jigokulogs | [closed] it's getting cold down here underneath the weather

[It wasn't the strangest thing for Shoto to ask for, Izuku understands that being here and so far away from everything that they know can be a little harrowing. But the fact that Shoto has so much more that he can be missing makes Izuku feel strange. He wants to do the best for his friend and yet at the same time if he could only know what Shoto's been through to make him feel ... lonely.

It's later in the evening and the light outside is slowly fading away. The apartments are lite up like little nightlights all across the streets. The city is nothing like Musutafu but the bright city lights sometimes remind Izuku of it. Makes him think of home.

Okay, maybe he's a little lonely too.

Izuku waits for his friend to come by the apartment. Hopefully with something easy to eat like those onigiri he'd been craving from the conbini. But mostly he just hopes Shoto arrives safely.]

[The area is more than a little new for him. It's more than a little odd for him, too. There've been so many times he's been warned not to go out of the faction area, but he puts people at ease and tells them he's more than safe. It seems like just kind hearted people who would rather not see their own go places they don't need to.

But for Shoto, he does need to. He needs to very much and after having someone at his house at much farther than an arm's length, he needs it all the more. Someone he can sit next to and not feel like he has to be concerned and someone who makes him feel comfortable in his own skin. Not that anyone else hadn't, but if it was going to be someone, it should be Izuku.

Having picked up what Izuku wanted, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize why things were so specifically stated. Some drinks and a few other odds and ends that were touted as sleepover food by the person behind the counter. As well, some small things on his own that Uraraka had taught him. At least Midoriya won't have to cook for himself (or maybe he will and it'd be smart to throw it out). Shoto makes his way up the stairs and to the apartment, ringing the doorbell to be buzzed in.]

Midoriya? It's Shoto.

[As if it could be anyone else, but y'know.]

[Izuku is quick to open the door! He smiles at his friend but he also reaches out to take his hand and tug him inside of the apartment. He's trying so hard not to seem suspicious or weird about it but he does stick his head out to check down outside left and right before going back inside and closing the door tight.

He just really doesn't want Shoto to get in trouble or danger for being here. The scandal of a Tamamo sleeping over with a Sutoku... He has no idea what would happen so he'd rather be safe for now.]

Phew... You got here alright. I'm so relieved.

[He pats his chest.]

[Being so enthusiastically invited inside, Shoto only looks back over his shoulder when Izuku looks out the door. None the less he pull his hood down from over his head and waits. He knows he wasn't followed, but lets Izuku do what he has to in order to feel sure. Maybe this is a taboo thing, too? Shoto doesn't care much about that, they're not plotting, they're eating and sleeping in each other's company.]

I'm very careful. No one gave me any issues. I even got to see the man at the corner store we saw on the rainy night.

[He assures his friend before settling down the backpack carting the items he had been carting to take his outside shoes off. He's a polite person if nothing and Shoto lifts his bag back up, this time with the back of it at his chest. Rooting around in it and producing a carefully packaged bunch of Onigiri.]

I brought dinner food, but I also got what you asked for.

[It means the world to be here, the small offering of food and drinks is nothing and he's already feeling a ton better.]

Edited 2022-07-09 07:09 (UTC)

He's going to think we're regulars at this rate, ne?

[Izuku still has no idea how bad it would be if someone found out that different clan members are picking to share a sleeping space or the sort of looks they might get if it happens and someone finds out. Call him a little over-careful but he doesn't want to cause any trouble for Shoto. So for now and until Izuku knows it's really not that bad it'll be a little like sneaking out together...

He lights up when he sees Shoto pull out the packaged onigiri. Izuku really is simple when it comes to his food tastes.]

Thank you, Todoroki-kun! I hope it wasn't too much to pay for. We can eat in the kitchen area.

[It's a meagre little apartment. A small kitchenette and two bedrooms. Simple compact Japanese with not many furnishings yet since they're so new.]

Maybe. It'd be good for you to have somewhere familiar, too.

[Familiar meant safe. Somewhere that he knew the ins and outs, but that goes without saying. Plus the guy was nice after the first night, who doesn't want to just go home on rainy, unnecessary nights? Other than Shoto.

The sneaking around is also something he can do and if he catches even the slightest, he'll just go out the most covered window this time. His quirk may not be to full, but it's good enough to help him scale a wall or two up or down if it's not too grandiose. Not to mention that he shakes his head the moment Izuku worries about the price. Yes, here he isn't rich as all get out, but even if he isn't, it isn't much. Not in comparison to the look on Izuku's face that comes off as priceless.]

It wasn't.

[However he nods his head and makes a small, affirmative noise before following him into the designated kitchen area.]

It's a nice place.

[Empty or not, it's reminiscent and makes him want to put the extra effort into his own place once he's decided he's going to stop considering every world transient.]

Did you decorate this yourself?

[Because let's face it, Shoto hard worked himself into a new entire place back in UA. Which is a good memory, being able to look back on it at least.]

Edited (shh) 2022-07-10 02:58 (UTC)

[Izuku leads the way into the little kitchenette area. For the most part, it really is one of those Japanse style apartments with limited space being maximized. He sets the food on the table and starts to grab some things to eat with from the kitchen drawers and comes to sit while motioning for Shoto to join him.]

Ah, Tokoyami-kun is also staying in the other room so he helped a little bit as well. We haven't done a lot but I think it's enough to get us by for now?

[Fumikage is out tonight letting Dark Shadow get some fresh air but he would probably be back late. But it does make him think that Shoto and Kacchan both don't have classmates to share the apartments with. It was lucky that Izuku and Fumikage both joined the Sutoku Alliance.

He taps his chopsticks ready and then glances at Shoto.]

Are you sure you're okay with this, Todoroki-kun? I- I am. I'm just saying that it's not every day that people our age share a bed with someone else so... Is it really alright?

[Is it really alright that it's Izuku that Shoto picked?]

[Shoto watches the efficient sight of Izuku setting things up, he's not even sure he's used to that anymore either. Actually using the kitchen or getting up to do breakfast with the idea of setting the table in mind. His eyes tick toward 'the other room', wherever that may be in his view even if it's behind a parting wall, only a second or two. Tokoyami wouldn't not come out to say hello or eat, he hopes. He also didn't see another pair of shoes at the door so he can only come to the conclusion they're not going to see him right away.

Settling in after Izuku motions him to, Shoto: "Thanks."'s him and gestures for Izuku to begin eating. Onigiri and random things or not, they're for his friend and he to enjoy.]

I'm the one that suggested it.

[Okay so he wasn't. Yuuji was the one that had suggested something that made Shoto suggest it. His pause with a morsel of food between the two chopsticks is something that may look a little puzzling, but he's trying to do his own solving, too.]

I'm older than you, but the camping trip, the first one, we all stayed together. Isn't that the same?

[An obviously, intoned, rhetorical question. No, not with the context of curling up next to someone to not be lonely comes into play, but therein Shoto's problem. He won't admit it entirely because he'll feel guilty for using his friend as bandaid just like he had when... He really shouldn't lie.]

Have you ever considered someone more than a friend, Midoriya?

[At this point at least he's eating a little bit. Nothing that seems to revolve around any meat, but he's eating.]

[Izuku stops with a bite of delicious store-bought onigiri in his mouth. Thinks for a moment back to the camping trip and they were for sure all cramped in a room together with all the other boys but Izuku has to think that this is different in a lot of ways. Especially when Shoto asks his second question.]

I...!

[He stumbles a little with his cheeks getting pink.]

There are a lot of people I consider really close friends but more than I friend... I- I don't know.

[He's never had someone think of him like that and he hasn't had much time to really experience those things even if he thinks it would be nice? There is someone he thinks of more often than the rest of his friends but-- He has a guess where Shoto is going with this.]

... You met someone in the other world you were in, Todoroki-kun? Is that what happened?

[The start of a bite and the lack of one makes Shoto regret bringing things up, Izuku looked so happy about eating that treat and the blush and shy aren't something he isn't used to. Shoto just knows that maybe he shouldn't pile this all on at once.

Answers come and Shoto stays silent, simply picking at some of the food to settle on his plate and stare down at instead of looking any longer at his friend. After a long pause and a good, solid stare at his food, Shoto has had time to decide on what to say.]

Then maybe I can help you understand. There have been other times in other worlds I was mostly sure. But looking back, I know I was sure about one person.

[Shoto takes out some soda from his bag and settles that at Izuku's side, too. Cheat day food but this feels like a good a day as any. His hand falls against it and frosts the liquid in there. The other he brings out is a smaller version of the one he gave Izuku, he's not sure what he wanted to drink so there's a few in there. In fact, as he is obviously lost in thought or how to explain, he pulls out two or three other drinks ranging from just ice tea which he's seen Izuku drink, all the way to just water. Which is dumb, since y'know Izuku's place probably has taps. Each are given their prospective chill while he mulls over being direct.]

Eijiro.

[Which also might have been a guess, considering he's all of called him Kirishima once.]

He saved my life in no short terms. He never shamed me for not wanting to be alone, he took care of me after I fought my brother because I'm impulsive. Even though I told no one and hurt him because I didn't. He told me stories to pass the time about his adventures elsewhere, too. Taught me thinks about the world without judging me for not knowing simple things.

[Lost in thoughts only relevant to himself, Shoto isn't capable of looking his friend in the face yet as he tries to explain. Even one small smile for one moment and the most fragile hint of an amused sigh.]

Ate the food I made him, even if I found out later it wasn't done right and he was just being nice.

[The smile leaves him, but the sentiment in his voice doesn't.]

There's barely a time I have a memory of that place without him in it. I miss him and places seem like they have no light switch powerful enough to make the room brighter when I realize he isn't here.

[Finally, after arranging the bottles in alphabetical order, he looks back up to Izuku. His mismatched eyes trying to find any scrap of 'shut it' to know he's said too much and maybe needs to dial everything back.]

Does that make sense? It's a selfish reason I'm here, but you're the only one I want to trust with it. Any of it right now.

[At first Izuku seems a little curious and confused. He watches Shoto's expression change from contemplative to something distant. Watching and fretting a little as Shoto continues to pull drinks out of his bag. He waves his hands slightly and reaches out for one before the name he wasn't expecting comes out of Shoto's lips.]

Kirishima-kun...?

[Somehow he wasn't expecting to hear that name. It's surprising for Izuku and makes him feel like he really is distant from everything he used to know about Shoto. But he doesn't judge the other boy. As he continues Izuku can clearly see the look on Shoto's face and how his voice shifts to this earnest fondness that Izuku wishes someone talked about him like.]

It's not selfish, Todoroki-kun... It's ... It's...

[He wants to say more. But for a second all he can feel is his overwhelming amount of ache for his friend. Empathetic to feeling of how it must feel to care for someone so much and to be away from them. Shoto must miss him so much and it makes the entirety of this situation make perfect sense.

Izuku feels tears in his eyes and he suddenly bursts into a well of uncontrollable tears.]

I'm so sorry, Todoroki-kun!! I'll-- I'll sleep with you as much as you need if- If it helps you feel any b-better!! I'm sorry I questioned why!!

[He'll hug you for days, bro???]

[Shoto does mean it that Kirishima took over the sore places of his heart where past instances had still stung. Just as Shoto had hoped he may have done in turn. There were other people, as he's mentioned, even harder when those people were in reach and remembered nothing. In the best of ways accepted his feelings but couldn't return them for various other reasons.

Well before the stuttered, familiar sound of his friend's voice on the verge of tears... Shoto could see that he's about to cry. He isn't sure what he said that's going to make him cry but he's done it. With a soft, sad sigh that gets accentuated by the upward pinch of his brows, Shoto slides closer, abandoning his bag to its place on the floor. His left hand reaches out, fingers crooked and a careful swipe of the back of his knuckles attempt to take away some of those tears.]

You don't have to be sorry. You've already done a lot. I haven't been able to share that with anyone and haven't wanted to. It's my own problem, he wouldn't want me to be sad. I'm only feeling this way because it was...

[How does he explain a feeling? Shoto doesn't have the vocabulary all the time. As he holds his eyes on those green ones and his hand on the side of his friend's face to steel him, Shoto tries to put Izuku at ease a little bit.]

It was good I got to experience it at all. I'm sorry for making you cry.

[The touch to his cheek helps ease Izuku a little bit although even that motion is a little foreign to him since they've never touched like that before. Shoto really has changed in small little ways from the boy he knows in school. It's not a bad thing and Izuku doesn't think so it's just something new to Izuku himself. It makes him inhale his breath and try and stop his crying. He smiles instead, trying to give his friend a comforting expression through his wobbly smile.]

That sounds like Kirishima-kun. He wouldn't want you to feel sad, even if all of this is happening to us now.

[That this realm took them all away from things like this. He feels so deeply for his friend's pain, that he wishes he could somehow help more. Well, that is what this napping thing is, right?]

I'm happy you got the chance to feel that way about someone, Todoroki-kun. I'm sure it meant just as much to him as it meant to you. And I hope you can feel that way again someday. If there's anyone who deserves that, it's you.

[He sniffles and stops his sobbing.]

[closed] it's getting cold down here underneath the weather

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#feelstrain, there is no revving up it is either 0 or 10 with Shoto

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