[open] a real nightmare

[no_kyouken]

Who ⬤ Majima (Shuten) & Open
What ⬤ May Substories, etc
Content Warnings ⬤ Cross dress, violence, alcohol, probably smut somewhere.

Prompts in comments, wildcard me with anything else you want. You can catch me in the discord or DM me at itsabee#1072. CR meme comment Network post Feel free to double up prompts, I will tag you however many times you want. majima 🎶 goromi 🎶

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[no_kyouken]

Then don't go nowhere.

[ He shrugs. It's a binary choice: either she's in or she's out, they'll respect what she wants either way. If she wants to just fuck Nishitani and pretend like there's nothing else there, more power to her. She just has to tell them that's what she wants; there isn't a mindreader in the bunch. ]

We wanna get along with th'woman our guy is seein'. An' we'll treat ya like family if ya wanna be family.

[ He has another unlit cigarette plucked loose from his deck, twiddling it that way for the moment. ]

Ya could do worse than us. Could probably do better too. Ain't none of us good people, Andy.

[killtime]

[ She wishes he wouldn't use that word. Family. That shit makes her heart ache. Fuck.

It would be easier, if she knew what she wants. Or if she were capable of admitting it to anyone, including herself. And maybe she wasn't ready to confront this today — maybe she never would have been ready — but the fight she's putting up, what's even left of it, is for show at best. A futile effort, because everything she's done up to this point says that there is something here that she wants, even if she's been an ornery bitch about it the whole goddamn time.

Her voice is very quiet, when it finally comes, and half-muffled by her hand where it covers her face, as if she can hardly stand to be seen by another person in that moment. ]

...Of course I want to be family. Of course I do.

[no_kyouken]

[ Wanting it happens to be the only real qualification to joining this family. He tucks the unlit cigarette at his lips, so that it's out of the way as he reaches out to put an arm around her shoulders. ]

Gettin' a big taste of our yakuza bullshit now, huh.

[ Pitched as a joke, even if between himself and Nishitani all this family and bonds shit is all too serious. A lesson in responsibility and obligation to those you swear it to. They don't break their promises. ]

[killtime]

[ It’s almost more than she can take, being touched like that. Being comforted. Would’ve been easier for her by far if he’d fought back even a little, instead of waiting her out like this, disarming her with sentiments like family. It leaves her raw and exposed, her feelings in her fucking throat.

She can’t look at him yet. But there’s a stubborn will in her voice, even when it comes out a muffled mutter. ]

It’s my bullshit too.

[ Hers and theirs. ]

[no_kyouken]

[ It's not a thing to fight about. Not yet, anyway. Losing Makoto and his wife down the road will make him more like Andromache: upset and angry at the sight of real emotional investment. The divorce convinces him he is too toxic to be loved. But then, if he never goes back to Sotenbori, he can never meet Mirei.

Right now he still thinks he might have a chance at deserving a family. He can't be all broken, can he? It's not irreversible, is it? ]

Yeah, we'll take your bullshit too. We all have some.

[ Insecurities and untenable coping mechanisms. Miserable, bloody backstories. They have decided to all stick together any way, in spite of the secrets and broken pieces. ]

[killtime]

[ She still doesn't feel ready. It still feels like more than she knows how to cope with. Some part of her wants to fight this back with everything that she fucking has, even if it means burning every last bridge, hurting everyone she's come to care about — because then there wouldn't be a choice anymore. No uncertainty. No way to go back. But if it's going to be painful anyway — if it's too late, because the feelings are already there — can't she just let herself have this? Can't she just... Try?

It hurts just wanting it. A growing ache in her chest, the longer she dwells on it. ]

...And if I fuck this up? Then what?

[ Finally, she looks up at Majima, something unsteady and emotional in her eyes even though she's stopped raising her voice. ]

It fucking terrifies me. Having something to lose.

[no_kyouken]

[ He is genuinely quiet and contemplative in response, looking at nothing for a moment before his good eye flicks up to hold her gaze. ]

Already lost everythin' once. Ain't doin' it again.

[ And then he straightens up from where he'd draped around her shoulder, lighting his cigarette. This statement should not be a surprise, that eye didn't cut itself out. ]

Don't care what it takes.

[ And he is recklessly certain of that, in a way only young men can be. That's his answer though: don't fuck it up and don't let go. ]

[killtime]

[ She envies that. His determination. How certain his words sound. She'd been determined once too. And so fucking sure of herself. Why wouldn't she be? She was Andromache of Scythia — immortal, invincible, unstoppable. A fucking god of war. Nobody could take what was hers. But then, Noriko had always told her that hubris was one of her vices — and Noriko had always been right. She'd lost everything. Over and over and over again. And she'd been helpless to stop it, every single fucking time.

What good was the immortality anyway, if she couldn't even use it to protect what she loved? What good was she?

And yet, here she is again. Because she's stupid. Because she didn't learn her lesson, no matter how much it hurt. And she has to try and believe that it can be different this time, despite everything — otherwise it'll drive her completely insane. Maybe she won't always be strong — maybe she'll fucking doubt, and maybe the effort will be futile in the end anyway, but... Fuck it. She can fight. She will. Tooth and nail. And somehow, something in Majima's voice makes her trust that she won't be fighting alone. That's something, isn't it? ]

...Okay. [ Finally, quietly. ] Then I'm with you. For whatever the fuck that's worth.

[no_kyouken]

[ Sometimes, at the bottom of the world, your promises are the only thing you have of any worth. That's a little much for him to say out loud though, he's been about as emotionally competent today as he's going to be. ]

Cheers, then.

[ He won't even rub it in her face what a big fucking snit she threw about it. What a nice guy. ]

[killtime]

[ Any more emotional competence from him today, and it might actually kill her, so it's probably just as well. There's a tangible relief in her posture when he seems willing to leave it at that, her shoulders relaxing as she takes another swig of the whisky before setting it back on the counter and nudging it Majima's way. ]

Fucking cheers, you bastard. [ He deserves a little name-calling, she thinks, for busting her balls like this to begin with — but the insult doesn't have any bite behind it, and she does appreciate that, at the very least, he brought alcohol to help soothe her pride afterward. ] Hope you don't regret this shit later.