semi-closed 🔪 not pulling the knife out

[pitfight]

Who ⬤ this feral fucking dog and various bedside wellwishers
What ⬤ nishitani got real stabbed and now is in his recovery bed phase (spoiler: he's bad at it)
When ⬤ late may
Where ⬤ emily's clinic and andy's apartment
Content Warnings ⬤ Nishitani CW as always. Most likely discussions of intense, violent sadomasochism and the chance of practicing it too

if you would like to tag into this/want a starter, hmu at bussy!

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[pitfight]

[ The wound is fresh, the stitches are fresh, the bandaging is already dotting with blood but Nishitani is conscious regardless, looking as irritated as he's ever looked. ]

[ The reason? His arm is basically taped to his chest so he'll stop trying to raise it. And! He's not allowed to smoke in here! Fuck! ]

[ Luckily for him, entertainment comes quickly enough. ]

I got stabbed, Iichan. The fuck do you think happened?

[heretic_blade]

[ Izō narrows his eyes as he leans against the doorway. The urge to just leave is very strong. ]

I don't fuckin' know, 's why I asked! [ A huff. ] Ya finally piss someone off enough they tried t' gut ya?

[pitfight]

Nah. [ Nishitani wants to roll onto his side, to be lewd and cruel to Iichan like he usually is, but he thinks if he gets a hard on at this point, he will pass out. The painkillers also make it pretty difficult for his dick to get up, so that's also a factor. ]

You should keep an eye on Emikko, though. [ Unrelated issue but one close enough to the stabbing that Nishitani thinks to bring it up. ] Some foxes tried to fucking kidnap her! Fucking brats.

[heretic_blade]

[ Nishitani not immediately getting mean and lewd with him is a change. That alone gives him more reason to stick around. ]

What? [ His attitude changes significantly, his posture stiffening. His care for Emily quickly overrides his irritation with Nishitani. ] ...She ain't hurt, right?

[ Yes, he saw her often, but she was good at concealing her injuries and troubles. ]

[pitfight]

If she is, she's hiding it. [ Nishitani can't rightly say what happened after he got hit on the head, so if she'd gotten hurt during that, he wouldn't know. ] The punks are all dead anyways. Just be careful, Tamamo've caught wind she's important to us.

[heretic_blade]

... Wait. [ Something clicks into place finally with that. He looks a little lost in the moment. ] Ya protected her from 'em?

[pitfight]

Yeah? [ Nishitani looks visibly confused, like Izo's said something truly stupid. Not for the first time, Nishitani wishes he had a cigarette, if just for something to do with his fucking hands. ] I'd do the same for you and Majima-kun. Why're you so fucking surprised?

[heretic_blade]

Dunno...Jus' ain't used t' people goin' outta their way for people I care 'bout. An' I dunno shit about ya, either, 'cept that yer a fuckin' creep.

[ Majima had said Nishitani died protecting him. It's one thing to know it, it's another to see it demonstrated. Izō lowers his head. ]

I ain't worth it gettin' hurt over, though. Save it for th' others.

[pitfight]

[ Nishitani takes being called a creep easily-- mostly because he deserves it, from Iichan especially. But if Nishitani is a creep, Izo is one too. Shrugging and wincing because of it-- ] Too fucking bad, I guess. Get used to it.

[heretic_blade]

[ Izō is a different sort of creep, the murderous kind. He huffs in irritation. ]

Ya don't owe me shit just 'cause Majima likes me.

[ That's what it is, right? ]

So don't fuckin' bother.

[pitfight]

[ A murderous creep that gets naked in the middle of the road just because Nishitani told him to-- but Nishitani likes Izo, so he lets it slide. ]

You think I'd do this shit for people I don't like? [ Nishitani looks peeved-- and looks especially awful from the blood loss, too. ] I also wouldn't have fucked you a second time if I couldn't stand your face.

Like I said, get used to it.

[heretic_blade]

[ Don't get into a fight with the recently stabbed man.

Even after everything he's been through, Izō has trouble dealing with the fact that people like him or care about him in ways that are beyond transactional. Why should Nishitani like him besides being a decent lay? He can't just accept it, he has to fight and yell and try to drive the other person away.

If he pushes them away, he won't have to risk getting hurt again. He won't have to risk betrayal. It's easier to be alone and miserable than to be vulnerable.

He doesn't argue. He won't win this. Izō still looks bitter about it, unable to even look at Nishitani, too consumed by his own self-loathing. His mind twists the actual reasoning around into something he can accept: Nishitani protected the two people he cares about most, so Izō owes him something. That's all this is. ]

...D'ya want somethin'? [ Sullen. Why the hell is he acting like a scolded dog? ] I'll get ya whatever ya want.

[ Food, drink, maybe actually let him have a cigarette and take the blame for it. ]

[pitfight]

[ Nishitani pauses for a moment, thinking. He wants a lot of things right now-- he wants to be on his feet, he wants an orange, he wants some liquor, he wants to smoke as many cigarettes as he can-- ]

[ But-- ]

Sit with me for a bit. Fucking boring being trapped in here alone.

[heretic_blade]

[ Not at all what he was expecting. He can do that, though. Izō moves out of the doorway to properly sit in the room with him.

Still, he has to ask. ]

...That's it? 'S all ya want right now?

[ Not that he doesn't get it. Izō doesn't see himself as great company. ]

[pitfight]

That's it. Can't get hard and the shit Emikko's got me on won't let me eat or drink without fucking drowning in puke. [ Bitching, biting, mad that what he loves has been stripped from him, but at least he has this-- ]

[ Nishitani's always been sociable. He likes people, though not many people liked him back. The people who can stomach him, he keeps close. They're rare, and his type of people. Izo just happens to fall in that category, for better or worse. ] So sit with me, Iichan. Just for a bit.

[heretic_blade]

Alright...Yer probably gonna be jus' as bored as ya were before, though.

[ He drops himself into a chair, stretching his wings out for a moment before settling in. ]

...Glad ya ain't dead, at least.

[pitfight]

You'd miss daddy's cock too much if I died. [ Nishitani looks over at Izo with a smirk, before letting his eyes cast along the line of his wings. ] Those hurt?

cw body horror

[heretic_blade]

[ He bristles for a moment, teeth bared. It passes just as quickly as it came and he crosses his arms over his chest. ]

Oh, shut th' fuck up.

[ He finds himself dwelling on the question. It'd been some time since he experienced the changes Karasu forced on him. The wings were probably the most ... memorable experience, tied with the legs. It's hard to say which hurt him worse, though. ]

I mean, yeah. It all hurt. [ He looks down at his clawed hands, runs his tongue over his sharpened canines unconsciously. ] Bone growing out through yer back, tearin' its way out, rippin' yer skin. Everythin's bloody an' sticky 'cause they ain't done growin'. Achin' for weeks 'til they finally force their way out completely.

[ He folds his wings flush against his back. ]

Always felt like they ain't even a part'a me 'til recently...Dunno if I like that, either.

[pitfight]

[ Despite the drugs in his system, despite the fact Nishitani already faced death once-- ] Do you want them gone? [ Nishitani's eyes are sharp in the dull light, and his face is stone serious. ]

[heretic_blade]

Why? Gonna rip 'em off for me? [ Izō snorts, then shrugs. ] They ain't goin' nowhere.

[ He sighs. ]

...Ain't that bad. Least I can fly.

[ He could do without the tengu in his head, though. ]

[pitfight]

That's not what I asked. [ Nishitani considers flight, considers what Izo says before continuing himself. ] I'm asking if you'd want to get rid of them. [ The yokai who did this. ]

[heretic_blade]

Karasu?

[ It's not the tengu's name, it's just what Izō calls him. He doesn't know Karasu's actual name -- never bothered to learn it and it's not like the youkai was keen on giving it, either.

Izō looks troubled to say the least. He fidgets with a loose strand of hair. ]

I mean...I woulda died without him.

[ He walked into the lake at the beckoning of the spirit within. He would have willingly drowned if Karasu hadn't forced control. The crow also lent him strength when he lacked it, strength he used to protect the people he grew fiercely protective of. As much of a pain in the ass as it is to be possessed, Izō can't unequivocally say he wants him gone. ]

...Toraguma promised me once I'm done here that he'll get his own body. I don't want him dead, I want him t' be how he used t' be.

[ Before he picked Izō to possess. ]

...'S only fair.

[ This is privileged information. Izō hasn't told another soul any of this, not even Emily nor Majima. ]

[pitfight]

Then you're a nicer person than I am. [ For this privileged information, Nishitani shows his true thoughts matter, the venom in his veins at the idea of being controlled, possessed, taken from himself. Sharing his body-- he'd rather kill himself first. No one controls him. ]

[ It's why he'd wanted to take the collar Majima was chained to in Sotenbori and break it, shatter it in front of the Tojo and say "See? See what happens when you consume a man?". Nishitani wants to see Majima free; he wants to see the people Majima cares about alive and well. ]

[ Izo is in that group. ] Anyone and anything that's ever tried to own me has wound up at the bottom of the sea.

[heretic_blade]

He ain't happy 'bout it either.

[ He can hear the crow buzzing in his brain, brimming over with thoughts of his own on the arrangement. It's annoying, but it's just how things are. He's gotten used to hollow voice telling him to act on his worst impulses, gotten used to the extra voice telling him when he's fucked up and how useless and stupid he is. ]

But...I ain't surprised by that. Ya ain't a dog anyone can keep on a leash.

[ Izō was when he was alive -- not anymore. He doesn't ever want to get used like he was by Takechi ever again. He won't let anyone do that ever again. ]

Can tell that much about ya. Freedom's real important to ya, ain't it?

[pitfight]

How a man lives should be decided by that man, and that man alone. [ Nishitani wishes he had a cigarette, but settles with resting back on the bed, curling fingers over a the plasticy blanket around his ribs. ]

Tell me, how do you want to live, Iichan?