So I wouldn't face too harsh a judgment from you if I decide to start my journey with decaf. That's what I'm hearing.

[they don't know how seriously they plan on taking this quite yet, but honestly, it couldn't hurt too badly. the worst that happens is that they're out the price of a cup of coffee. and years of humanitarian PSAs have taught them that that's really not that much money at all!]

All right, then. As soon as I'm finished here, I'll find an actual café and get something good. Hold me to that, if you'd like. Perhaps you'll make an expert out of this untrained tongue after all.