jigokulogs | semi-closed 🔪 the extent of my affections are destroying me

[ Nishitani looks over at Emily, one brow raised before closing in on her once again, leaning in close to her personal space. The offer she makes, the lilt of her lips-- she drives him fucking crazy! He wants to kiss her, to take her over this bar so everyone can see! Fill the void, in her own fucking words. ] Baby, you just needed to ask.

There's a few things I could ask you, but I might as well start simply.

[he's close. too close. but they'll allow it, and when the cry goes up to declare that the result of the gambling was revealed, they reach out too quickly, seizing the man's jaw tightly, enough to dig their nails in for a good grip, as if secured to rip it off if they so pleased. abandoning their cover, something shifts in them, revealing that they simply were wearing the woman's skin like their own personal costume. something altered in the posture, in the confidence, in the carriage, something that wants to loom greater than he can.

it's not about physical strength, or the like. it's the simple, surefooted conviction that permeates their being that if they wanted worse, they could do it, as cool as the shade in the forest, the same as if they wanted to play nice. there's an unnatural green shine in their eyes, and when they open their mouth to speak, it's no longer Emily's voice. instead, it's something more ambiguous, older and with the edge of incense smoke, distant bells. a tone, an accent impossible to place.]

Are you capable of remaining quiet until I say you can speak? Just nod or shake your head, that will be fine.

[ Ah. ]

[ Shit. ]

[ On some level, Nishitani knew that Emily also had a demon in her-- the wings on her back and the blackness staining her skin said as much to him; and Majima directly telling him that she was possessed rings between his ears. This must be... What was their name? Hikari? Shit. ]

[ He wants to play nice with these yokai, have them either see him as useful, useless, or unimportant. They need to never expect him-- so Nishitani lets confusion cross over his face, eyes wide and playing unsure. That's what they'd want to see, right? A sign of victory, superiority. ]

[ Hitachiin? Hibiscus? ]

[ Luckily for him, they want him quiet, so quiet he feigns, nodding to the tengu that grips his jaw tight. ]

[they see that, and a laugh bubbles up, low and dark, though their grip never loosens.]

You needn't play dumb with me, Nishitani. We both know that's not you. I respect a hard working soul, even if they are wearing a hideous tie and smoke cheap tobacco.

[from this angle, even if someone looked over while the betting resumed, it could be brushed off as just something Nishitani invited to happen, particularly since they're smiling - sharp, bitter, an alien thing on Emily's face.]

She didn't want me to meet you, you know. She'd rather be polite about the whole thing, and make nice, and let you swagger about and mark your territory all over before she'd utter a word on her feelings. But...I don't think she needs to know about us getting acquainted. Which we should, if you're to be around so much more.

Now, when I let you go, if you so much as breathe a syllable about your genitals or your lust, I will remove your tongue here and now and grill it with salt. It'd pair well with the sake.

[slowly, slowly, their grip loosens, a perfect study in control, until the hand is merely resting where it is, a ghost on his skin. not gone, though. not giving him permission just yet.]

For now, you may call me Hibiki. That is the only name to which I will respond. I'm afraid I'm unaccustomed to any other title, after using this one for so long.

[in other words, not his baby, not his to nickname. they deal on a frank level, or they do not deal at all. now they let him go, noting with pleasure the red indents that their nails had left in his skin, and then catching the attention of the bartender to bring another cup for the drinks.

they'll pour, knowing exactly what it's supposed to mean about respect. if it's mocking, they dare him to call it out.]

[ Nishitani massages his jaw once Hibiki (that's their name) lets go, running a hand across his cheeks and stretching out his mouth. They've got one hell of a grip on them, and when he'd been called out on his act, the look of deference had melted from his face in a second and was replaced with a neutrality that he'd learnt throughout his time in the yakuza. Give the enemy no opening, and tenuous peace may be kept. ]

[ Alright, so no talking about his dick, or how much he wants Emily to suck his cock or how much he wants to drown himself in her cunt-- fine. No baby names, nothing demeaning, also fine. Majima had warned him about the yokai where he came from. They're crueler than the ones here, meaner, so Nishitani treats them as such. ]

Alright, Hibiki-san. [ The tone he takes during clan meetings, sitting in a leather chair across from so many men he wants dead. ] What do you want to talk about then?

Edited 2022-05-19 18:01 (UTC)

I wanted to meet you. To introduce myself, and to take my own measure of you. That we met tonight was sheer coincidence.

[they offer him the second cup of sake. it's not poisoned or the like - it's the exact same bottle they've been drinking from, so he'll know it's safe to accept.]

How much do you know about those like me?

[ Nishitani takes the cup of sake, sipping it carefully. Even if it's from the same bottle doesn't mean that Hibiki doesn't have something weird that makes them immune from poisons or toxins. That said, he doubts Hibiki would be so bold to poison him in the middle of Shuten territory. ]

Enough. [ And not enough at the same time. He knows they're possessing host bodies like out of old horror stories, maara, that he'd learn about at whatever Buddhist Temple Uncle B had dragged him off to. Only difference is once the maara are satisfied, they're supposed to leave. Nishitani doesn't see these yokai leaving anytime soon. ]

[ For Nishitani, that's enough to know-- enough to form an opinion. ] Though I'm sure you're about to tell me a lot more than that.

[the drink tastes perfectly ordinary, exactly as could be expected, and even waiting brings no after effects. it's as safe as he could wish, it will become obvious.]

I'm sure you haven't been told as much as you'd like to know. Chijoku isn't the most forthcoming, and the young crow is temperamental.

[they laugh again, and this time it's a strange, hoarse sound, as if half breathed from a bird's throat.]

Knowing that, and in the spirit of our new acquaintance, I'll answer questions you have, though I might have a few of my own for you that come to mind.

How do I get rid of you? [ Point blank, and the look in Nishitani's eyes means he's not fucking around, he's not joking and he's not playing. Hibiki promises answers, and Nishitani will take advantage of this however he can. The threat of being interrogated as well barely even registers for Nishitani, so open with his own life story and emotions already that he can't imagine what information he'd have that Hibiki would want. ]

For one thing, I'd need my own body. My form doesn't exist anymore, not in this or another realm, and I am not departing only to vanish into nothingness. For another, you'd need divine intervention, because dealing with souls is a delicate matter, and very easy to have go wrong when they're as melded as we are.

[that's just the truth. if Hakagemachi had been stabilized, restored some, it might have been possible to gain if not their old forms, then new ones. the bodies they have are as much a safe harbor as they are a possession - cohabitation, not oppression. Hibiki's eyes meet his, and they finish the cup they started earlier.]

But the hardest thing of all to obtain would be the consent of her I share with, to get her willingness to come apart. It benefits both of us to stay together, after all. It is not some miserable, parasitic experience that you're envisioning, but a forged partnership. What could you give her to replace what I already do? A proper answer to that, you might have an easier time finding a way to convince Lord Enma to be your best friend.

[it's a task so farfetched it might as well be impossible, and the look on their face says as much.]

Edited 2022-05-21 10:53 (UTC)

[ "Not some miserable, parasitic experience" Hibiki says and Nishitani's fingers tighten around his sake cup, just slightly, and he hides it by taking another sip from his sake. Hibiki might say that, think that, believe that, nothing will change the fact when when Nishitani first saw Chigoku, he realized that the yokai have stilted "partnership," with the yokai containing more power-- more sway than what Hibiki says. Chewing over the information gotten, from Chigoku and Hibiki both, Nishitani puts the pieces together. ]

[ The people don't remember what the yokai does when in their bodies-- and the yokai can take the body. Nishitani doesn't know if there's permission or not, but his money is on "not," considering the tension that had been in Majima's shoulders. ]

I don't know if I could give her anything worth your powers. [ Honest, because Nishitani knows that his powers are human-- and what is capable here often requires more than Nishitani's unique brand of determination. ]

But you clearly think I'm stupid, Hibiki-san. I'm sure Emily-chan wouldn't like to find out you've been joyriding in her body. You have to get permission or are you just rebelling a little?

We have an understanding for moments like this. Besides, she's right here - peacefully asleep, but right here all the same. I could wake her up, if you insisted, and she'd tell you the exact same thing.

[they lift an eyebrow, sharp gaze watching him even closer.]

You're thinking about Majima, aren't you? Looking at me, and seeing him in your mind's eye. Why else would you be so concerned about a woman you barely know?

[ Nishitani doesn't believe Hibiki for a second, but he's not in a position to refute or refuse until he gets more information, so instead he just shrugs-- a nonresponse, passing off a comment made for making a comment later. ]

[ They bring up Majima and Chigoku, and peer into Nishitani's eyes. And like trained, Nishitani doesn't break eye contact, doesn't flinch, doesn't show weakness or emotion. But what strikes him as funny is: ] You're wrong. Em-chan and I have an agreement, an understanding. I'd protect her with my life and not think twice about it.

Why? You'd be throwing your life away. It'd be the height of foolishness.

[disregarding their host's tendency to tend to every injured fool she finds, they can't say she'd do the same for him.]

Because when you're human you do stupid things for the people you cherish. [ Nishitani drinks his sake, smokes his cigarette, and looks impossibly calm given the situation. Death has been his companion for years, first with Sara-onee, then with piles and piles more. Death finding him, finding him twice, doesn't scare him. ] And get this: I think Emikko just might agree with me and not you on this matter.

That, I'm well aware of. It is not confined to the race of humanity to let emotions dictate their actions. I only mean it would be a terrible waste, to die so soon, when you hardly have had any chance to leave your mark and act as you please. But go on, do tell her that. See if she's grateful for such a vow, or if she says exactly what I know she will. I can always help you practice.

[and with a breath, they twist their voice back into Emily's own.]

Mr. Nishitani.

[ Nishitani drinks, because he doesn't care if Emily is grateful-- he was just stating facts. If he dies to save someone, he thinks that would be plenty mark enough. If push came to shove, Nishitani would give up any large, sweeping plans if it meant sparing Majima any grief. ]

[ Nishitani's not selfish enough to think that he could fix Majima's grief if Emily were to die-- so here he is, because he knows Emily would be more equipped to help Majima should anything happen. ]

Emikko. Nice of you to show up.

Remember, this is just pretend, Mr. Nishitani. Don't get terribly excited, as you're wont to do.

[after all, that glimmer in their eyes isn't her. that smile isn't hers, nor the way they hold their body. just the voice. just a small thing to pretend on.]

Now, what was it you wanted to tell me?

[ Nishitani finishes his drink, puts out his cigarette. They're toying with him, playing with him like a rat. Standing up, Nishitani straightens his suit back out and looks over Hibiki where they sit, pretending. ]

Well, sorry to break up your fun, Hibiki. Break time's over.

[as he wishes, then. they shrug, taking money out of their pocket to pay for the drinks and setting it down on the bar.]

Just keep this in mind while you work. You can't save someone who doesn't wish to be saved. Nor can you even begin without the risk of your heart being broken.

[hopping down from the stool, they give him a wave.]

May our next encounter be even more enlightening.

[and like that, they're gone, away into the night.

semi-closed 🔪 the extent of my affections are destroying me

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