jigokulogs | Catch-All

Maze, list, mind map, spider web, whatever -

[ He pours over their list, taking note of certain trades and their corresponding sources and receiver. ]

- its crap. Just crap. If this was arranged by a god, or the fucking Daitengu again, I am kicking them in the dick.

[ He really wants the opportunity. Don't make him beg. ]

Okay. I think I have the makings of a somewhat reasonable trade...route. Thing. Whatever. I have a plan. First up is getting rid of this thing, but we can save ourselves a load of trouble if we go to the fella first then tell him to come back with equipment to roll this thing there.

[ Giving the machine a swift tap with his foot. ]

Heh. You know, I bet the higher ups would appreciate it if I helped doing that. Stupid tengu, always thinking they're better than folks. Whaaaatever. Let's just hope it's not him. I think he might be over our paygrade right now.

[Boy that felt like bile to admit.]

Hmmmm.... we don't want anyone running away with it, so what do you say you go find him and I'll stand guard and look menacingly at anyone who looks like they want to take it?

[She put her wooden sword on her shoulder and looked... uh... as menacing as she was able. Seriously? She was actually a threatening combatant in theory, but she was not good at looking the part.]

Uhhhh...

[ He tries his best to not judge a book by its cover. Assess each person for threats, yes - but not judging. ]

Yeah sure, I can do that.

[ Who would steal a washing machine anyway? ]

Okay, I'll be back in a minute.

[ He heads off down the street, coming back ten minutes later with a yokai pushing a transport cart in tow. ]

There, you're washing machine. She's with me so, hand over what you owe us.

[ He's not intentionally being vague, he just doesn't remember what it is he's looking for anymore without opening the notes. ]

[You never knew in this town. She wasn't taking a chance that would have them hunting for another of these for even longer. She gave him a playful salute and sat down on the washing machine. Shhh. this was also useful for her being lazy for a few minutes until the youkai arrived.

Hopping off, she grinned almost triumphantly over at the youkai, who nodded and brought out a bushel of very fishy-smelling fish and set it down for the two of them, bowing in thanks. She returned the bow and walked over to pick it up by the straps.]

Is it weird that I actually feel like we're getting somewhere?

[ He's tempted to let out a sigh of relief but keeps his head level. This is far from done. ]

Let's not start sucking each others dicks just yet. This is step one of....many.

[ He takes out the notes, crossing out one trade and then tracing and cross referencing for the next. ]

Now we get these fish to the zashiki warashi, so lets hurry that along. I am very tempted to take a few makarel.

That is definitely a turn of phrase right there. [She made a little face before laughing softly.] You're right, though. Celebrate when we've got this whole thing done. It's not even paying that well except in "good will" or whatever.

[She honestly forgot what he offered to pay. Right now the idea of a failed contract was more enticement than getting paid. She remembered where that house spirit was, so she took the lead, glancing over her shoulder.]

Hey, as long as we've got enough of it for them, I don't really care if you skim a little off the top. Heck, I doubt the spirit cares as long as they get what they want. Isn't that how this is supposed to work?

[Maybe that was the paycheck? But what did she want with excess school supplies?]

I'd rather not. A job is a job, and since lives aren't on the line here, I'll make sure not to cut corners.

[ Of course a hitman saying he cut corners is a terrible thing since that can go either way, but it should be fine in this regard. ]

Let's keep things moving. Downtown, yeah? Fastest way is by train or cab, though the first one requires some walking.

Let's go with the train. I don't know these cab things all that well, and it feels like the sort of situation that they'd be able to just drive the long way around, so we have to give them even more.

[She didn't know cabs well, but it didn't take much to figure their game out. Already, she was setting off, motioning for him to come with, speaking over her shoulder.]

So, since we're doing this thing together, who's this Bishop fellow I'm working with? What do you do?

I drink. I fight. I make messes. Sleep. Repeat.

[ Which, actually, is not a lie. He doesn't feel the need to tell anyone what he actually does since he hasn't even quite figured out if he is dead or not. ]

Not a particularly interesting person, I'm afraid. Unless you're interested in cooking, then I'm the most interesting man here.

Hah, well alright. My kind of thug. [She was chuckling as they walked, shaking her head.] Most of my friends back home are just like that. They make a mess, get into fights, and then the oni show up with drinks and it's a party after the stupidity ends.

[Those aren't your friends, Tenshi. They can barely stand you.]

But you're a cook eh? What do you cook?

Anything. Everything. I've been cooking and practicing for a long time. Fortune was on my side and I got to try out alot of things with the benefits of skilled teachers.

[ One of which will never give him a seal of approval, but he's also an demanding Frenchman so - not passing and only getting a 'your dish is fit for humans' is the best he can get. ]

I don't like limiting myself to one or two categories of the culinary arts. So I do whatever I can to master them all.

[ Which, as long as he doesn't die, he has all eternity to do. But he might be dead since he's here, but looks like he can keep going. ]

[She glanced over at him, raising an eyebrow. Oh, that was definitely something. There weren't a lot of people who talked about things like "the culinary arts" and different styles.]

So, you're more an actual chef than just someone who cooks? That's kind of nice. Haven't really had anything fancy to eat in a long while, not unless you count heavenly peaches. And they're great and all, but you have one, you've had em all.

I was trying to be humble, but yes - I'm a chef.

[ And a barrista, and a bartender, and a baker. ]

Heavenly Peaches? [ Did she mean... ] Like 'Peaches of Immortality'? Those Heavenly Peaches??

Oh, it's nice someone around here actually knows what I'm talking about when I say that. most folks have never heard of the peaches of immortality. Yeah, that was pretty much all I used to eat for I don't know how long in heaven.

You get real sick of peaches after a while.

[ He squints at her as if she's insane, and that's rich coming from someone like him, but after some consideration - hearing of someone eating heavenly peaches while in HELL doesn't really sound absurd. ]

That's kinda disappointing, I thought those things would taste more....mystical or something. Shame to hear that they're a one trick pony when it comes to flavor.

[ A beat. ]

Might make a good peach melba though.

Edited 2022-06-13 06:12 (UTC)

Well they do... It's nothing like eating a regular peach. I actually can't stand regular peaches. They're the same. It's insanely juicy. The texture is perfect to bite into. The flavors are more potent and sublime than anything you'll ever have. Even if it's the food of heaven, if it's all you eat... you lose your appetite. You never see anything but those peaches! Bunch of folks in the family missed eating regular human food, having regular lives.

[She laughed. Story of her life right there.]

Oh man, like nothing you've ever tasted. But it's sacrilegious for humans to eat the food of heaven, so we don't spread them around. I only got to because the whole family was elevated.

I'll bet it is.

[ Sacrilegious he means, not that has stopped him before. ]

So, other than peaches, there's nothing else in heaven? That's a pretty big let down.

Well, there's the gods. There's all of the enlightened and those who have ascended. And there's activities and Amaterasu's court, but I don't really get invited to the fancy shindigs.

[Because she was a constant disruption.]

I mean if you want peaceful existence, it's great. Eternal peace. [Yawn] I never really had a choice?

Uhuh....

[ Yeah, peaceful existence is just not in the cards for him. Not anymore. ]

So, essentially incredibly boring? That's pretty expected, I guess.

Incredibly boring. I sort of 'get it.' For the enlightened, it's the prize that they've been seeking all this time. They're at nirvana. They're ready for it. I just kind of showed up there.

It's really boring when you're not prepared for that sorta thing.

Paradise is supposed to be a place of rest. Kinda defeats the purpose if there's a bit too much stimulation, eh?

[ In the distance the familiar neon sign of the subway entrance being right around corner catches his eye. ]

Here we are. You got any change?

[ Immediately he rummages through his pockets, all six of them and getting a few coins for the machine. ]

[She rifled through her pockets, pulling out a small amount. She'd probably use up what extra she had to do this job and be done with it, but at least she had a little. Sighing, she went up to the machine and grunted.]

If you ask me, those old codgers could use some stimulation now and again. [Clink] They never appreciate it when I tell them that though.

[ He's about a hundred percent sure that he's gotten the measure of what she's like from that statement alone, and now he wonders if she was cast out or something. ]

I wonder why?

[ He gets his own ticket and frowned just at how expensive it is. This is highway robbery. ]

Have you considered that perhaps they might actually like how boring it is?

[Repeatedly. One does not earn the title of "Heaven's delinquent" by being a good little celestial and meditating all day.]

Pffft. It's always something. They've got sticks up their butts.

Oh, I'm sure some of them do. The ones who got in their on their own through enlightenment are their own kind of breed. I don't usually talk with them. Nothing in common, honestly. The rest of the family's kind of duty-bound and prissy about it. I don't think they ever really thought about the situation.

[She looked at her ticket and frowned.]

Man, these guys know how to keep us under their thumb. We're not making a profit on this job, you know.

[ He inhaled deeply and sighed just as long. ]

Don't remind me.

[ Money was never an issue for him in his previous life, but that didn't mean he spent like crazy. He saved and spent carefully. He wasn't exactly a man of expensive tastes, but great food and drink was pretty much the only thing he spurlged on. ]

Let's get going before we miss the train.

[ Navigating through the station and getting odd stares about the good they were carrying, one guard even trying to stop and tell them they can't carry that in only to be met with a glare from Bishop so intense that the guard turned an odd color. ]

That should keep them from bothering us.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject