blood. ]

(He hisses, curling into the kick reflexively and... grabs onto Izo's leg before he can pull back. He'll deal with whatever injury he has later. Right now, he pulls on Izo to hopefully make him lose his balance and fall over.

Help him get dry. Help him get out of the rain. His eyes scan their surroundings. A narrow alleyway, an open street, there's little shelter and his best bet is under the awning of a nearby shop. )

I hear ya.

(If he can get Izo onto the ground, he's going to try to keep him down and cover him with his body. Not that it's much but damn, he's going to try his best.)

But ya gotta listen to me, too...!

[ Down he goes flat on his back with a grunt. He still tries to pull his leg free, but it's not much of a struggle. He's hiding a gunshot wound among other more minor injuries, so he certainly isn't at full strength.

Words are too difficult, so he just nods. He'll listen as much as he's able to. ]

(He keeps himself low over Izo, trying to keep him from moving as much as possible. He makes sure to cover Izo's head in particular, reaching to hold his head in his arms, to protect it from anymore rain.)

Don't move.

(Slowly, he reaches for the scarf around his own neck, tugging it loose and covering Izo's head.)

Just listen t'me, 'kay? There's a shop nearby. We're gonna make a run for it.

(He feels tense with stress but he's already thinking of the best way to make it to the shop. There's really no shelter between them and the shop. A direct line is best. He doesn't know how well Izo can keep up with him when he feels so... vulnerable and weak? But--)

Now isn't the time to be weak. You gotta be strong and you're gonna hold onto me, got it? Just like old times.

[ He feels like a cornered animal, but Hizen's voice is soothing enough to keep him from lashing out. The little bit of protection he offers from the rain does help. Izō has at least a moment of clarity. ]

Always were a good fuckin' sword...Let's go.

[ As awful as he feels and as tenuous as his grip on himself is, he can keep up with Hizen long enough to seek shelter. ]

(Ah. If the situation was different, he'd be happier. He'd feel prouder. Right now, this isn't about him though. It's about Izo and he just gives one, reassuring squeeze before picking himself up and reaching to pull Izo back up onto his feet. There's no time to fuss or make sure he's ready. They have to get out of the rain now and he begins to pull Izo along.

Out of the alley.

Across the street.

Into the rain.

To safety.

His grip on Izo's clawed hand is tight and desperate. When they get to safety, the spot is smaller than he would have liked but he makes sure to push Izo under it, all while trying to wipe whatever rain he can off of him.)

Look, we made it. (He's trying to be encouraging.) Real easy. You're gonna be okay.

[ Trying to wipe him clean is a losing effort. He looks like he's been bathing in blood. Who knows how long he's been out here soaking in it? The gesture doesn't go unappreciated, at least. He manages a pained, but genuine smile. ]

...I know. I got ya right here. [ His words are still strained. Karasu is trying to claw his way back into control, but his frenzy has been subdued somewhat. Izō looks around where they're standing. ] ...Anyway t' get inside?

[ Besides breaking the window, of course. ]

(It still doesn't stop him from trying if only because he has to feel like he's doing something. Izo's words make him feel like he's accomplishing just that, though. He's able to do something for Izo even if that something is practically nothing.

He stops his fussing for a moment. Is there a way inside? The store is dark, the closed sign can be seen through the door. He can only assume it's locked and...)

--Yeah.

(He grabs his sword (still sheathed) and smashes the window with it. Not a single thought went into that. The glass shatters and he kicks the rest of it down so they can get in more easily. He steps in first and then turns around to help Izo through.)

[ Well, that's fine. Who gives a shit about property damage? Certainly not Izō. He accepts the help, grimacing as he steps through. Now it hurts. ]

I jus' need t' rest...I'll be fine.

[ Downplaying the fact he got shot to take attention off of himself is par for the course. ]

I didn't get ya too bad, did I?

(He tries to be gentle but the truth is, he doesn't really know how. He feels like he's handling something delicate instead of a person and once he gets Izo over the ledge, he's quick to guide him down to a place to sit-- a place he can rest.)

You better be.

(Fine. Because Hizen is barely equipped to take care of anyone.

He shakes his head. His arms are scratched, he'll have to check his stomach later, but all of it feels minor compared to the way the rain and the curses exhaust him. He's fine. Izo didn't get him too bad at all.)

You're fighting like shit. Are ya hurt?

(Because the Izo he knows should have been a greater challenge, he thinks. His attention is on Izo but he's also scanning the building they're in. A bar. That means there has to be clean water provided the supply isn't tainted. Even then, there are other things he can use. There have to be some rags somewhere behind the counter? Maybe a kit. Yeah, this isn't the worst place. He can work with this.)

[ It hurts to sit. It hurts to move now that his frenzy has settled. Izō tries not to draw attention to the fact he's clutching a spot near his hip, like that'll do something to stop the pain. ]

Got shot...'s fine.

[ Way to downplay that, Izō!! ]

(Eyes widen with surprise, panic flashes and he shoves all of those feelings back down again. He looks Izo over and sees the way he's holding onto his side and curses under his breath,)

Damnit.

(He stands up straight and looks back at the bar,)

Don't move.

(And he runs back behind the counter. There's the sound of bottles clinking around, things being knocked onto floors, drawers being opened, and when he returns his arms are full. Bar towels, a bottle of liquor, some plastic bottles of water, and a basic first aid kit. He sets it all down beside them and swats at Izo's hands,)

Let me see.

[ Reluctantly he moves his hands. Low on his left side, just above the hip with an exit wound out the back. It's still oozing blood, as Izō never stopped moving after he was shot. ]

It ain't nothin'...

[ It is something. ]

Edited (insufficient ellipses) 2022-06-11 07:02 (UTC)

That ain't "ain't nothin'."

(God! He looks down at his hands, covered in blood rain and dirt. Honestly, Hizen is filthy and he just... shrugs off his hoodie, tossing it aside in a wet pile. Underneath, he just has on a black tank top. As messy as he is, the bandage around his neck stays even if it's been stained a brown color by the rain.

He's also going to roll up Izo's shirt or whatever it is he's wearing to get a better look. He really is trying to be gentle but he can't help but manhandle a bit. An exit wound in the back means... there's no bullet to recover, right? He isn't an expert.

He opens one of the bottles of water first and pours,)

How long were ya out there?

(It's... not really a conversation. It's information.)

[ Ow. Izō flinches and reflexively swats at Hizen. ]

...Dunno. Hours, probably. Last thing I remember clearly is...Ryouma shootin' me.

[ It's hard to remember anything when the youkai inside you takes over as a self-preservation instinct. They may share a consciousness, but it doesn't mean they necessary share memories. ]

Karasu's been in control since then...Kinda.

[ Control is a loose term with that sort of frenzied energy. ]

(And he swats right back and just hisses.

Pouring the rest of the water onto his hands, he opens the bottle of alcohol next. It's as he's soaking the towel that he hears Ryouma and there's a moment where he freezes. He looks up at Izo, concerned.)

Ryouma...?

(Shot Izo...? He's trying to wrap his head around it. He... really can't believe it.)

Somethin'...Somethin' was wrong -- real wrong. I called his fuckin' bluff an' lost that bet.

[ "Ya always were a shit gambler."

The words still sting even now. Not as much as his gunshot wound, of course. ]

I was tryin' to talk him outta gettin' caught up in what th' curse was showin' him, but...He up an' shot me instead'a listenin'.

(It's strange to feel so defensive and protective but also concerned for the exact person he wants to fight right now?)

... Sorry.

(He apologizes in advance before applying the alcohol soaked cloth to Izo's wound,)

He's a dumbass.

(This isn't Izo's fault. It's Ryouma's for being so hardheaded.)

[ Well, that's a new brand of pain. Izō tries his best to endure it and manages not to flinch away, but he can't fight the urge to cry out. This was kind of his own fault (or at least he blames himself like it is), so this is what he gets for his trouble. ]

Fuck... [ He hisses through gritted teeth as the immediate pain subsides. ] An' I know...He's fuckin' stupid. Known that a real long time...

If he'd been smart, he woulda been a better shot an' killed me.

(He won't waste his time with further apologies. He's already said sorry once and he isn't going to do it again!! He knows Izo can handle it anyway. He just keeps dabbing at the wound, trying to clean it of the blood and crime so it won't get infected.

The entire time, he keeps his eyes down. He's no good at talking to begin with and now he has to talk Izo through this? He wishes there was someone better to do it.)

... If he was smart, he wouldn't've had done it at all. (He speaks quietly, like he's unsure but it's more that he's unsure about what he's saying than what he thinks,) Y'know, no one's themselves right now.

[ Hizen doesn't need to talk him through it. Hell, Izō expected him to say nothing and just focus on the injury instead. Not that the effort in unappreciated, just that Izō is equally bad at talking about things. He'd rather deal with physical wounds than emotional ones; the physical wounds heal faster. ]

I fuckin' know...'s why I ain't real mad about th' whole thing.

[ Not that he isn't going to show Ryouma the scar later and remind him of the incident like an asshole. ]

More pissed off at myself for losin' it...Ain't th' first time it happened. Shit like this happened in Hakagemachi -- was hopin' I'd never have t' deal with it again.

I put an axe in my baby's head, I'm gonna end up doing time [SEMI-CLOSED]

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