July Catch All

[holeful]

Who ⬤ Fukuda "Snack Hole" Tamotsu and whoever has the misfortune of encountering him
What ⬤ July substories and other semi-open prompts
When ⬤ Throughout the month
Where ⬤ Various
Content Warnings ⬤ General Fukuda Warning


[Office Work- Closed To Enmas]
[Fukuda is a weird guy in so many ways, even moreso now that he's somehow become a dogboy with hole powers, but one of them is his schedule, which doesn't seem to include sleep? He's always running on the late night patrol shift, and then comes in first thing in the morning to file his paperwork when morning shift people come in. Does he sleep during the afternoon? Hard to say but you'll certainly see him out and about in the afternoon as well, so??? He rarely seems tired, outside of the blood rain incident, but you may catch him in any of the following unusual situations;

1. Actually in one of his rare states of tiredness, nodding off at his desk and spilling his coffee onto the floor in the process
2. You open one of the file closets to find Fukuda in a pile of papers and boxes. Is he trying to reorganize or just making things worse?
3. Sniffing things.
4. Entering a room by making a hole in the door rather than opening it. It's awkward for him to clamber through the hole but he keeps doing this anyway.

But usually he is... normal? Normal for him. Always willing to help out if you ask him.]

[Clinic Visit]
[Fukuda's not really a fan of doctors due to his avoidance of being perceived in any way, but he's unfortunately got several concerns and also A Mission to accomplish, so he's going to be stopping by, probably multiple times. After all, there's a lot of things wrong with him. So he's walking in, slightly awkward, and leading with the insane opener of;]

Um, hello, I was hoping to talk to someone about... something?
[Helpful.

Anyway this is for anyone at the clinic, Fukuda has multiple issues so everyone can have their own discreet visit, lmf]

[Terrible House Guest- for Cain/Yuuji/Megumi]
[Now, Fukuda is from the modern era, so he like. Knows about texting. But he also has brain damage and is very excited about his new powers. So for a short while, before he is presumably banned from doing so, Fukuda will show up at these three's apartment, and rather than knock on the door, just makes one of his cool new holes in the wall. Hello, here is the hole man.]

A person on the street was handing out coupons, so who wants to go eat?
[He will take all comers.]

[Wildcard]
[If you'd like a prompt for one of the substories this month, or something else entirely, hit me up!]

Comments

[itstillhurt]

[Everyone is nice here?

Adorable. She restrains the impulse to actually roll her eyes. He's being helpful. He's clearly a gullible fool, but he's being helpful. She carefully forces a polite smile onto her face.

Okay, it's more like a mildly sneering smirk, but at least it's not hostility.]

I would appreciate that, thank you.

[See? She can be polite and professional. Even if it's infuriating.]

[holeful]

[It's funny because Azula isn't entirely wrong, he's easy to push around like a gullible fool would be, but well. The murders. Fukuda nods, and then trots over closer to her, before tapping his foot on the ground, moving over slightly, and then opening a hole in the floor beneath them both. No warning. As they fall to the next floor, Azula may notice the spot he moved from was above an air duct.]

Welcome to the 11th floor!
[They were on the 12th because I said so. He's apparently giving her a moment to catch her bearings before finishing their hole trip to the 10th.]

[itstillhurt]

[Well, the good news is, she's got great reflexes. She lands on her feet in a crouch, then wheels around to glare at him.]

Last time I checked, the elevators also work.

[holeful]

[He laughs!!]

Didn't I already explain? Besides, this is faster!
[HE'S PRACTICING THE NEW POWER THE ENMA GIFTED HIM!! Anyway since Azula seems fine, down the go through another hole. This time, though, he fails to land properly, and falls over as he lands.]

[itstillhurt]

[Your explanation is inadequate and bad, Fukuda. It is both bad and inadequate.

Fortunately, this time she spots the tell of his weight shifting and predicts the sudden drop. She's able to land far more gracefully. She even has time to sidestep him as he flops to the floor past her.

...oh, she... probably should have tried to catch him or something, come to think of it. Oh, well. She holds out a hand to help him up.]

You realize you could just practice that at any time, right?

[holeful]

Sure, but I think ti could be useful to getting around a building quicker! And Mr Enma gave me this power so it seems appropriate to practice at work, since he probably gave it to me to make work easier.

[He will take her hand though. How nice of her. Azula is now one of the members of the Enma he officially thinks is nice.]

Thanks! Ah, I didn't catch your name. I'm Fukuda.

[itstillhurt]

[Fukuda is an excellent judge of character, clearly nothing wrong with this picture.

Fortunately, she doesn't have too much trouble hauling him up for being so compact. Stronger than she looks.]

Of course. Call me Azula.

[Okay, so far he looks odd, he acts even odder, and that scar is distracting for more reasons than the obvious, but he's clearly not a problem at least. As long as he doesn't drop any more floors out from underneath her.]

So, this supply closet of yours?

[holeful]

[She is strong, and he, while very tall, is very skinny so he doesn't weigh much for a guy his size.]

Right! It's this way. And I'd say this one's more of a full room than a closet. It's backup supplies for several floors, after all.
[He sets off on a trot, tail still wagging gently behind him.]

[itstillhurt]

[... Okay so following him is making the tail more distracting than the scar. Which is probably a net positive, but the wagging is just uncomfortable.]

It seems wasteful to have a supply closet for the supply closets. Surely it would be more efficient to simply distribute the supplies as they come in.

[Then again, it also seems foolish to have all these useless ink containers that no longer work. Cartridges. Whatever you call them.

Maybe she just doesn't get modern office logistics.]

[holeful]

Oh, it's normal for a big office building like this! Some things in there are too big to keep in smaller closets, and it helps with inventory to have a sort of "control center" from which they can pull supplies to restock the closets on the other floors. That way you don't have a situation where someone has to go looking through all the different closets, and can better know when to order more supplies for the building.
[Fukuda for once is in his element as he's clearly worked in offices before.]

That is, ideally anyway. Clearly the new ink fell threw the cracks with everything that's been going on.

[itstillhurt]

Clearly.

[That was absurd. A larger storeroom for smaller storerooms? That would need more record-keeping, wouldn't it? Nothing about this makes any sense and she hates it unreasonably. These offices clearly house too many workers.]

Well, as long as there's a system, I suppose.

[holeful]

Yeah! Office buildings can be hard to navigate and maintain when they get this big. I'm guessing this is your first time working in one, miss Azula?

[Since she called them ink cartons.]

[itstillhurt]

Let's just say that where I'm from, government work was more... streamlined.

[This must be what the government of the Earth Kingdom was like. It's the worst.]

It didn't require nearly so much paperwork, for one thing.

[holeful]

Oh, but paperwork is important! I mean, a lot of things can be done digitally now, but sometimes those systems will fail, so having a physical record of business is good for both accountability and reviewing past work to see how it can be improved upon.

[It's exactly like the Earth Kingdom, the Enma would definitely pull a "There is no war in ba sing se"]

[itstillhurt]

I understand the importance of scribes, it's the amount of record-keeping compared to the amount of things that are actually done that makes no sense.

[Whoever's in charge should make the decisions, the scribes should write down the decisions, the decisions should be followed. Simple. Direct. No muss, no fuss, no forms signed in triplicate, what's the problem?]

[holeful]

[Hmm....]

I see. Are you perhaps originally from a more feudalistic society, miss Azula?

[itstillhurt]

[... Oh. Okay. There was a brain in there- don't think about the hole in his head, Azula, don't think about the-

Ah. Right. The word scribe would be seen as archaic now. Silly slip on her part.]

A monarchy. A real one, not the kind where the monarch is answerable to a lot of incompetent bureaucrats and administrators.

[holeful]

[Fukuda and his 150+ IQ: haha.]

Well most modern governments don't put all the power in the hands of one person! It's more fair that way. That's why we need paperwork.
[Politely tells you that your government system sucks. He comes to a stop in front of a door, and this time, actually uses it, for Azula's sake.]

Here it is!

[itstillhurt]

[...Fair. Well, so much for the brain in his- stop thinking about it, Azula. Fairness doesn't run governments, it cripples them and mires them in corruption and incompetence.

But she's not particularly interested in a sociopolitical lecture, so she simply smiles at him- well, it's more of a smirk, but close enough- when he opens the door- the right way- before heading past him into the supply room.]

Thank you. Now, let's see if that ink is hiding in here.

[holeful]

[Fukuda also isn't interested in lecturing further, so it works out great.]

Mm! Since it's new, it shouldn't be too buried, I'd think...
[He starts poking around, and soon enough.]

Ah, here, I think these are it! They're definitely a different cartridge size, at least.
[So hopefully it's not a third useless type.]

[itstillhurt]

[Azula's initial search isn't faring well, and her height isn't helping. For a moment, she's pondering whether simply climbing the shelves to reach the higher levels would be too socially unacceptable. It certainly lacks dignity. This is the sort of thing for which one keeps servants around.

Fortunately, Fukuda finds the ink before she has to worry about it. She peers at the cartridge, then swipes it from his hand with a triumphant smile.]

Perfect, that's it.

[... oh, she should- wait, she already thanked him, um... should she thank him again? Ugh, social encounters are so tedious.]

Good work.

[That... that's a compliment, right?]

[holeful]

[His tail wagging intensifies so he must have received it as one!! Yes, praise him.]

Ah, I guess we have to take the elevator back up. I'll show you how to get to it from here.
[Hole travel is only one way... And Azula isn't rid of this weirdo yet, apparently.]

[itstillhurt]

[That tail is unbelievably distracting, and Azula is not a fan. Still, the elevator certainly sounds preferable to dropping holes under them.

Or putting them on the ceiling and climbing up, which probably was an option for her but she didn't really want to tell him that. The elevator works just fine.]

Are you always this helpful?

[...That actually sounded more accusatory than she meant it to. Well, maybe he won't notice.]

[holeful]

[Ok but is Azula a fan of anything besides violence and power.]

Well, I guess technically not, but as far as working in the office with my coworkers, I try to be! Office work is one of the few areas I have experience in, and a lot of the others don't.
[So he tries his best.]

[itstillhurt]

[Excuse, she's also a big fan of tea, traditional Fire Nation music and theater, being smug, constructing elaborate psychological narratives that protect her from her emotional vulnerabilities, and winning at games. She has many interests, okay.]

Well, I appreciate it. Really.

[... That's not entirely a polite lie, either, even if his everything is mildly upsetting. She was about ready to start setting printer cartridges on fire before he showed up.]