jigokulogs | closed 🐇 September catch-all

[ It's definitely a new experience to be told what was troubling the other person when he asks. Megumi gives Akira his full attention, his phone and the coffee can on his lap untouched. He processes what he's being told, and takes a few seconds before he decides on an answer. In most situations, when there is nothing he can really do to help, he tends to fall back on his usual way of coping, which is to encouraging some sort of distraction, usually with increased work. It's not the best way to deal with things, but it's really all he knows. In this situation, he does actually have an answer, even if he isn't sure how much it will help. ]

It's very likely that time works differently here. You might not find you've missed much at all.

[ Not that Akira's situation is something anyone would be raving to return to, even if the urgency and concern is completely justified. Noting that underlying stress and guilt, Megumi doesn't really know how to respond, given that he's not very good with his words. He reaches out and gives his friend a few soft pats on his fluffy hair, looking over him from where he's sitting. His gaze is soft but a bit uncertain, like he's trying, but knows he isn't good at this. ]

It's not your fault you ended up here.

_{[ Akira’s hair feels coarse and thick. He pauses his crunching when he feels the positive contact, not sure what to make of it. If his tail has been out, it probably would be wagging. Apart of him wants to protest it, but another part of him likes it.. so he allows it for now.

What Megumi says makes his brows pull together in both concern and stubbornness. He didn’t want to admit to him that he failed, but it was the truth. ]}

No. It is my fault. I was battling a strong demon named Sirene. She had cut off my entire arm and punctured a hole through my body. Everything was getting dark.. I know I had to have died. If I had fought better, this would not have happened.

That’s why I cannot forgive myself. If humanity is jeopardized because of my weakness, I don’t know how I can live with that.

[ So he does remember dying. At the mention of those injuries, Megumi's gaze travels to his arms, and then to his chest, both of which is (thankfully) intact. The thought of Akira being in that situation, the pain he had to have endured, causes a pang in his chest, like empathy and concern. If such a thing happened here, it would probably make him fret, that protective instinct he has towards his friends setting in quickly. He really has come to care for the other boy so easily and so quickly. It's because he can sense that kindness radiate off of him.

Megumi doubts there's anything he can really do in this situation to change things for Akira. He doubts he'll even be able to make him feel better, given how poor he tends to be in these situations. ]

If that's how it is ... all you can do is focus on becoming stronger.

[ The hand on his hair travels to his shoulder now, resting there like he's trying to provide some sort of company. ]

The contracts are real, so you still have a chance to save your world. [ He has proof that they're real, anyway, having had one part of his granted already. ]

I will.. and I will focus on my contract and leaving here. People back home need me, but..

_{[ Akira has his hands curled into fists, resting on his knees. He remembers the horrible death his parents faced at the hands of a demon and how Jinmen made him witness it— witness seeing his mother being torn into pieces, her blood and entrails splattering on the ground right before him as her body twisted in half like a popsicle stick. At that time, he had no idea that demons were awakening and wreaking havoc on the Earth. What he saw was a vision of the past that Jinmen showed him. He remembers losing his temper followed by crying in the dark tunnels underneath the ground where he fought Jinmen. The memory makes his blood boil— a lot quicker than when he was purely a human. His teeth and fangs bare and he suddenly stands up. The aura he radiates is like a light switch flipped without warning considering how soft he was just moments prior.

Akira couldn't help it. He became so temperamental— so heated so much easier and had also become a lot more wild and untamed ever since Amon merged with him. Megumi might feel a sense of threat coming from him.. but the threatening feeling wasn't directed at Megumi. ]}

I can't just waste time. It could be too late.. something could happen.. someone I could die.. someone could die again...

_{[ Oh, he's getting out of breath and his hands are shaking. He knows this feeling. He's about to have a tantrum, which can sometimes get violent and dangerous. ]}

I'm.. I gotta go out, I'm sorry, Megumi.

_{[ He's going to turn tail and head for the door unless the other boy stops him. ]}

Edited 2022-09-18 03:08 (UTC)

[ He doesn't blame him for the reaction, given that it's a difficult topic and the circumstances Akira seems to be dealing with must be nothing short of traumatic. He doesn't know what had brought on this sudden bought of rage, the hairs on the boy's body standing as the aura around him darkens and he pulls away from Megumi abruptly. There's an edge there, like a firecracker about to explode, and Megumi can tell just from looking at him that he's close to losing it. He wonders if he should stop him or not, his hand briefly reaching out for the other boy as he stands up, but Megumi eventually withdraws it, sighing as he rests his hand on his lap. What can he even say or do in this situation? He's never been good at managing situations such as these. He might even make things worse, or make it difficult for Akira to find a proper outlet for his anger and grief just by being there.

So, he watches the boy leave, concern laden in his face but not quite doing anything to act on it. ]

Make sure you come back. [ Even if he can't help him feel better or make the situation any more bearable, he can offer him a place to come back to when he's calmed down - somewhere he can kick back and rest his tired head after he's let that anger out. There's worry that Megumi has also. There's a part of him that wants to follow so he can stop Akira from doing anything reckless, but there's another part of him that thinks Akira would probably prefer to be alone. If he doesn't hear from him in a few hours, he'll go find him. ]

I'll wait here for you.

_{[ As Megumi is talking, Akira is disrobing, knowing damn well he’s going to transform at some point and release some of that pent up anger that he apparently didn’t completely get out when he first arrived here. His shirt gets discarded on the floor, followed by his tail popping out from over his waist band as he pulls his pants off, already shifting his lower half. The door opens and he says nothing, slamming it behind him.

What Megumi says doesn’t go unheard, though. It’s nice to have someone wait for him, but he doesn’t believe that Megumi was telling the truth.

A few hours do go by but eventually he does come back home— damp with blood and sweat. Traces of sand decorate his pelt when he walks in the door weakly, shutting the door behind him. As he walks in and toward the kitchen sink, he leaves little paw pad shaped foot prints behind. If Megumi is still present, he hasn’t acknowledged him as he starts to rinse himself off in the kitchen. ]}

[ Megumi did say he would wait for him, so he does, resting on the couch with a book until he eventually starts to doze off. Akira will return to Megumi lying his head and elbow against the armrest of the couch, curling up against the corner of the couch and having a snooze. He rouses when he hears the door creak open and the sound of the tap turning on. Though he hasn't registered who it is yet, he rubs his eyes, giving them his sleepy greeting. ]

Welcome ... back. [ Yuuji? Akira? His mind are still groggy, his eyes barely staying open. ]

_{[ Akira looks up from the tap when he hears Megumi and blinks a few times, feeling a sense of appreciation for the younger boy for staying up like he promised. Akira doesn’t say anything, though, feeling the corners of his lips upturn in a soft smile.

He’s glad he knows where the wastelands are.. there’s plenty of rock formations to smash and monsters to kill.

He dampens a rag and works on removing more blood from his body, most of it youkai blood, but keeps oddly silent as he does this, not even responding to Megumi as that brief smile disappears. ]}

[ It's odd that his greeting was met with no response. Yuuji and Akira usually say something energetic right back. It's that thought that rouses him more, and Megumi gives a stretch, his vision focusing enough for him to make out who he's talking to now.

He can see the blood Akira seems to be wiping off of himself. This isn't too surprising. ]

The wastelands?

_{[ He could just hop on the shower, but that is going to take more time.. so once he feels like he’s got all the wet blood off of him, he makes his way back over to the couch, instantly lying down with his head on the opposite end of where Megumi is sitting. Megumi will have the delight of having him prop his furry legs and feet on his lap, though. He shifts instantly, turning his body and face into the back cushions. ]}

… I feel like it’s the only place I can go to really let my temper out. I’m a monster, so it’s fitting I go away to a place like that.

[ There's some mild surprise at having legs propped onto his lap. On another day he might feel halfway between fascinated and annoyed at the gesture. Right now, his entire focus is instead of Akira and what he's chosen to share with Megumi. With nowhere else to put his hands, he eventually rests them on those furry legs, the book also on his lap. ]

What you do matters more than what you are. [ To Megumi, anyway. He's more more focused on personality and past deeds when it comes to judging others. Going into the Wastelands is dangerous, and for that reason he's worried about what future tantrum trips might hold, but he knows Akira is strong. ]

You're tired, right? Sleep.

_{[ That is the message Akira was trying to convey before he ended up here. With demons surfacing on the Earth, there were humans beginning to rally and hunt demons. Of course, that is what he and Ryo were doing in their own way, but with Akira basically being what humans feared, he had to be careful with what information he shared back home. He could be hunted or put other people he loves in danger. Hearing Megumi say this visibly makes his muscles relax. He’s amazed at how both he and Yuuji have accepted him without fear. ]}

It is hard to sleep sometimes.. I have visions and nightmares from memories the demon that melded with me had. In a way, I’m glimpsing into his world and his past.. so I don’t always sleep well.

_{[ His eyes close anyway and he exhales, trying to relax further now that he’s depleted so much energy. ]}

I was never told I would have to deal with this.. or other traits and instincts that are disturbing.

[ Akira did mention he and his friend made the plan for Akira to merge with a demon, and that his friend did a lot of research prior to the merger. These are all small little details within their first conversation that would typically be lost to memory, but Megumi has a near-flawless memory. He's curious, now, why Akira was never warned about all these effects - the dreams and associated instincts. Surely a change as huge as a constant desire to kill and eat would be worth mentioning to him before letting him make that choice. He has some questions about this friend of Akira's, but at the same time, Megumi can also understand why that information would be withheld, if the end goal was for Akira to gain the power to protect humanity. It's not a conversation for right now. It's late, and the other boy has already experienced a whirlwind of emotions. Now is the time for sleep.

In regard to these dreams, he doesn't know if there's anything he can really do to help, given that it's all out of their control. It's here that Megumi's met with a glimpse of an old memory, however. The image of his sister, holding his small hand and consoling him when a particular nightmare would scare him, even if he always refused to admit when he felt scared. ]

I'm a light sleeper. If the nightmares bother you, you can knock on our door. [ He doubts Yuuji would mind the mild disturbance either. Not if it's to console their friend. ]

_{[ He doesn't mind keeping his legs propped on Megumi and neither does he mind if the other boy continues to keep his hands on him. It's kind of soothing, in a way. He's never slept with someone else around him like this before. Miki wanted to sleep in his bed one night, but he was nervous her father would get angry to see them in bed together, so he rejected her invitation.

He has a feeling he would have slept better without a nightmare with her around.

Someting about what Megumi says is embarrassing, though, and Akira sputters slightly. ]}

That's.. embarrassing. Running to you because of a nightmare.. I'm not a child, Megumi.. but..

_{[ He exhales again, allowing his tense muscles to sink into the couch further. ]}

What I dream about sometimes haunts me. Maybe being around others would help me sleep better. I don't know. I've never tried.

closed 🐇 September catch-all

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cw: gore mention

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