jigokulogs | want a moment to be real [CLOSED]

Entry tags:

want a moment to be real [CLOSED]

Who ⬤ Cloud Strife and various
What ⬤ Misc. Thread catch-all for July!
When ⬤ All throughout the month
Where ⬤ Sutoku Territory, primarily.
Content Warnings ⬤ One of these threads has Sephiroth, so all the messy things that come with his obsession with Cloud. Update: The Sephiroth thread also includes spoilers for the original FF7.

[ If you'd like a closed starter, let me know on Discord or on my Plurk at

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[ It was a little funny, how he'd got roped into this. ]

[ When he initially had thought about helping Izuku with training, it wasn't with the thought that he might also be putting that into practice throughout the Sutoku faction for Ryouma. It had been a good idea, and he'd agreed it'd been a good idea, but a teacher isn't something he would call himself. Not really. ]

[ It's something to preoccupy his thoughts as he waits for Izuku, having sent him the location they were going to meet at. Sutoku didn't have much in the way of gymnasiums - most of them fell under the Shuten's wing of the city. But what it did have was a larger-than-average theater with a nice, open stage and plenty of props to work with.

It'll do. It might be somewhere he thinks of putting work in to spruce up later. ]

[ He's put himself in his SOLDIER outfit for this - he knows Izuku is tough, and this is about making sure he's comfortable with his Quirk, and how best to use it. He's already starting to get used to the idea it's his 'serious' outfit, only brought out when he should be on official business. ]

Edited 2022-07-23 22:23 (UTC)

[ Kim's a common sight in the Sutoku garage - the Kineema is a vehicle like no other, and his fondness for it is, while possibly not common knowledge, also not entirely uncommon, either. The Kineema gets a lot of love from him, so it's not surprising to find him there. ]

[ What is surprising is that starting today, it has company. A beast of a machine - two wheels, a bolted front plate over the first, massive twin exhaust pipes on either side, that come out just under the seat, an aesthetic that is all heavy plating and brushed steel. ]

[ The distinction between it and the Kineema is, in some words, comical - two extremes within sight of each other. ]

[ Should Kim investigate this absolutely monstrous motorcycle, he'll find a familiar face - though not one he may have expected. Cloud's not a car guy exactly, but he's got enough know-how to be able to do basic maintenance, if nothing else, and it seems he's making sure to do his due diligence in making sure the Hardy-Daytona is ready for the streets. ]

[ As a continuation of this Ember thread ]

[ Cloud had been getting impatient. ]

[ In the narrow alley that overlooked the back entrance of the Final Round Arcade - one of many such arcades in Sutoku territory, Cloud's foot tapped as he folded his arms - the gesture more to keep him from fidgeting in that way instead. ]

[ He wasn't planning to show any weakness to Sephiroth. But the threat of information lingered over his head, like an executioner's blade. How did he know what he knew? What did he know? To say he had felt there was something different about Sephiroth, even from the jump, wouldn't be amiss. But now forced to think on it - the difference in knowledge, the gap. Something felt very, very wrong. ]

[ And you... you're wrong. ]

[ There was something going on. And he needed to know. But now he was at the mercy of the man showing himself. Putting himself practically on a silver platter for Sephiroth to torment him even more. ]

[ Stupid idea, Cloud. Stupid, stupid, stupid. ]

[Izuku is incredibly grateful for the help from Cloud. Initially, he'd been so worried that this might be a bad idea considering Cloud's current condition. But the man seemed to think that he'd be well enough for this and Izuku has no reason not to take his word for it. He's just thankful for the help since he knows he can't ask Fumikage or Shoto about this. And not Katsuki as it stands right now, either.

The theatre is a choice but Izuku doesn't mind. He running just a little bit late as he jogs up into the theatre to make up for the lost minutes.]

Cloud-san! Sorry, I hope I'm not too late- There was an old lady on the street that was confident I was her grandson and I couldn't handle telling her the truth so... Ahh, never mind! I'm here! Thank you for agreeing!

[He hops up onto the stage and pats his knees. He doesn't have his hero gear but he does have some basic training gear he borrowed from the Sutoku storage. Knee pads, his compression stocking on his arm. And his usual shorts and a plain t-shirt... It should be fine.]

[Ever since that encounter with Aerith, he's put more pieces together. Of course he doesn't know everything. Which is unfortunate, but she's very good at playing the same game as him -- the dance of only giving a little when trying to get something from others.

He might have underestimated that from her before, but not now.

Cloud on the other hand is different, partly due to Sephiroth creeping inside his head. Sephiroth knows how to push just the right buttons and guide him to get what he wants ... mostly. He still fails when they ultimately engage in battle but a lot of that goes back to him having some sort of weird complex when dealing with Cloud.

Sephiroth shows up in the alley much like a looming darkness encompassing the area. He let Cloud wait slightly longer than normal just for added frustration.

And when he approaches? He does so slowly, evenly. So very casually.]

Good, Cloud. Very good. You didn't let fear take hold. Is it easier for you to walk through the flames of your past now?

[That's not what he came here to talk about, but he can't help but be dramatic in his entrance.]

[ There are entirely too many adjustments that need to be made to the Kineema. Kim had already been planning on quite a few of them back home - new headlights, some upgrades to the suspension system, some new brake pads he's had his eye on for a while - but most of those had taken a backseat to the fact that he had used his poor vehicle as a battering ram during the Haniwa infestation. He doesn't regret it, per se, knowing that things could have gone far worse if he hadn't done what he had done, but it still pains him to see the bumps and dents, the tarnished paint, the battered wheels. All it means is that there is more to be done, which means for the greater part of the month, he can be found in the garage in a state of cheerful disarray, stripped down to his tank top and some shabby trousers, covered in all manner of grease and filth, his portable radio blaring as he cheerfully works on his vehicle. He's been happy to greet Cloud anytime their paths crossed in the garage, though he was usually distractible, too consumed by his work for a lot of conversation.

Today is an exception, however. It feels almost salacious, examining another person's vehicle while the Kineema is standing right there, looming judgmentally at the prospect of its devoted owner spending his time leering at another vehicle, toolbox hanging forgotten by the tips of his fingers.

He's so fascinated by the beast of a motorcycle - god, he remembers his days on his own motorbike, still regrets selling it some days - that he doesn't even notice Cloud at first. When he does, however, he practically jumps as though he's been caught doing something that he oughtn't.

Wait -- he'd recognize that odd mop of hair anywhere. ]

Cloud? Is this yours?

[ Cloud couldn't help but look to the side and scoff, eyes closed. By now he was a little used to how Izuku couldn't help but help others, even at his own inconvenince. ]

Don't worry about it. Gave me time to set up.

[ The main thing of note being a few prepared 'training dummies' - which were little more than spare sandbags for stage mechanisms propped up on wooden horses usually used by the prop shop. But, hey, that's all they needed to be. ]

We're going to be treating this like actual training, which means I'm going to need to know as much about what you're looking to get out of this as possible. [ He starts to sound a little more confident as he talks. Like he's psyching himself up for this. ]

I know you said you wanted to train with your Quirks, but they aren't something I'm familiar with. If this is magic, or a special ability, I need to know details about how it works and how to best help you.

So, start from the top, Izuku - what are you looking to get out of this, how do your quirks work, and what do I need to be aware of, before we begin?

Edited 2022-08-03 07:45 (UTC)

Was just about to leave, considering how long you were holding me up.

[ It's an empty bluff, considering the topic at hand, and they both knew it. But he wasn't about to let Sephiroth think his time was unlimited. He turned to face the man, one hand dropping down to his side, the other resting comfortably on one hip. ]

[ Cloud has gotten better about facing his past. And that's not entirely undue to Sephiroth, forcing him through the flames of Nibelheim again. But it's more thanks to the close shave in Kaigo no Bou that really unlocked things for him. He knows there are missing pieces - knows there are other things he needs to confront Sephiroth about - maybe even he can try and get some of those answers here. But- ]

My past isn't why we're both here, is it? [ He was going to wear his impatience like armor. ] Or have you forgotten the reason I even agreed to meet you here in the first place?

Hey, Kim.

[ Cloud's gloves are stripped of their metal bracers - and with clear signs of engine grease, he's certainly not been idle in his tinkering. It's almost funny how casual Cloud makes it seem, as he pulls himself away from the behemoth of a bike. ]

This? [ He motions to the bike. ] ...Sort of. This is the Hardy-Daytona. I... 'borrowed' it off Shinra's show-room floor, in need of a hasty exit. I had it with me just before I came here, actually. But I didn't think it would show up here.

[ He walks around it, glancing up and down the not-even-remotely aerodynamic body. This bike was built to power through whatever came its way. And he's stepping aside to give Kim more than a chance to look, as well. ]

Daitengu mentioned it showed up the other day. Just got the time to do some maintenance, make sure it's ready to drive.

...Seems like it'll take the same fuel as everything else here, which is a plus. [ He wasn't really sure how to make a mako-powered motorcycle work here, after all. All that said, he's now giving Kim a rather curious look. ] You a bike guy too, then?

[ It was, quite frankly, not a secret that Kim loved the Kineema, and, having taken a ride in it, Cloud could understand why. It was an unassuming machine, but it was pretty tough all on its own. ]

I wouldn't go as far as to say that I'm a "bike guy", but... I did own one, in my youth, [ Kim says, still a little distracted by the bike in front of him. He's never seen anything like it in his life. So much of it looks as though it shouldn't work, but it is undeniably cool, which is unfortunately the motivation for entirely too much in Kim's life. ] I wound up having to sell it. I loved that bike while I had it, though it was nowhere near as fancy as this one.

[ It's like a tank. He supposes that you could drive this through damn near anything, and the other thing would be worse off, so long as you didn't care too much about the driver. He puts his hands on his hips, bending slightly at the waist to take it in. ] I had no idea you drove.

[ He raises his brows at Cloud. ] You any good?

[Izuku smiles sheepishly but he realizes quickly how useful a theatre might actually be for this sort of thing? He doesn't want to make any permanent damage to the place but with the Sutoku Alliance equipped for this it's probably great that they can make use of the space.

He puts his fingers to his chin as he starts to think out loud.]

The main goal I'm looking for is to see how strong my quirks are in their current state. Like a stress test or seeing how up to par my endurance is right now. Since my quirks feel like they're muted I need to know exactly what I can or can't do so I don't hurt myself or anyone else in a real situation.

[He clenches a fist.]

My main advantage with my quirk is my strength. Usually, I can control how hard I can hit anything. But right now that seems like it's up in the air. So the first thing I'd like to test is how hard I can hit while trying to control that. My quirks aren't a type of magic- most of them are physical. So maybe we can start with that.

[He glances up at Cloud. This is where he looks a little unsure. He doesn't want to hurt Cloud... He basically needs someone to test his strength against and someone who can gauge it intelligently.]

You mentioned before that you've got a set of power yourself? And I figured you might be the one able to help me with this the most.

Edited 2022-08-06 19:19 (UTC)

Oh I remember quite well why we're meeting.

[But that doesn't mean he's not going to make this easy either. The fact that he can just dangle bits in pieces in front of Cloud makes this all too good of an opportunity to pass up.]

However -- Your past is like a shadow scorched upon your heart, so no matter what we discuss it'll always be there.

[He moves in closer to shorten the distance between them. Not for any particular reason, that's just how he is. And invading Cloud's personal space is what he does.]

The moment we came to talk about is another that will stay with you forever. A scar deeper than that caused by any blade.

Like I said, this one is only a recent acquisition. I doubt I'd have ever been able to afford something like this on a mercenary's bill. Still, that's pretty cool.

[ Cloud can't help but get a bit puffed up at talking about his bike with Kim - and noticing now how much Kim is looking at it. He already knows Kim is a hell of a motorhead, so he doesn't feel a bit bad about this. ]

SOLDIERs get mandatory training. But I've been in a few high-stakes moments, outside that. Had to ride down the expressway with a massive tank of a machine chasing us the whole way out of Midgar, for starters.

[ He feels like he should raise his brow back at Kim - but something disavows him of the notion, but he folds his arms with a smile. ] So I'd say I'm not bad.

Sort of. It's... not the same. But I have the training to back it up.

[ He's going to drag out one of the makeshift training dummies, setting it center stage. ]

I'm a SOLDIER. What that means - back home - is that I was enhanced to the peak of physical performance - I'm not stronger than the strongest human, or toughest than the toughest human, but I'm strong and tough enough to be in the top percentile. So I do know a little bit about controlling my strength.

[ He walks around the stage a little, his brows furrowed as he tries to think. ] But... we both know I'm not up to top form. I'm not really cleared for combat until late next month, if not the month after. If I do get hurt - it won't be pretty for either of us.

[ Either he has to explain to the doctors helping him with physical therapy he strained himself... or they go to Emily. And neither option is without a fair share of talking their ear off. ]

Here's what I'm thinking. I made a few training dummies - they aren't very good, but they should stand up to some punishment. If we're stress testing, we'll use this until we can dial in how strong your Quirk is right now, and we can go from there.

Hell, I might even get involved myself for a little bit.

Does that line up with your expectations, Izuku? Or...

[ He kind of snorts. ] Were you hoping to skip to the part where we spar?

Probably once of the few times we'll agree, then. [ There was no going back from Nibelheim. For either of them. They both knew it. Cloud's anger for the man was too deep, and Sephiroth's own madness started there, after all. It would always come back to that fateful day at Nibelheim, for them. ]

[ He studies Sephiroth, closely. Sephiroth didn't lie, but the way he phrased things intentionally agitated Cloud. Always keen to leave his mark, to remind Cloud just how much he couldn't escape him. But here, there's a candor - which puts Cloud's stomach into knots as he speaks the next words. ]

You're talking about something that will happen. Not something that has already happened.

[ There's something nagging about the whole exchange. It's something Cloud can't put his finger on. A sense of remembrance, but of something that hadn't happened yet. It's not the first time it's come up, with Sephiroth. But it's the first time he's felt it this keenly. Strongly enough he's aware of the sensation. ]

Something that happens to Aerith... or rather... it's already happened, where you come from.

[Izuku quickly waves his hands in front of him sheepishly.]

At least I don't intend to go full plus ultra, Cloud-san! I just need to get a gauge on what I can do right now. Any help even if it's you watching what I'm doing is fine! I appreciate any help!

[He doesn't want to openly admit he might have been a tiny bit excited to actually spar with Cloud- no that sort of thing really will have to wait until Cloud is in better shape.]

I can start with this, it's more than enough.

[He nods quickly. Coming over to the test dummies he starts a little stretching in his arms.]

Heh. Trust me. When I'm in good enough shape to spar, you'll be one of the first people to know. [ He might even still break out a training sword, for the hell of it. Depends on what he sees Izuku do. Even still. That's a promise. ]

[ He's going to step back as the dummy's set up for Izuku to throw himself into it, folding his arms. ] Though... I don't know I've ever heard of 'plus ultra'. That something from back home, I'm guessing?

[There it is. Sephiroth gives Cloud a look, it's not quite a smile, but it's not really a smirk either. He's finally catching on. It's all coming together like a massive puzzle. Though all the pieces don't seem to fit exactly right.]

You're the one who almost does it, you know.

[He begins, gesturing towards Cloud.]

Your blade came so close. A few more steps and that would have been it. Still, the guilt consumes you. Eats away at your heart sending you into a darkness you never quite crawl out of.

[Considering how deep Cloud fell with it in general, Sephiroth wonders just how it would have turned out had he been the one to cast his blade to her. Perhaps the outcome of their story would be very different if Cloud never managed to break free of his control.]

You were unable to save her. You could only watch.

[ Cloud tries to interject. He takes a step forward. ]

What are you-

[ The words die in his throat. As soon as he takes a step, the hissing noise invades his head, bringing with it an ominous ringing. Cloud's eyes shoot wide, and then they half-close, as he holds his head and winces.

She's praying. His blade is in his hands. There's a flash. People yelling. A materia clatters to the ground. He hears it, but doesn't look for it. His eyes are burning, his hands are tingling, his mouth is dry.

Something boils to the surface - a rage, inarticulate, heavy. Another flash. She's in the water, floating, peacefully, dreamlike. Sinking down below.

Another flash. A different memory. Sephiroth's voice ringing in his ears. "So, you've failed again, I see. But through suffering, you will grow strong... isn't that what you want?"

There's something there. Something he's holding onto, even if he can't process why - not through the ringing in his ears, the thrumming in his chest. He feels as if the veins in his arms are threatening to split off from his skin, for blood to come pouring out of him, unable to take the pressure of this moment. The darkness creeps at the edges of his suddenly blurry vision. His breath comes in, rattling. His trembling hands clench. ]

There's no way- there's no way I would do that to her. How could I- How could I have ever done that!?

[ There's no refutation of what Sephiroth's saying. Even in the panic settling over Cloud, he knows Sephiroth doesn't lie. Dresses the truth to hurt him, certainly. But lying isn't something Sephiroth has ever concerned himself with. He looks at him - scared, but defiant, angry, but on the verge of tears he didn't realize were starting to well. A phantom memory of a future time digging into him like a wound from ages past. ]

Edited 2022-08-12 06:03 (UTC)

While being chased by a tank? [ Kim has to stop to boggle at that mental image. One of Kim's greatest flaws, both as a person and as a detective, is his utter lack of imagination. He has been informed as such by every partner he's ever had. But in this case, looking at this behemoth of a bike, he finds that he is able to imagine it very, very clearly. A secret pleasure of his is to slip into theatres playing the latest great action flicks from Sur-La-Clef, boasting budgets that Vacholiere productions could only ever dream of, vehicle after vehicle sacrificed in the name of trick driving and wanton destruction. Kim adores them. He can imagine it perfectly. ]

You were just flattering me when you complimented my driving, weren't you? [ He says, shaking his head. ] If I were to be pursued by something like that on any bike, it would be this one. It's practically a tank in and of itself.

[ He glances up at Cloud, suddenly remembering that he really ought to be more concerned than impressed. He's mainly just impressed, though. ]

I can imagine who you were running from, and why -- but what exactly was chasing you?

[He lets out a small laugh as he finishes stretching out his arms.]

Ah- It's my school motto. It means to go further beyond, or always go to your fullest or farther. I think it's always been fitting for my school since we're all hero students.

[He looks fond of that.]

But I don't need that for some testing and training. I think I'm ready to give this a try, though.

[There's something in the way Cloud crumbles so easily at the thought of losing his friends. Sephiroth has nothing to lose anymore (though that's not completely true), so clinging to such fragile ideas is rather pitiful to him. But it also makes pushing Cloud's buttons ever so satisfying.

He's going to dangle just more and more tidbits of information like breadcrumbs to be followed and leave Cloud wanting more while never fully satisfying him.

Sephiroth can't wait to get to the rest.]

You barely know yourself, but I do. I know what's in your heart. And you never forgive yourself for that moment, even for years to come. It haunts you. Your biggest and greatest failure.

[Sephiroth looks at Cloud with a slight tilt of his head.]

What would you give to change that?

[He has the answers and he could give them. The what, where, why, when. But Cloud has to earn it first. Maybe beg some more.]

Nope. [ He says it plainly. ] I don't flatter people. Your driving's good, Kim. Real good.

[ And, if Cloud was being honest with himself, if there was one person he could count on to take on the challenge of riding the Hardy-Daytona, it would be Kim. ]

They call it the Motorball. It's a piece of mechanized infantry - a mobile weapons platform driven by a machine. Six wheels, bladed arms, flamethrowers, lasers... you name it, and the Motorball probably has it. And it was big, too - each of its six wheels was probably somewhere between the height of this bike- [ He pats the Hardy-Daytona. ] And your ride.

It was a close call - we nearly ran out of highway before we managed to send it packing.

To go further beyond... to break your limits, in other words.

I'll have to remember that.

[ He'll file that away for later. That feels familiar, in some ways, huh? ]

[ But he'll give Izuku the distance to work - Izuku has said himself he wasn't sure how well he could control his powers. He's giving him a wide berth for safety purposes. When he's in a spot he feels is both safe and able to observe how Izuku takes on the dummy, he'll give a nod. ]

Alright, Izuku! Show me what you've got!

You...

[ He can feel his blood pressure rising. The steady thrum of anger in his eardrums and his chest. A brief flash of pain is the only thing that makes him aware that his numb fingers have dug into his palm on one hand. He felt cornered - Sephiroth had all the answers. Or at least, it certainly seemed that way.

Because he's right. If that is what happened, if what happened is what truly happened... Cloud would never forgive himself. He would never be able to look at himself in a mirror. The idea that she wouldn't make it to the end of their journey - it was just... unthinkable. He couldn't contemplate it.

And yet... hasn't there always been some sort of trepidation with Aerith? He had remembered she always seemed hesitant, in some ways. Did she...?

Something hits him as his eyes dilate in the panic. As his thoughts jump from one track to another. "Your biggest and greatest failure."

You've failed again, I see. But through suffering, you will grow strong...

"What would you give to change that?"

...isn't that what you want?

There had been something weird with Sephiroth - Cloud remembers now. He hadn't quite understood what Cloud had meant, back when he had first arrived. The meeting on the Expressway. There was still... ]

This is what you meant, then? When you... appeared to me.

After the plate fell.

[ His eyes need to be focused on Sephiroth now. He's thrown that out there. There's something about this that isn't adding up — there has to be. He's desperate for anything, beyond the truth as Sephiroth tells it. ]

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want a moment to be real [CLOSED]

TRAINING DAY - IZUKU - MID/LATE JULY

CAR BOYS - KIM - MID/LATE JULY

FILLING BLANKS - SEPHIROTH - EARLY JULY

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[warning for ff7 spoilers starts here]

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