ᴀssᴀssɪɴ (岡田以蔵 | Okada Izō) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
heretic_blade) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
jigokulogs2022-05-04 10:19 pm
heretic_blade) wrote in jigokulogs2022-05-04 10:19 pm
Entry tags:
I'm just happy to he bere [CLOSED]
Who ⬤ Okada Izō, Sakamoto Ryouma, and Hizen Tadahiro
What ⬤ Three Tosa boys celebrating their promotions the Tosa way
When ⬤ Early May
Where ⬤ One of the many bars in Sutoku territory
Content Warnings ⬤ Three drunk idiots
[ Going to drink in Sutoku territory felt ... off, as off as the initial invitation from Ryouma felt. At least he's not going alone, but even Hizen coming along felt suspicious. Ryouma's up to something, isn't he? Sutoku territory guaranteed the drinks would be cheaper than anywhere else, at least, so they have that going for them.
Izō hesitates for a moment before opening the door to the fairly nondescript bar. He motions for Hizen to go ahead of him. ]
Here goes nothin', I guess...I give it two drinks before one of us wants t' punch him.
[ And that's being generous. ]
What ⬤ Three Tosa boys celebrating their promotions the Tosa way
When ⬤ Early May
Where ⬤ One of the many bars in Sutoku territory
Content Warnings ⬤ Three drunk idiots
[ Going to drink in Sutoku territory felt ... off, as off as the initial invitation from Ryouma felt. At least he's not going alone, but even Hizen coming along felt suspicious. Ryouma's up to something, isn't he? Sutoku territory guaranteed the drinks would be cheaper than anywhere else, at least, so they have that going for them.
Izō hesitates for a moment before opening the door to the fairly nondescript bar. He motions for Hizen to go ahead of him. ]
Here goes nothin', I guess...I give it two drinks before one of us wants t' punch him.
[ And that's being generous. ]
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[ he clearly isn't thinking and takes it literally.
he's also not going to dodge hizen now any more than he dodged when izō cut him once before — which is to say: not at all — but also swats right back at him because this is a stupid, harmless game!! ]
Besides, I think about other people all the time! That's all I think about!
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An' that's part'a th' problem! Ya do shit for people an' they don't even want it!
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Like a true gremlin though, he's half-standing when he leans over across teh table to put a hand right on Ryouma's forehead and mess up his hair. Yeah, yeah... if he forces the part this way and pushes back on this side he might look a little like this? He stares, eyes a little unfocused, brows knit close together, and hmmmmms for a long time. Instead of saying something, he just presses on Ryouma's head, pushing him back and settles back down again, grabbing another drink. Refills all around!!!)
Let's say...
(He groans, trying to put what he wants to say together,)
We're out in the mountains and a bear comes out. Y'know, real big and angry and everything. Ya can't go back 'cause there's a big ol' river but ya can't go ahead 'cause the bear's not letting ya go.
(Elbow on the table, sake cup in hand, pointing at Ryouma and Izo.)
How d'ya go?
(Is this a stupid question? Hell yeah it is but he's dead ass serious asking about it okay.)
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his shoulders visibly droop when hizen sits back down again and he can relax. what was that about??? ]
Huh? Er... well, y' ain't s'posed to run from bears anyway, right? And bears can be perfectly reasonable same as people...
[ he folds his arms and thinks about this. ]
I bet I'm not the one she's angry at anyway. I bet all I did was scare her! So I'd apologise so she'd know I don't mean her any harm and we'd go on our way, I guess?
[ in his defence, it's worked on dogs and oryou decided not to eat him because he's like this so a bear is nothing! ]
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Dumbass! It's a fuckin' bear! Ya can't reason with it!!
[ He huffs. ]
I'd play dead!! If that don't work, then I'd kill it. Still got my sword, right?
1/3
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Stop trying to negotiate with the damned bear!
(Because this is exactly what Mutsunokami would do. Its exactly what he did. It worked? BUT THE FACT THAT IT IS THE SAME ANSWER.)
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That's what you're s'posed to do! Like an ordinary person!
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Aw, who says ya can't reason with the bear? Bears are real smart! Maybe the bear jus' wants my food. I can always buy more food and bears aren't interested in eating money anyway. See how that works out?
[ he'll never be talked out of this. ]
Plus, I'm the one who doesn't belong up there in the mountains. Doesn't seem right to go killin' bears on their own turf.
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Hah, ya got good aim!
[ And now it's time to yell more at Ryouma. ]
So what yer sayin' is yer gonna get eaten by a fuckin' bear if yer ever stuck in th' woods.
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(He's losing his mind like has Ryouma forgotten it's a wild animal and not a reasonable human!!!)
D'ya speak bear? Say something right now! How d'ya expect to bargain with a bear if neither of ya speak the same language?!
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[ chalk him sounding this coherent up to a lot of experience having meetings drunk. ]
Animals have a better sense of this stuff than humans do. It's not about bargainin' it's—... well, this is all the borin' stuff ya learn about sword fightin' that neither of ya need. It just comes natural, right? Bein' able t' look at somethin' and get a read on a person. Rest of us gotta learn that. That's how the bear will know I'm not a threat I'm just passin' through. Besides, I can always defend myself if I need to it's jus' ain't my first choice.
[ he empties another cup and laughs because rubbing two brain cells together for those thoughts was a lot and he's done with it now. ]
People used t' come after me all the time for this an' that but why d'ya think I hardly ever had t' fight any of 'em, huh? Luck?! I'll make my own!
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Ya talk too much!! People ain't bears! Ya can't reason with a fuckin' bear like ya can a person! What th' fuck is wrong with ya?!
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Mumbling into his stolen cup, his accent heavy as if he's dialing it up to mimic someone,)
"We're both living creatures. We can communicate with our hearts."
...
Gaaah!
(And he finishes it. Slamming it down on the table,)
'S like talkin' to a clone! Are ya really from Tosa?! Or Higo!?
(Higo... where modern day Kumamoto is. Because clearly if we're talking to bears, we must be speaking bear-prefecture dialect.)
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[ he looks so proud of himself. the protests (and physical violence) from the others have diminished this not at all. ]
I'm not reasonin' with bears, Izō! We jus' understand each other!
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Yer fuckin' insufferable!! I'm gonna make ya shut up if it's th' last thing I do!
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Both of ya are noisy! Keep talkin' and I'm gonna drink everything myself!
(He's claimed Ryouma's cup for himself. There's probably like, an extra on the table or something. We can forget the one Hizen threw earlier. He's very serious? He'll drink everything.)
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[ who is he talking to? both? both! ]
Ya asked the question an' I answered it! Why ya gettin' all worked up when there's still drinkin' to do?
[ ryouma looks around and then reaches over and grabs an empty cup off an adjacent, unused table. problem solved! ]
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[ Now at least he's yelling and swatting at Hizen...for the moment before he goes back to yelling at Ryouma. ]
Because ya answered it in th' stupidest fuckin' way possible!! That's why I'm gettin' worked up!!
[ Someone should collect the brain cell and get the idea to leave before they're asked to leave. ]
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I'll do whatever I wanna do.
(He is definitely drunk if he is running his mouth at Izo now? He swats back! And while Izo is busy with Ryouma, he's going to slip between them to go for Izo's drink just to prove he can. )
Yeah, what he said.
(Agreeing with Izo while committing crimes.)