semi-closed 🔪 not pulling the knife out

[pitfight]

Who ⬤ this feral fucking dog and various bedside wellwishers
What ⬤ nishitani got real stabbed and now is in his recovery bed phase (spoiler: he's bad at it)
When ⬤ late may
Where ⬤ emily's clinic and andy's apartment
Content Warnings ⬤ Nishitani CW as always. Most likely discussions of intense, violent sadomasochism and the chance of practicing it too

if you would like to tag into this/want a starter, hmu at bussy!

Comments

[no_kyouken]

[ Nishitani fusses and grumbles about his sliced up gut. Majima hisses slightly as he sinks down on his injured shoulder but it stops stinging after a moment and he just exhales. ]

What are you even talking about, Nishitani...

[ He does not, at this moment, feel like much of anything. ]

[pitfight]

Just thinking. [ Nishitani doesn't brush Majima's hair, doesn't touch his face, but he does kiss his forehead, lingering there for a while as he simply breathes-- as he rests, genuinely, for the first time in so long. ]

You know, I won't hurt you like Shimano and Sagawa did. Not unless you ask me for it, first.

cw: heyo there's the victim blaming

[no_kyouken]

[ 'Not unless you ask me first' is not the reassure Nishitani thinks it is. That Majima might ask is a real fear. There's something wrong with him. He shouldn't be like this. Why is he so fucking pathetic? ]

What do ya want, Nishitani? What do ya want me t'say?

[pitfight]

I want you to enjoy your life, Majima-kun. [ But Nishitani knows, even with the shadow show of a life Majima puts on, he's not enjoying himself. There's something in Majima that's burrowing deeper and deeper, and the more Nishitani pries, the worse it seems to get. ] That's it. If getting beaten black and blue turns you on, pick some fights. If cracking open skulls makes you grin, do it, break every single bone someone's got-- as long as you're happy. That hole in your heart is only going to get bigger if you ignore it. The only way to live is to fill it back up.

cw: that's all abuse all the time

[no_kyouken]

[ A small sigh. ]

Ain't ignorin' it.

[ Expressing his wants just doesn't feel safe, often. Of course there's a reason for that and he struggles with how to say it. He shifts, stretching his shoulder a little bit, readjusting the way his head is laying. He keeps his good eye closed, trying to just not think to hard and get something out. ]

'Fore I came t'see ya at th'jail... Sagawa beat th'shit outta me for losin' th'girl.

[ First of all, please re-contextualize Majima beating this man in a fight after having recently been tortured. Thanks. ]

Told me a story, 'bout some bird he found as a kid that he took care of. Next breath it's beatin' th'pet cat to death.

[ And those were the choices. Another small stretch. He isn't unaware that these statements are only pieces and parts of what he won't say to anyone. But that's just how it is with him, there's only so much he is willing to give. He has been hurt, deep down to his human dignity. Maybe that's why it's easier to be half a yokai these days. ]

That's... who took me in, after.

[ After the Hole. He won't even invoke the name. After they stripped him down to nothing but a bleeding husk, they gave him to a man who said he could either be a good little bird or a dead little cat. ]