I'm just happy to he bere [CLOSED]

[heretic_blade]

Who ⬤ Okada Izō, Sakamoto Ryouma, and Hizen Tadahiro
What ⬤ Three Tosa boys celebrating their promotions the Tosa way
When ⬤ Early May
Where ⬤ One of the many bars in Sutoku territory
Content Warnings ⬤ Three drunk idiots




[ Going to drink in Sutoku territory felt ... off, as off as the initial invitation from Ryouma felt. At least he's not going alone, but even Hizen coming along felt suspicious. Ryouma's up to something, isn't he? Sutoku territory guaranteed the drinks would be cheaper than anywhere else, at least, so they have that going for them.

Izō hesitates for a moment before opening the door to the fairly nondescript bar. He motions for Hizen to go ahead of him. ]

Here goes nothin', I guess...I give it two drinks before one of us wants t' punch him.

[ And that's being generous. ]

Comments

[kaientai]

Well, it can't be helped! I missed the in-between time whenever that happened...

[ he's still laughing so this is a fact that doesn't really bother him. what is time anyway? ]

Eh?

[ this is when he notices hizen leaning closer and he thinks he's supposed to be leaning closer as well. is hizen going to tell him a secret? this just means he leans almost directly into the forehead flick himself. ]

Aw, how's it stupid? It's nothin' I never did before! I'm a perfectly legitimate businessman!

[ he is being completely overdramatic for effect and it shows. ]

[heretic_blade]

Perfectly legitimate, my ass!

[ Izō barks a laugh and claps Hizen on the back. Yes, he's proud of his sword boy for being mean to Ryouma. Probably not a Hizen-approved way of showing it, but so what? ]

Yer jus' pullin' shady shit like ya always did!

[harimaya]

(Way to make it easy, Ryouma... before he can even enjoy his act of violence, he's hit on the back though and he fumbles forward just slightly, planting his hand on the table and spilling his sake just a little as it splashes from the sudden movement.

He hisses out of reflex but he looks between Izo and Ryouma because unlike Hizen who is familiar with a different version of these two, these are are actually familiar with each other.

Picking up his shot, drinking it and just nodding in agreement because if Izo says it then it must be true. It's two against one at this meeting which doesn't really seem fair but! Life! Isn't! Fair!)

[kaientai]

Mmm... and so what if I am? At the end of the day, I know what I'm workin' for.

[ whiny as ryouma was a minute ago for effect, he can declare this proudly. try harder!! ]

What's the problem with shady anyway? Is it about bein' sneaky? If I'm out-sneakin' ya maybe y'oughta try harder.

[ step your game up mr. assassin-class servant. a playful jab that could get him smacked by either one of them. it's fine. all in good fun! ]

[heretic_blade]

[ It's nice to have someone back him up against Ryouma! Izō doesn't even mind that Hizen hissed at him -- only fair since he almost made Hizen spill his booze. He's lucky Hizen didn't take a swing at him, too for that.

He slaps Ryouma's chest with the back of his hand. ]

It ain't nothin' like that! Ya couldn't out-sneak me if ya fuckin' tried, Ryouma!

[harimaya]

You ain't out-sneaking no one! (Gradually, little by little, his own accent begins to match the others. Not as strong but just as natural,) You're about as sneaky as a sumo wrestler.

(To them, at least. Dang, Ryouma didn't even have to do anything before they knew he was up to something. They probably knew before he even knew, to be honest.

He also pulls Izo back, away from Ryouma. There's a good yank on the back of his clothes and he scolds,)

Oi, settle down. (And shoving another drink right at him,) 'S too early for that.

(Enjoy the drinks a little more before we go shoving Ryouma around wow. They're all sharing the same brain cell and Hizen is trying(?) to be? Responsible? Still.)

[kaientai]

Yeah? Y' know I used t' know a few. Taught me a few moves once.

[ he has no idea what the state of the drinks are right now but if hizen needs his drink topped off ryouma sees to it while he pours another for himself. ]

Anyway, the only reason I can tease ya 'bout that is 'cause I know I can't compare t' either of ya for real.

[heretic_blade]

'Ey, cut it out!

[ Izō swats at Hizen, but it's mostly just a reaction to getting yanked back. Any real annoyance gets smoothed down quickly with a fresh drink. Yes, this is perfect. ]

Yeah, ya sure can't. Either of us'd kick yer ass anytime. Ain't that right?

[harimaya]

(More drinks for everyone!!

He'd snap at Ryouma again but Izo is swatting at him so he just swats right back. God, are they talking about fighting now because--)

If he's using Mutsunokami, I'll kick both of their asses.

(Okay, they're actually pretty evenly matched back home with their own strengths and weaknesses but the thing Hizen has over Mutsunokami is his absolute willingness to relentlessly beat Mutsunokami into the ground whereas Mutsunokami is quick to call it quits before it gets too serious.)

[kaientai]

Ohhh! That guy!

[ ryouma is leaning almost entirely over the table at this point. when did that happen? plus, he's gotten distracted from the talk of who-can-kick-whose-ass with the other thing. regardless, he's right here. ]

He never tells me nothin' 'bout that guy!

[ he's saying this to izō for some reason. help. ]

[heretic_blade]

[ Has Hizen unintentionally started a slap fight with Izō? Yes, because Izō swats him right back. ]

Don't try an' get me t' help ya! I ain't on yer side. Maybe he'd tell ya more if ya weren't so shady!

[ Yes, he's dragging that back out. ]

[harimaya]

(And he slaps right back again! It sure is a slap fight except now Ryouma's leaning across the table in his personal space so Hizen swats at him too! )

Just go look in a mirror!

(If Hizen is like Izo, it makes complete sense for Mutsunokami to be like Ryouma,)

Both of ya do stupid shit without thinking about others.

[kaientai]

Really? But y' don't look anything like Izō.

[ he clearly isn't thinking and takes it literally.

he's also not going to dodge hizen now any more than he dodged when izō cut him once before — which is to say: not at all — but also swats right back at him because this is a stupid, harmless game!! ]

Besides, I think about other people all the time! That's all I think about!

[heretic_blade]

[ Is Izō going to smack Ryouma for hitting back at Hizen? Yes. This is a three-way, extremely stupid slap fight. ]

An' that's part'a th' problem! Ya do shit for people an' they don't even want it!

[harimaya]

(Why are they all slapping each other who started this??? He swats at Ryouma, bumps hands with Izo, and whacks at him too because he'll fight everyone equally.

Like a true gremlin though, he's half-standing when he leans over across teh table to put a hand right on Ryouma's forehead and mess up his hair. Yeah, yeah... if he forces the part this way and pushes back on this side he might look a little like this? He stares, eyes a little unfocused, brows knit close together, and hmmmmms for a long time. Instead of saying something, he just presses on Ryouma's head, pushing him back and settles back down again, grabbing another drink. Refills all around!!!)

Let's say...

(He groans, trying to put what he wants to say together,)

We're out in the mountains and a bear comes out. Y'know, real big and angry and everything. Ya can't go back 'cause there's a big ol' river but ya can't go ahead 'cause the bear's not letting ya go.

(Elbow on the table, sake cup in hand, pointing at Ryouma and Izo.)

How d'ya go?

(Is this a stupid question? Hell yeah it is but he's dead ass serious asking about it okay.)

[kaientai]

[ ryouma sits through this and lets hizen do whatever he's doing, occasionally bringing his cup to his mouth to keep sipping the drink while he does. other than that he holds still. it's like... being close to a deer or something. hizen is touching him and it's not to hit him?? it's like he's worried hizen will wake up and smack him if he breathes too loud.

his shoulders visibly droop when hizen sits back down again and he can relax. what was that about??? ]

Huh? Er... well, y' ain't s'posed to run from bears anyway, right? And bears can be perfectly reasonable same as people...

[ he folds his arms and thinks about this. ]

I bet I'm not the one she's angry at anyway. I bet all I did was scare her! So I'd apologise so she'd know I don't mean her any harm and we'd go on our way, I guess?

[ in his defence, it's worked on dogs and oryou decided not to eat him because he's like this so a bear is nothing! ]

[heretic_blade]

[ Izō sits and waits his turn, though he looks more and more agitated as Ryouma gives his answer. He smacks Ryouma in the forehead with the heel of his palm as he leans in to yell at him properly. ]

Dumbass! It's a fuckin' bear! Ya can't reason with it!!

[ He huffs. ]

I'd play dead!! If that don't work, then I'd kill it. Still got my sword, right?

1/3

[harimaya]

(Ryouma is explaining... Ryouma is answering........)

[harimaya]

(HE DOWNS HIS SHOT OF SAKE AND YEETS THE CUP RIGHT AT RYOUMA.)

Stop trying to negotiate with the damned bear!

(Because this is exactly what Mutsunokami would do. Its exactly what he did. It worked? BUT THE FACT THAT IT IS THE SAME ANSWER.)

[harimaya]

(AND HE POINTS AT IZO,)

That's what you're s'posed to do! Like an ordinary person!

[kaientai]

[ ryouma's lucky he has a thick skull or this would be bad. it still hurts!! he just rubs gently at the spot on his forehead where izō smacked him. ]

Aw, who says ya can't reason with the bear? Bears are real smart! Maybe the bear jus' wants my food. I can always buy more food and bears aren't interested in eating money anyway. See how that works out?

[ he'll never be talked out of this. ]

Plus, I'm the one who doesn't belong up there in the mountains. Doesn't seem right to go killin' bears on their own turf.

[heretic_blade]

[ Izō barks a laugh when Hizen throws his cup and pats him on the shoulder. ]

Hah, ya got good aim!

[ And now it's time to yell more at Ryouma. ]

So what yer sayin' is yer gonna get eaten by a fuckin' bear if yer ever stuck in th' woods.

[harimaya]

It's a bear!

(He's losing his mind like has Ryouma forgotten it's a wild animal and not a reasonable human!!!)

D'ya speak bear? Say something right now! How d'ya expect to bargain with a bear if neither of ya speak the same language?!

[kaientai]

Nah. It ain't about the words. It's a feelin'.

[ chalk him sounding this coherent up to a lot of experience having meetings drunk. ]

Animals have a better sense of this stuff than humans do. It's not about bargainin' it's—... well, this is all the borin' stuff ya learn about sword fightin' that neither of ya need. It just comes natural, right? Bein' able t' look at somethin' and get a read on a person. Rest of us gotta learn that. That's how the bear will know I'm not a threat I'm just passin' through. Besides, I can always defend myself if I need to it's jus' ain't my first choice.

[ he empties another cup and laughs because rubbing two brain cells together for those thoughts was a lot and he's done with it now. ]

People used t' come after me all the time for this an' that but why d'ya think I hardly ever had t' fight any of 'em, huh? Luck?! I'll make my own!

[heretic_blade]

[ This man is so annoying!! Izō smacks him on the shoulder. ]

Ya talk too much!! People ain't bears! Ya can't reason with a fuckin' bear like ya can a person! What th' fuck is wrong with ya?!