jigokulogs | I put an axe in my baby's head, I'm gonna end up doing time [SEMI-CLOSED]

[ He feels like a cornered animal, but Hizen's voice is soothing enough to keep him from lashing out. The little bit of protection he offers from the rain does help. Izō has at least a moment of clarity. ]

Always were a good fuckin' sword...Let's go.

[ As awful as he feels and as tenuous as his grip on himself is, he can keep up with Hizen long enough to seek shelter. ]

(Ah. If the situation was different, he'd be happier. He'd feel prouder. Right now, this isn't about him though. It's about Izo and he just gives one, reassuring squeeze before picking himself up and reaching to pull Izo back up onto his feet. There's no time to fuss or make sure he's ready. They have to get out of the rain now and he begins to pull Izo along.

Out of the alley.

Across the street.

Into the rain.

To safety.

His grip on Izo's clawed hand is tight and desperate. When they get to safety, the spot is smaller than he would have liked but he makes sure to push Izo under it, all while trying to wipe whatever rain he can off of him.)

Look, we made it. (He's trying to be encouraging.) Real easy. You're gonna be okay.

[ Trying to wipe him clean is a losing effort. He looks like he's been bathing in blood. Who knows how long he's been out here soaking in it? The gesture doesn't go unappreciated, at least. He manages a pained, but genuine smile. ]

...I know. I got ya right here. [ His words are still strained. Karasu is trying to claw his way back into control, but his frenzy has been subdued somewhat. Izō looks around where they're standing. ] ...Anyway t' get inside?

[ Besides breaking the window, of course. ]

(It still doesn't stop him from trying if only because he has to feel like he's doing something. Izo's words make him feel like he's accomplishing just that, though. He's able to do something for Izo even if that something is practically nothing.

He stops his fussing for a moment. Is there a way inside? The store is dark, the closed sign can be seen through the door. He can only assume it's locked and...)

--Yeah.

(He grabs his sword (still sheathed) and smashes the window with it. Not a single thought went into that. The glass shatters and he kicks the rest of it down so they can get in more easily. He steps in first and then turns around to help Izo through.)

[ Well, that's fine. Who gives a shit about property damage? Certainly not Izō. He accepts the help, grimacing as he steps through. Now it hurts. ]

I jus' need t' rest...I'll be fine.

[ Downplaying the fact he got shot to take attention off of himself is par for the course. ]

I didn't get ya too bad, did I?

(He tries to be gentle but the truth is, he doesn't really know how. He feels like he's handling something delicate instead of a person and once he gets Izo over the ledge, he's quick to guide him down to a place to sit-- a place he can rest.)

You better be.

(Fine. Because Hizen is barely equipped to take care of anyone.

He shakes his head. His arms are scratched, he'll have to check his stomach later, but all of it feels minor compared to the way the rain and the curses exhaust him. He's fine. Izo didn't get him too bad at all.)

You're fighting like shit. Are ya hurt?

(Because the Izo he knows should have been a greater challenge, he thinks. His attention is on Izo but he's also scanning the building they're in. A bar. That means there has to be clean water provided the supply isn't tainted. Even then, there are other things he can use. There have to be some rags somewhere behind the counter? Maybe a kit. Yeah, this isn't the worst place. He can work with this.)

[ It hurts to sit. It hurts to move now that his frenzy has settled. Izō tries not to draw attention to the fact he's clutching a spot near his hip, like that'll do something to stop the pain. ]

Got shot...'s fine.

[ Way to downplay that, Izō!! ]

(Eyes widen with surprise, panic flashes and he shoves all of those feelings back down again. He looks Izo over and sees the way he's holding onto his side and curses under his breath,)

Damnit.

(He stands up straight and looks back at the bar,)

Don't move.

(And he runs back behind the counter. There's the sound of bottles clinking around, things being knocked onto floors, drawers being opened, and when he returns his arms are full. Bar towels, a bottle of liquor, some plastic bottles of water, and a basic first aid kit. He sets it all down beside them and swats at Izo's hands,)

Let me see.

[ Reluctantly he moves his hands. Low on his left side, just above the hip with an exit wound out the back. It's still oozing blood, as Izō never stopped moving after he was shot. ]

It ain't nothin'...

[ It is something. ]

Edited (insufficient ellipses) 2022-06-11 07:02 (UTC)

That ain't "ain't nothin'."

(God! He looks down at his hands, covered in blood rain and dirt. Honestly, Hizen is filthy and he just... shrugs off his hoodie, tossing it aside in a wet pile. Underneath, he just has on a black tank top. As messy as he is, the bandage around his neck stays even if it's been stained a brown color by the rain.

He's also going to roll up Izo's shirt or whatever it is he's wearing to get a better look. He really is trying to be gentle but he can't help but manhandle a bit. An exit wound in the back means... there's no bullet to recover, right? He isn't an expert.

He opens one of the bottles of water first and pours,)

How long were ya out there?

(It's... not really a conversation. It's information.)

[ Ow. Izō flinches and reflexively swats at Hizen. ]

...Dunno. Hours, probably. Last thing I remember clearly is...Ryouma shootin' me.

[ It's hard to remember anything when the youkai inside you takes over as a self-preservation instinct. They may share a consciousness, but it doesn't mean they necessary share memories. ]

Karasu's been in control since then...Kinda.

[ Control is a loose term with that sort of frenzied energy. ]

(And he swats right back and just hisses.

Pouring the rest of the water onto his hands, he opens the bottle of alcohol next. It's as he's soaking the towel that he hears Ryouma and there's a moment where he freezes. He looks up at Izo, concerned.)

Ryouma...?

(Shot Izo...? He's trying to wrap his head around it. He... really can't believe it.)

Somethin'...Somethin' was wrong -- real wrong. I called his fuckin' bluff an' lost that bet.

[ "Ya always were a shit gambler."

The words still sting even now. Not as much as his gunshot wound, of course. ]

I was tryin' to talk him outta gettin' caught up in what th' curse was showin' him, but...He up an' shot me instead'a listenin'.

(It's strange to feel so defensive and protective but also concerned for the exact person he wants to fight right now?)

... Sorry.

(He apologizes in advance before applying the alcohol soaked cloth to Izo's wound,)

He's a dumbass.

(This isn't Izo's fault. It's Ryouma's for being so hardheaded.)

[ Well, that's a new brand of pain. Izō tries his best to endure it and manages not to flinch away, but he can't fight the urge to cry out. This was kind of his own fault (or at least he blames himself like it is), so this is what he gets for his trouble. ]

Fuck... [ He hisses through gritted teeth as the immediate pain subsides. ] An' I know...He's fuckin' stupid. Known that a real long time...

If he'd been smart, he woulda been a better shot an' killed me.

(He won't waste his time with further apologies. He's already said sorry once and he isn't going to do it again!! He knows Izo can handle it anyway. He just keeps dabbing at the wound, trying to clean it of the blood and crime so it won't get infected.

The entire time, he keeps his eyes down. He's no good at talking to begin with and now he has to talk Izo through this? He wishes there was someone better to do it.)

... If he was smart, he wouldn't've had done it at all. (He speaks quietly, like he's unsure but it's more that he's unsure about what he's saying than what he thinks,) Y'know, no one's themselves right now.

[ Hizen doesn't need to talk him through it. Hell, Izō expected him to say nothing and just focus on the injury instead. Not that the effort in unappreciated, just that Izō is equally bad at talking about things. He'd rather deal with physical wounds than emotional ones; the physical wounds heal faster. ]

I fuckin' know...'s why I ain't real mad about th' whole thing.

[ Not that he isn't going to show Ryouma the scar later and remind him of the incident like an asshole. ]

More pissed off at myself for losin' it...Ain't th' first time it happened. Shit like this happened in Hakagemachi -- was hopin' I'd never have t' deal with it again.

(The wound mostly clean for now, he wonders if he should check for pieces or something but there's this real fear that he'll just make things worse if he tries. He doesn't even know how to check--)

We'll get ya a real doctor.

(He wonders what Emily is doing. No doubt, she's busy, but there are other doctors and healers they could call on in a pinch. Kim had known what he was doing when he helped Hizen before. For now, what he can do is keep it clean.

This first aid kit is pretty basic. There's some gauze he can work with but no bandage large enough to wrap around or stick where he needs it to. If he sticks together some of the larger bandages, he can get something that can kind of work so he does that while wishing he was better. THe entire time, he listens.)

That place.

(Hakagemachi. Again. It isn't really an invitation to talk about it. He'd like to keep Izo distracted while he works but that just... doesn't seem like the best topic? But he'll see what Izo chooses to say next.)

No.

[ Firm. He doesn't want to see anyone right now, especially not Emily, because he might lose control again. Hurting her unintentionally is the last thing he wants to do. His injury can't be that bd, given he was running around with it...right? It's fine.

He'll be fine -- at least that's what he's telling himself. ]

...Yeah, that place. It fuckin' sucked. Bein' there was makin' me go crazy. Time was all fucked up, so the same weeks, days, even fuckin' hours'd repeat. Never knew what was goin' on...Without Majima an' Emily...I wouldn't be here.

[ He grimaces, trying to ignore how bad everything hurts right now. ]

We went through a lotta shit together...

We're going to get ya a doctor.

(He says it again. He knows how stubborn Izo is. Hell, he inherited his own stubbornness from him! And that's why Hizen is insistent. They will find a doctor. He will be treated.)

I'll drag ya to one if I have to. (And he'll stay with him if he's afraid. He's applying some pressure to the front now, sticking his extremely mediocre patchwork bandage over it.) I can't... take care of this.

(He's not a healer. He's a fighter. He's useless here?)

The best I can do is find someone better. If ya've been through shit together then... Emily'll know.

(AT LEAST?)

I said no!

[ He doesn't know how long he can keep control of himself. All things considered, it's not a life-threatening wound. Painful, unpleasant, and definitely needing better handling than this? Yes. But will it kill him if he puts off proper care until he feels more stable?

Probably not. ]

I ain't goin' t' see her...She got better shit t' do. [ At least he's not fighting the first aid. ] An' ya should get goin' once yer done...I'll be fine here. Jus' need t' rest a li'l.

(Izo snaps and Hizen only snaps back because they are exactly the same,)

I'm trying to take care ya!

(His temper is flaring and its enough to get him to stop what he's doing for a second,)

I don't care what she's got going on! You're more important! (The most important to him right now. Always one of his most precious people. As his temper rises and his emotions begin to boil over, he can feel himself starting to just vibrate in his own body. He's trembling with frustration,) I'm not leaving.

Even if ya want me to... I'm staying 'til I know you're gonna be okay.

[ Izō looks like a scolded dog as Hizen's anger boils over. It doesn't feel good to have people worrying about him, as stupid as that sounds. They shouldn't worry about him...He isn't worth it.

He's not going to push Hizen away, though. Izō doesn't say anything, just pulls him into a hug. They're both sticky from the blood rain, but it doesn't matter. They could both use the comfort right now. ]

...I promise I'll be alright. Th' hell kinda master would I be if a li'l thing like this took me out?

(He isn't expecting this at all and he naturally resists at first. He tenses and tries to push back but

it feels nice. Even if they're filthy and dirty and everything is terrible, it feels nice. Honestly, it makes him feel a little stronger just to be held by someone so special. He doesn't move. He's completely frozen in Izo's arm and he whispers,)

The best. Ya'd still be the best.

[ That just earns him a tighter squeeze. Izō just holds him like that for a little bit longer before he loosens his grip, resting his forehead against Hizen's. ]

Yer th' best sword I coulda had. A sword's name don't mean shit to me, jus' it's ability t' cut...'S why I made sure to take care'a ya.

So don't worry...I ain't gonna jus' fuck off an' leave ya. Jus'...need some time t' make sure I ain't gonna lose it again. Better if ya ain't here...

I put an axe in my baby's head, I'm gonna end up doing time [SEMI-CLOSED]

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