Perm Closed-Only Misc. Catchalls

[heir_conditioned]

Who ⬤ Shoto & Whomever
What ⬤ This is a permanent place for all the stray things
When ⬤ Various Dates
Where ⬤ Various Places
Content Warnings ⬤ There may be mentions of racy things. He is, proudly, a Tamamo. Shoto is also not as sheltered as he was in the series for that and other reasons. If you would like to do closed things that I don't have TLs for, please contact me at tlymphoCytes or by use of PM to this journal and I'll be happy to plot with you.

My tagging speed can vary on what's going on in my real life, or my health. I apologize in advance.

- Trying to juggle setting up these things since ember reached capt. and RL rn. Sorry for any wait.

Comments

[heir_conditioned]

[Yuuji is wrong. Shoto can't handle this kind of situation and isn't sure what to do about it. Morally, he knows he should be helping Mahito, he is the underdog and the one that isn't trying to push two people apart. But would he if he knew it was Yuuji?

Shoto is quiet still. He doesn't want someone to look out for him, he's capable of taking care of himself. He doesn't voice it, he just lets the waiter come with the food he has no interest in which makes him less inclined to be thrilled about that either. Wasting food isn't something he likes to do.

All he can see is yet another situation he's being manipulated into and the last time this happened, that he had to choose one thing over the other he regretted it greatly. This time, it could be detrimental.

Another small moment or two and Shoto speaks up.]

You won't be pulled back.

[He breaks the stoic eye-contact to stare at his food a second.]

Yet you'll always look out for me and I will pull you back, no matter if I "choose" you or him, my involvement in your life will pull you back because you're going to look out for me. Won't it.

[That's not a question, that's a statement. There's no winning this question, one way or another, Yuuji is going to look out for him and he will be the problem. Leaning back, his eyes tick back up, this time the mask is off and he looks crestfallen. His voice is even, not quiet, but not yelling in any sense of the word because he's not sure what he's supposed to do and phoning Izuku right now probably wouldn't even help. He can't even tell Izuku why the choice between saving someone and Yuuji is so hard. He just promised he wouldn't.]

The last time this happened to me, my oldest brother told me I had to stop being a hero and go with him or I'd never know who he was. "Choosing" him over heroism and my family if I wanted to have the chance to be around him. How do you so easily choose between your heart and your duty?

[ahost]

So, you just want me to pretend everything is normal, and it's all good?

[ mahito is not the underdog. yuuji isn't separating two people, and he is certainly not manipulating anyone. how does that make sense when he's being forward and honest with the young hero? it doesn't. and what is this about his brother? hmm.

he leans back against his seat, hands on his knees, and he stares at the other in low lashes. how do you easily choose between your heart and duty? so that nasty spirit is shoto's duty now. is he trying to save him? that's beyond foolish. mahito is not human; he cannot understand sympathy or a change of heart. it was pointless, but shoto knows.

he's just trying to be a hero. ]

If you already decided he is worth saving, then there is no point in this conversation. You made the choice of following 'duty', right? He will hurt you. He will kill you. Just like he killed ...

[ his breath stutters, taking a moment to run his fingers through his hair, squeezing his eyes shut. fuck, he hates everything about tonight. he just wanted to leave right now. fuck this, really. ]

I don't want to lose you. But, I can't ...

[ -do this.

he can't watch him turn into another junpei and (spoilers). he is tired. this city is supposed to be his escape. he's just tired of being so fucking sad all the time. ]

[heir_conditioned]

No.

[Because pretending won't help. He knows that Yuuji is trying to get it through to him, however. It's the only thing he says, it's the only thing that seems right to say while Yuuji is trying to bare his feelings.

Ones that have to do with murders and death as it seems. Something that Shoto hasn't exactly had to deal with first hand aside Bakugo being kidnapped.]

Do this.

[Yes, needless to say what Yuuji means and introspects, but he does because no word should be left unsaid. Including his own.]

My choice to not give up my lifestyle for him cost me my brother entirely. I regret it every day. My inability to act on how I felt has cost me a lot of things. Things I have regret for yet again every day.

[Shoto gets up and slides in next to Yuuji, even if it's only a little.]

I can't look the other way if someone is going to hurt or killed. With that in mind I want to make my choice if you'll hear it out.

[ahost]

[ tired, yuuji sighed heavily— not really sure what else he can say, other than share the entire story behind mahito but that's not something he's willing to do. instead, he ends up watching the other get close to him, following his every step until he joined him in his seat.

shoto is really keen about making a choice, which is fair— but yuuji feels he didn't force him into anything? it was the sorcerer making his own decision by stepping back. it's one way to keep the other safe. ]

... I'm listening.

[ he'll allow him the chance to express himself, as long as he needs it. yuuji will pay attention. ]

[heir_conditioned]

[If Shoto knew much about comfort, he would have used that knowledge, but he was never good at offering comfort. What he knew was that he would've stepped away if Yuuji had given him the slightest look for sitting next to him in a bid to ask him not to leave.]

Listening is all I ask.

[There's a place in his gut that Shoto doesn't like saying what he has to say.]

I feel very strongly for you. You are, first and foremost someone I've let into my daily life, into my home freely. I've never been afraid of you and have only ever been enriched by you being around me. I am going to be a liability no matter what I chose. I will always be in danger because I am a hero and that's what we do. We put ourselves in danger so others don't have to be with the expectation that one day we may not make it out alive and I think you can understand that.

[He wants this all clear.]

But. If I promise not to seek him out specifically, can you accept this compromise for now? If you can, then I think my choice and their reasons are clear.

[ahost]

[ he's really not trying to be an asshole, but— yuuji is not comforted by that compromise at all, and it shows. he shifts his gaze down to his knees, sighing as he takes in those words to heart; giving shoto the respect he deserves by not shutting him out. there's something about this boy and his need to make a choice for himself, and that gives the impression the hero grew up around people dictating his every move.

it's probably why he's not so happy with yuuji's concerns and having someone look out for him.

more silence, yuuji then brings his hands together, watching as his coarse fingers curled with each other. something doesn't feel right; there is a sinking feeling of pure anxiety that promised him something bad is about to happen.

and yet, with another but lighter sigh— he nods, giving up. ]

... fine.

[heir_conditioned]

[One day Yuuji will know all the sordid details, but tonight wasn't that night. Tonight was the night that Shoto sat next to him to emphasize his sincerity and all that came before. Yes, even the selfish want to keep him there unless he showed resistance.

The silence and the hand linking broke a small piece of Shoto's heart. In a bold move, since he wasn't sure if he was allowed to take up more space, he added his right hand to the two that Yuuji had put together, his left sat on the table.

'Fine' wasn't an 'Alright', but it isn't a go fuck yourself either.]

You saved me and I wouldn't take that lightly, Yuuji. I won't throw away your efforts. Whatever Midoriya may say, or think regardless of why, doesn't change my feelings. Very little will and I'll work to see you smile again instead of worry.

[ahost]

[ it started with the gentle touch of shoto's hand, followed by those heartbreaking words 'you saved me' — that's when yuuji shook his head slowly, his expression finally reflecting the harrowing grief of it all, adding a few years into his young features.

oh, how he wished to hear those words from the loved ones he lost. instead he is burdened with his shortcomings even after death, and now it felt like he's about to lose another one. fated to fail again, yuuji will end up standing still and watching it happen to shoto this time; only to have his hands drenched in blood. ]

You don't need to. I'll be fine.

[ tentatively, he curled his fingers with shoto's; squeezing his hand. as the emotions overwhelm him, yuuji released a shaky exhale, then moved closer— gently placing his head on the hero's shoulder. ]