jigokulogs | September 2022 Mingle!

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The influx of fresh Lost Souls means the factions need to have a little welcoming party for them. So some recreational activities are in order. All Lost Souls will receive a message from their respective faction leaders with orders to go have some fun.

Shuten - WEENIES ON PARADE

Shuten Clan newbies will be summoned to the Arena, which has been set up with a very different kind of fight than usual. The members of the Shuten Clan do nothing by half-measures. Partying, drinking, and eating are all encouraged to excess. This time they're inviting new recruits to test their mettle in various eating contests. You'll need nerves of steel and a stomach of iron to succeed. Hot dogs, marshmallows, pizza, lobster rolls, breakfast cereals, rice, and more are all on offer.

See how much you can eat and try not to get sick! Competitive eating is a messy, disgusting affair, regardless of the emergency buckets stationed strategically throughout the building.

If you're feeling especially ballsy, you can take on the biggest onis and other youkai by teaming up with your fellow Shutens. They're all confident enough to take that bet.

Glory, prize money, and antacids to the winners. Shame to the losers – they'll be run through town in weenie costumes.

Better eat up 🙂

Tamamo - ALL NIGHT LONG

The newest Tamamo recruits are summoned to a local gymnasium. Strangely, rather than sports equipment laid out on the court, there are a number of light futons, blankets, and pillows. Everyone will be sorted into one of two yukata patterns – one purple and one blue – and sent to their respective sides of the court to lie down in bed and pull up the covers.

It is then that the referee will explain the rules of competitive pillow fighting. When the whistle blows, jump up and grab one of the authorized pillows at the center of the court. It's a game much like dodgeball, but the goal is to hit the opposing team's king with a pillow from your half of the court. Team members use blankets and sometimes their bodies to protect their king.

There will be a few rounds, and you can rotate who is king at your discretion. Protect them with your life! Or whatever. Star players will receive a bonus and a coupon to one of the best Tamamo spas.

When the competitive stuff is done, the sleepover proper will begin. There will be liquor, sodas, and light snacks for everyone while movies are projected onto a screen late into the morning. The movies range from classic dramas and romances to outrageous yokai comedies.

Sutoku - GROSSERY GANG

The Alliance has found themselves in the possession of an entire truckload's worth of reject children's toys. Ever the opportunist, the Daitengu has assigned the project of inventorying and trashing the particularly offensive ones to the new guys.

Of course, you're expected to play with a few of them as well. Maybe one of them is decently fun, and they could sell the rest, you know? Many of these toys are gross out bathroom humor in nature, and spit water randomly at anyone who loses their round. The Daitengu has thoughtfully provided a selection of alcohol to make this game a little more adult friendly. Toys that lack the appropriate spitting mechanism can still be played over shots, really, go nuts.

While you 'work', there will be plenty of motivating music piped into the warehouse. The sound quality is not great, but they tried?

Everyone who sorts through a decent amount of toys will get a little extra pay, although who is really paying that much attention to who's doing what here?

Credit where it's due: We turned kids toys into drinking games

Enma - BREAKING THE ICE

Welcome to the Department of the Enma. New Lost Soul recruits will be summoned to a large conference room in Kaigo no Bou, which has been outfitted with a variety of buffet table offerings and tables which seat between 5 - 6 people comfortably. You are invited to fill your plates at your discretion, the craft services people are used to feeding bottomless yokai stomachs and the food will not run out.

Clipboards with a variety of icebreaker questions have been provided at each table. The pens have assuredly been firmly affixed to the clipboard. Please return them together.

Every 30 minutes Captain Shiki will blow her whistle to signal that you are to migrate to another table with fresh companions. You are, indeed, being forced to get to know your coworkers, lucky you. This isn't tedious at all.

Pick a few of the questions below to answer, and get chatting. Or Captain Shiki may come over to stare at you with intense disapproval. You can't get away with just zoning out to that sweet smooth jazz playing overhead!

1. If you had a time machine that would work only once, what point in the future or in history would you visit? 2. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? 3. If your house was burning down, what three objects would you try and save? 4. If you could talk to any one person now dead or alive, who would it be and why? 5. If you HAD to give up one of your senses (hearing, seeing, feeling, smelling, tasting) which would it be and why? 6. If you were an animal, what would you be and why? 7. Do you have a pet? If not, what sort of pet would you like? 8. Name a gift you will never forget? 9. Name one thing you really like about yourself. 10. What's your favorite thing to do in the summer? 11. Who's your favorite cartoon character, and why? 12. Does your name have a special meaning and/or were you named after someone special? 13. What is the hardest thing you have ever done? 14. If you are at a friend's or relative's house for dinner and you find a dead insect in your salad, what would you do? 15. What was the best thing that happened to you this past week? 16. If you had this week over again, what would you do differently? 17. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think about 'God'? 18. What's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten? 19. If you could change one problem in the world today, what would you like to change? 20. What book, movie or video have you seen/read recently you would recommend? Why?

All Factions - THE GIFT OF SONG

Did you all enjoy having some of your wishes granted? Well, so did a flock of those annoying magpie! They asked for the gift of music. These feathered nuisances, however, have fallen in love with an old school metal band. That is all they will be singing for the foreseeable future! Different members of the flock have taken up different instrumentals and vocals for the track, spread out across electrical wires and rooftops, singing their favorite rockin' tune to the skies!

Lost Souls have been asked to please catch them and get them to knock it off, they are truly annoying everyone, across all factions.

Should you catch these musical magpies, and not one of the other clans, they will tell you their sorry tale! They love this band, but the group broke up years ago. All the magpie want is for their favorite old dudes to be reunited to jam with them, one more time!

The old dudes are out there in the city, but who knows why they broke up and if they can even be convinced out of retirement. Good luck, if you succeed your boss will give you a favorable bonus, which would be a great boon to a newbie just getting settled.

In the meantime:

Shabadabadia
Shabadabadia
Babababa
Babababa
Babababa

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I went to military school.

[ ... ]

But I'm not interested in fighting any wars in hell. There's gambling, card tricks, sleight of hand... I can cook, but I wouldn't open a restaurant, y'know?

[ what else... ]

's better not to get involved in wars here.

[Not that he thinks the bosses are going care if that's what they order each other to do.

He hums.]

How well do you cook? And what?

Hey, I've had my fair share of them. I'm not too interested in getting tangled in another one. But I guess I can apply that to strategy, or field medicine if anyone needs patching up in the great outdoors.

[ still. factions. not exactly a word he'd associate with the land of the chill, friendly and never bickering. ]

I can make a mean fish burger.

That field medicine is probably gonna come in handy, considering that bounty out in the wastes.

[Not that Nero wants to go out there. But he's sure somebody's going to be reckless about it.]

Not too hard to catch a fish around here. You could work with somethin' fresh.

Is this that thing with the ridiculous pay off attached to it? People were going wild about it recently. Or is this something else?

[ reckless is good. we like reckless. probably. ]

… You can catch fresh fish in hell?

That's exactly what I'm talking about. [That amount of money is going to make so many people So Stupid.]

Sure. There's a river around, but some of the fish are hellish. Just gotta be ready to let some of 'em go.

Yeah, that’s gonna be a clusterfuck. When that kind of cash is involved, people will just go wild.

[ he’s seen people do ridiculous things for less money. ] Could be messy, depending on how far people are willing to go.

… Hellish. Okay, I’m gonna need you to elaborate on that.

We got a spread of people around. There's gonna be some reckless idiots who go out without a plan at all.

[Anyway]

Too many teeth. A little on fire. Breathe acid. Flop around enough that they cause tremors. Stuff like that. [Normal fish stuff, you know.]

There always is. Life'd be boring without them

[ he can think of a couple of people, hoenstly. ]

... See, that doesn't sound appealling. I'm gonna be catching a hellfish, frying it and then thinking of the seven rows of teeth it had before I gutted it and removed the poison glands, or whatever.

[ vivid. ]

Edited 2022-09-17 20:04 (UTC)

There are also normal fish, you just have to be lucky with the river.

[He doesn't think it's that weird, its not like a horribly muddy tasting giant fish. Can't believe he had to go and cook that for the northerners that one time.]

I like gambling, but I didn't think it'd be involved in fishing. More than it already is, at least.

[ ... ]

I know a guy who'd probably love fishing up any of those fish. Weirdo.

Welcome to hell.

... A guy from home? [Must have some weird and interesting tastes.]

Literally. Love that.

Mm. Guy from home. He loves fishing -- joined some nationwide society and everything.

Wow. I didn't know that many people were that into fishing.

Some people really are that into fishing. And then he gets everyone else involved too.

You sound like a guy that's been dragged out a couple times.

A few. When you’re travelling it’s not a bad source of food, I know that much at least. Might not have the membership and I might not buy the latest and greatest fishing gear… but I’m not totally hopeless.

Kinda interested to see what you'll pull outta the river.

[Probably something horrific.]

Interested... concerned... one or the other. If I pull up an abomination, I'll shout.

I'll pull you out if I hear you.

... Man if I fall into the hellfish lake, then it might truly be over for me.

Can you swim?

I can swim, but I'd have to live with the knowledge of literally swimming with the hellfish.

I'm sure most of them aren't big enough to swallow you whole.

You never know. The depths of the ocean remain very much unexplored.

(no subject)

perfectdistance - 2022-09-20 21:10 (UTC) - Expand

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