jigokulogs | (closed

Entry tags:

(closed - for now)

Who ⬤ itadori yuuji, fushiguro megumi, mitsuri kanroji.
What ⬤ may mini event
When ⬤ mid-may
Where ⬤ all over the place idk
Content Warnings ⬤ will update if needed!

[ use any force necessary — well, that was the direct order from the Enma, and yuuji had no issue to comply. let's say he has a growing resentment towards any group of punks deciding to form a gang and make his job harder. the best philosophy is to break them before they grow in numbers; simple and efficient.

beating up a bunch of hooligans is the norm by now, but— this time yuuji is hearing a lot of personal resentment towards the Enma himself. the fucking audacity; something about rumors and accusations, the dumb turf war between the other factions, and while the sorcerer didn't entertain having a conversation with one, often eager to punch them on the throat instead. however, there is a steady recurring theme here.

... something is going on.

by now, he had a fair pile of those cursed figures stashed inside his backpack— the mission is going well, but he wanted to drop megumi a quick visit at his part-time job. smiling, yuuji glanced down at the poorly wrapped gift box he was holding onto, totally proud of himself for finding the perfect fitting to keep the element of surprise alive; the pink bow in the center is just a lovely touch yuuji deemed necessary! lost in his own little world, the sorcerer easily neglected the brawls in the background as fights broke out in every corner of the city.

eh, it's not his problem.

reaching the library, he barged in and ruined the quiet vibe with a loud, hearty- ]

Yo, Fushiguro!! Where are you?!

[ ooc; if anyone wants to hit yuuji with an event prompt, or something more specific, feel free to send me a PM ♥ ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ It's really embarrassing being the center of attention at work like this, with his coworkers now glancing at him with delight in their eyes at the wholesome scene. He's relieved that they're respectful enough to start giving the both of them some privacy though.

The random gift-giving ... is just a very confusing situation. Megumi doesn't accept it yet, waiting for the explanation first. It doesn't help that the gift looks rather large and extravagant. ]

... Did I miss an occasion? [ Did he forget his own birthday? Or is this some holiday in Hell that he doesn't know about? ]

[ who the hell reacts this way to a gift?!! no one but megumi himself, and yet he couldn’t help but laugh a bit. a part of him anticipated this kind of reaction, and therefore yuuji didn’t feel discouraged at all. he held up the box with a bigger smile now; the pink bow is the star of the whole display. look at it! so big and so vibrant! ]

I don’t need an excuse to offer you a gift!

[ he steps closer, pushing it gently against the other’s hands— forcing him to accept it. ]

Open it!

[ Surely Yuuji must have some understanding that randomly receiving a large gift without any occasion or precedent is a weird and confusing experience. ]

This is a bit much, isn't it ... [ But given Yuuji's insistence, Megumi obliges, opening the box. When he sees the black sword inside, he's at a loss for words for a second. It looks very similar to the one he used to use back home. Picking up the sword, he examines it further, getting a sense of how it feels in his hand. ]

You got this for me? [ It's a bit of a lackluster response, but this is Megumi, and you have to read further into his expression and body language to decipher how he's feeling. Any trace of annoyance or skepticism from before has vanished from him. He's quietly astonished, regarding the gift with keen interest as examines the make and detailing. He definitely likes it. ]

[ he's too excited, unable to hold still when megumi started unwrapping the thing— he was so damn slow yuuji wanted to rip it off himself! but, he kept himself on a leash, until the other asked if it was truly for him; the words barely reach an end before yuuji bursts out, throwing his hands up in the air. ]

Surprise!!! You have your own personal fancy sword!

[ he then catches his breath with a huff. wow, he needs to calm down, and he did while still keeping that wild grin. a man with few words, as always, but yuuji knew his friend too well. he can see it in those delicate features of his, the tiny glimmer of joy behind those eyes— honestly? yuuji couldn't remember the last time he felt this happy. it's one of those things that kept pressing him, over and over again, especially whenever megumi left the apartment on his own.

yuuji couldn't continue hovering over him; megumi had every right to have his own personal affairs, meet others, go out and do whatever he wants. this is the only answer that made sense. well, until they get their powers back— ]

Do you like it? I made sure it looks like the one back home ...

[ This would normally be Megumi's cue to scold him for making a scene, but that doesn't quite happen today. Instead, the other boy keeps his interest fixed on the gift, examining the elegant and sharp curves of the blade, taking note of the weight of the hilt that was just light enough to be maneuverable, and just heavy enough to feel stable in his grip. ]

It's ... well-made. [ He's nowhere near a weapons expert, not when compared to Maki, but he's used enough different weapons in his time as a sorcerer to know a good blade from a cheap one that will break when it matters. He doesn't know how Yuuji had the know-how to pick out this blade, but he's not oblivious to the sentiment behind it all. That Yuuji was concerned his safety here in Hell, that Yuuji had taken such keen notice of the blade he used to use, taken in the smaller details ... The care and attention that had gone into this gesture does not go unnoticed.

Nor does it go unappreciated. Megumi steps to the side briefly, face turned away from his friend with his hair obscuring some of it. As he considers the sentiment involved, he's reminded that he has someone to turn to in this place called Hell, that there's someone out there who cares about him and pays attention to him. It's a notion that can feel unnatural and difficult to process, but it also conjures up that light feeling of happiness.

It's a subtle change in his countenance, but he allows himself a small smile. ]

[ and he could see it.

it's not his first time catching megumi smiling, often at times when they hang out outside of school, whether they are shopping, catching a movie, or enjoying some fast food, there's always a smile here and there even when megumi had a habit of complaining, hushing them down, or being plain embarrassed when they act stupid. however, this is a different kind of smile. it's soft, almost timid in its beauty. an expression he never thought the other could make. it had an appeal to it that made yuuji feel all sorts of things; stirring a spark of interest that he couldn't understand.

but, it's warm. as if he's yearning for — something? ]

Maybe now you can leave my kitchen knife alone!

[ yuuji disregards it, rolling his shoulders back and throwing himself into his usual foolery that worked perfectly as a protective veil. whatever that odd moment was— it's not the right time to try to figure it out. again, like anything that's remotely overwhelming in his life, the sorcerer's coping skills advised him to stifle it. ]

By the way, I had to throw it out. I will never be able to use it to cook my meals again. You owe me a watermelon-pattern knife!

[ So. Megumi does not notice the slight pause in Yuuji's facial expression because he was turned away psorkmyj ]

[ They settle into their usual dynamic quite quickly, engaging in a bit of banter - or perhaps it is Yuuji who settles first with his usual foolery. Megumi himself feels less inclined to be blunt or dismissive in this moment, that lingering pleasant feeling still sitting in his chest and making him lenient. ]

Oh, the knife ... [ There's a brief moment his defiant personality considers arguing that it was still usable, but upon more rational thought it most certainly isn't. It's ... logical to not want to cook using a knife that might have been used to cut a few people. That's disgusting. There's a bit of a sheepish look now. ]

I'll get you a new one. [ And it will not be cute. At least at the first attempt. ]

A watermelon-pattern knife.

[ he repeats it, slower, more firm— he knows megumi will pick the most boring knife in the whole store and call it even; that's totally unacceptable. he shakes his head, walking past the other and towards a nearby counter. he then drops his heavy backpack on the wooden surface with a loud thud, urging the top to unfold— exposing a glimpse of all those cursed figures stockpiling over one another. a fair collection he got from the street thugs.

he returns his attention to the other, ignoring the fact he probably brought bad fortune into this bookstore, and instead pivots on what truly matters here.

his stomach. ]

I'm starving. When are you done with your shift?

[ Flatly: ] I heard you the first time.

[ Though he had, he did have plans to buy a regular knife of good quality, because that was simply more practical to him. He now knows Yuuji is fixated on the knife having watermelon patterns, though. That only makes the task harder for an illogical reason. However, since he claims responsibility for the wrong doing, he'll accede to the request.

Anyway, moving on. ] Another 15 minutes. [ His attention is immediately turned to the figures stockpiled in Yuuji's backpack. Megumi could sense some amass of cursed energy emanating from his friend, and the reason for it is clear as day the moment he catches a glimpse of what the boy had brought along. ]

Where did you get those?

Edited 2022-05-25 21:54 (UTC)

Ah, well ... the big guy called us in today. Our job tonight is to collect the cursed objects from the stupid gangs. They've been using it to terrorize others.

[ needless to say, yuuji didn't waste time negotiating nor called for peace; choosing to beat the shit out of them instead and speed up the process. while he has an impressive collection to bring back to their base, he knew he could do more. he should do more— after all, the plan is to climb up the ranks. he can't be slacking anymore.

it can wait, though. the night is young; he can still spend some time with an old friend first. ]

Also, Shuten and Tamamo are acting like idiots and killing each other. But, hey! It's a great time to test your new sword if the situation begs for it.

[ if megumi chose to take a quick glimpse towards the window, he will see the unconscious bodies that are scattered all over the street, the loud chatters and screams from the distance- just another day in hell. ]

Maybe we should stay together tonight ... you never know what might happen.

I was planning on it. [ Megumi's taken to staying over most nights, given the unease he feels when he goes too long without hearing from his friend. His space in Yuuji's apartment has all the elements of himself - some books, his neatly pressed clothing and sheets - while his own assigned apartment continues to be more or less barren. He doesn't know when he's taken to wanting to keep an eye on Yuuji, but it might have started after that first time the boy had lost his life.

The situation between Shuten and Tamamo is definitely noticed. Megumi's thankful, however, that Enma does not appear to be involved. Sure, Yuuji does still have to throw himself into danger to control the violence, but he at least won't be actively targeted for now. That feels like a situation they can deal with if it comes to that. The youkai aren't as insanely strong as special grade curses.

His main concern right now are the objects in Yuuji's bag. Megumi fixes his gaze on Yuuji. ] Too much exposure to the Haniwa figures can affect your mind. Have you noticed anything different?

[ Just in case! ]

... Good.

[ because— they never talked about that, right? he knew about the notice megumi had received for his new accommodation a few weeks ago, and while the conversation was mutually ignored it always lingered in the back of yuuji's mind; like an ominous threat. what if one day the other boy decides he wanted his own space and moved out? after all the time they've spent together, and how they end up memorizing each other's routine and small habits— he can't imagine going back to an empty apartment again.

he looks like he wants to say something but then shakes it off with a casual smile and a nod. okay, maybe right now is not the best time for this little confession. ]

Not yet, but I'll be honest ... I can feel it getting to me. [ he glanced over megumi's shoulder, eyeing his bag and wondering if it was a good idea to drag those things here. ] We might need to drop them off at the Enma's department before getting dinner. If you don't mind?

[ if megumi is allowed to enter the premises? he's unsure, but there is one way to find out. ]

[ If Yuuji is involved, he will enter whether or not he is allowed psokrymj ]

[ Megumi takes a sideward glance at the figures, and then back at Yuuji's face, the stoic expression on his face unchanging. Despite his bored countenance, his concern for his friend is growing. Megumi has seen how the exposure can lead to bouts of hysteria, and given that Yuuji has been carrying multiple statues the chances are higher. There's a nod at the suggestion to drop the statues off as soon as possible. That's the most logical thing to do.

He steps closer to Yuuji, closing some of the distance between them to study the expression on his face, green eyes peering into brown ones. He's noting any possible changes, whether psychological, physiological or in cursed energy. With how the aisles in the bookstore are narrow, Yuuji might feel a little backed into the bookshelf behind him. ]

Getting to you how? [ Elaborate. ]

[ it's subtle, but yuuji's shoulders visibly tensed when the other closed in the gap between them, but it didn't reflect in his features. what he assumed was a brief moment of megumi sneaking a closer look— turned out to linger into their conversation, in which yuuji kept his tone lower than normal. after all, there is no reason to raise his voice when they are sharing this close space. ]

Uhhh ...

[ he, slowly, shifts his gaze to the side— not in an act of timidity, but in serious reflection. how can he explain what he's going through in a coherent sentence? and without triggering unnecessary panic? ]

So, during my walk here? The scenery around me tends to change into something ... familiar? It's on and off. It's like ... I'm in the city in one second, and then I'm in Sukuna's domain in another.

[ the only reason he didn't feel the need to bring it up earlier is that yuuji is still lucid and aware it's nothing more than mind-tricks; their department was very careful in issuing the warnings, acknowledging their staff might experience terrifying illusions and encouraged them to work in pairs. guess yuuji thought he can handle it himself.

he then shrugged his shoulders, catching megumi's eyes again. ] I know it's those things messing with me. It will stop once we get rid of them, right?

[ There's a spark of worry when Yuuji mentions Sukuna's domain. While Megumi understands that the primary side effect of the exposure is a hallucination, they can't be too certain given the fact that they still don't know what happened to Ryomen Sukuna. Yuuji seems to have a special body, after all - he seems naturally inclined to act as a host. Prolonged exposure to the doll's cursed effects could have a different sort of effect on him, one unlike that Megumi has seen in the youkai or other souls. These concerns are running through Megumi's mind but he doesn't voice them, expression still unchanging. ]

That's probably the case. [ That's about all they can really do, since he has this gut feeling destroying the dolls will have a nastier consequence.

At the back of his mind, he remembers conversations his coworkers have had about their experiences with hysterical youkai affecting by the dolls, and the general fear they had towards them. Leaning in, he speaks softly at Yuuji's ear, grabbing his forearm in a tug. ]

We're leaving now. Let's not alarm anyone in here.

Edited 2022-05-28 23:20 (UTC)

[ and they are closer now.

so close— he could almost feel the touch of megumi's lips against his skin, almost teasing. that boy's voice was an odd mix of soft yet hoarse at the same time, equally mature and delicate. yuuji knew that he was supposed to pay attention to those words, but he struggled to keep the motivation, instead his gaze shifted lower, tracing over those broad shoulders, further down to where megumi's hand gripped into him.

the air is heavy all of a sudden, warm— but not in a bad way. when megumi pulls away, yuuji's gaze followed; his own cheeks burn in a subtle shade of pink. he blinks and took a moment to consider, frowning a bit before ... nodding?

is that what he's supposed to do? just agree with him? agree with whatever the fuck megumi is saying because he wasn't paying attention. ]

... Leaving now? We're leaving? [ a beat. ] Ah, okay! Yes, let's get out of here.

[ that's when the lights above them start to flicker in a frantic rhythm. a classic omen when a number of cursed objects huddle in one spot for too long, creating that sinister atmosphere. the bookstore begins to reek of that toxic energy, looming in every corner. even when their powers are muted, the sorcerers could still sense the hostility. ]

Edited 2022-05-29 16:58 (UTC)

[ Megumi did notice how his friend appeared to be oddly distracted, but he paid this no heed, focusing instead on resolving their pressing situation. At the corner of his eye, before he turns away, he did spot that tinge of pink that colour Yuuji's face. It doesn't seem entirely befitting of the mood, but it's not entirely out of place either, given that the other boy would occasionally go rosy in the cheeks when he was smiling or laughing heartily about something. Megumi doesn't know what brought this on, but he opts to focus on the current problem.

Around them, he can sense that sinister cursed energy, dripping from the walls like it's practically ectoplasm. Some of the lights flicker, causing some alarm among the patrons and other staff members in the store. When one of his co-workers starts to complain about feeling dizzy, that's Megumi's cue to start moving. ]

It's cursing the place. We have to go before it gets worse. [ Grabbing onto Yuuji's wrist, he pretty much starts tugging the other boy towards the exit. When one of his co-workers glances in his direction, he politely but curtly explains what he's doing. ]

I'm clocking out early.

[ That co-worker, a mischievous bakeneko, holds a hand to her mouth in feigned astonishment.

"That's rare of you, Fushiguro-chan. Do you have an evening date, perhaps?"

The expression on his face gets more deadpan because this is not the time psokymj ]

[ he allowed megumi to grab him, tagging along while looking a bit baffled at the start, before he could process anything— yuuji found himself falling into another hallucination. Malevolent Shrine stands before him, the crimson blood-tainted water swirls up to his knees, drenching his clothes; the stench of death in the air, the endless sight of animal skulls spread to the horizon ... but no one is around. it was always empty, and the king of curses is nowhere in sight.

and yet, there is an eerie feel about this domain, and he couldn't understand what it was.

he found himself back in the bookstore again, sighing heavily as those illusions started to have their physical burden on him; growing a bit exhausted. he watched as megumi exchanged a brief conversation with a fellow co-worker, unmindful of what was said at first until he heard the word 'date'. was it a tease or did megumi actually have a romantic date planned? when did he get to meet someone so soon? a moment of pure stupidity on yuuji's end, but let's blame it on being pulled into uncomfortable visions.

he shakes his head with a grunt before he reached over -without breaking away from the other's hold- and grabbed his bag, tossing it over his shoulder. ]

Lead the way. I think I'm losing it ...

[ he trusts his friend knew where the enma's offices are, so he will depend on him to navigate him towards their destination, as for yuuji — he knew he'll have another hallucination soon, and he had a really, really bad feeling about this one. ]

[ The lack of cajoling from Yuuji at that teasing comment by the co-worker is indication itself that something isn't quite right. When the other boy is quiet, that's when Megumi gets worried. Though he's focused on leading them towards the Enma offices, he steals occasional glances at Yuuji, monitoring his condition. He looks quite dazed, and that's a terrible sign. When the boy speaks, that confirms it for him.

An anxiety sets in now, and it shows on Megumi's face, eyes widening as his brows relax. Yuuji's a special case - he's had the experience of a malevolent entity living inside him, and it's unpredictable how he would respond to this level of malicious crused energy. One of Megumi's fears from back when they were alive sets in now - If Yuuji were to lose himself, could he come back?

It frustrates him that there's nothing that he can do. He doesn't know how useful this will be, but ... ]

Focus on my voice. [ He'll try to be a grounding presence, a point of focus to keep Yuuji's consciousness from slipping. Megumi's hand slides down from where it was grabbing the other boy's arm and he finds Yuuji's fingers, taking his hand, giving him a firm but affectionate squeeze.

Talking. Will talking help? Though, he might only be considering this as a strategy because he wants to keep Yuuji talking. He needs that constant reassurance that he hasn't lost his friend. ]

Was it difficult to ... get that sword?

Edited 2022-06-02 03:29 (UTC)

[ focus on his voice— yeah, he can do that, or try to. yuuji returns the gesture, squeezing back but not as hard; almost fearful of a full hold. he didn't know why, but had a feeling touching the other right now might drag him into whatever the fuck is happening in his mind. as they leave the bookstore behind, the sorcerer took in some of the fresh air, allowed the cool breeze to tame his now feverish skin, closing his eyes before they start to walk further away from any popular hubs of an active fight.

yuuji didn't seem scared per se? just— easily distracted. he glanced at megumi when he dropped that question, smiling a bit. ]

No, Hizen helped me out. He's a good friend of mine from Shuten, who happened to be a sword expert, so I asked for his help. I'll invite him over for dinner one night, and you'll get to meet him.

[ he takes in a breath, relaxing his shoulders, walking by megumi's side as they held hands. perhaps if they kept the conversation going, he wouldn't fall into another illusion; it kept his mind sober and focused on something else.

that's when he finally asked- ]

Are you ... seeing someone? I heard something about a 'date'?

[ Megumi's got his attention split two ways right now - between the general surroundings and the way they're going, and the boy he's locking hands with. Though he isn't explicit with his concern, it's easily seen in the glances he steals of Yuuji's face, the fingers he keeps tethering the boy to himself. ]

Hizen, huh ... [ It makes sense. He would be surprised if Yuuji were able to source out a sword of this quality and make without support from someone with the expertise. Megumi himself would probably struggle with this, often defaulting to Maki back home for advice on weapon use. It's also no surprise to him that Yuuji seems to have made some good friends already. It's good that he did ...

The next question ... makes him pause. So he is really concerned about his friend, but he can't hear that and not give the boy an incredulous look. ]

... Why are you still focused on that? [ wat ]

[ he blinks slowly; unsure of what to make of megumi's expression. was it such an odd question to ask? they are friends and they've been living together for a while, it's not really a big secret if one of them decided to date. ]

I'm curious, so I asked.

[ he hums a bit, eyeing the road ahead as he mulls over the available options. this might seem rude— but megumi came off as someone who is quite picky. who would capture his attention so fast? he hasn't been here for long. then again, is it really surprising? the city practically bleeds with sex appeal, and what is the most popular form of entertainment here? sex. surely some people already made a move on someone like the other sorcerer, who is—

...well, attractive.

he readjusts his bag, the figures rattling together loudly as he continued. ]

I'd tell you if I started dating someone ...

[ It probably is normal between friends to talk about dating? Megumi doesn't have much to go off beyond the friends he's made at Jujutsu High, so he doesn't know. He didn't exactly have a normal childhood after all. This isn't a topic he would initiate on a regular day, and especially not one he finds appropriate talking about when his friend is on the verge of losing his mind.

But fine, he'll humour him. ]

Obviously not -- don't be stupid. [ He doesn't think he gives off the impression at all that he's interested??? He would assume that Yuuji would know that, but the other boy is probably distracted and focusing on random things right now in his altered mental state. ]

I don't care about that sort of thing. [ 🠔 Dying alone. ]

Yeah, I don't believe you.

[ he teased with a smirk. another heavy exhale follows, as if the mere act of talking is exhausting him at this point, and oddly not the heavy weight of his loaded bag. now that felt fine; they can stay where they are against his back. ]

No one likes to be ... alone ...

[ whatever comes after that final word dimmed into an eerie silence, and he's back in that god-awful domain. again, no sign of sukuna and that is until he decided to glance down, the sight of his own hands clears slowly, only to realize they didn't belong to him. the sharp inhuman claws, painted in dark purple. his heart drops at that familiar vision, at those black markings circling each wrist— but yuuji didn't panic. not until, of course, those illusions had to slither deep into his own anxieties.

so, finally, he gets a taste of this 'hell'. it's been too good to be true.

yuuji started stuttering in his footing, slowing down, hand squeezing megumi's until he just ... stopped. his features grew pale as he was staring into something the other sorcerer couldn't see. there's fear in his eyes, but heavily repressed, and there is grief ... also, repressed.

he stayed quiet, waited for it to pass, and once he was back to where they stood— he didn't say anything. it might be uncomfortable silence for the other, but it's fine. yuuji will be fine. they just need to ... keep moving. ]

[ He isn't lying when he says that, though? At least, he doesn't think that he is. Megumi considers it for a second before he responds to that. When he associates 'dating' with kissing and having sex, it makes him slightly nervous and doesn't feel like something he really needs in his life. However, when he thinks about being with someone, settling into a comfortable routine, spending the rest of his existence - however long in Hell or when he returns home - with them in that union and sense of 'Home', it's not bad. He doesn't mind it. Actually, to be completely honest with himself, it sounds really nice.

But it also feels unobtainable, so he isn't going to bother considering it.

He's about to further deny Yuuji's assumption, but when he looks up he notes that the boy has slipped away, eyes wide and ridden with fear, his palm clammy. Megumi steps closer, worry in his eyes. Yuuji has his full attention now, and he gives their fingers a squeeze, running a thumb over the boy's calloused knuckles. ]

Itadori --

[ It feels like his words aren't reaching him, like Yuuji is caught in a curse Megumi cannot see or understand, and it's terrifying him. It's not often that he sees Yuuji so affected by something, and Megumi's developed a sensitivity to the other boy's emotions. Yuuji is a boy who can look at objectively horrifying scenes, fight horrific and evil beings, with no apparent sense of fear and only the belief that he can what he needs to. That's why when Megumi sees him so panicked, he's driven to intervene. He has to bring him back somehow.

It's not usual for him, but Megumi tries something new - he initiates a more intimate sort of touch. It's hard to explain where this had come from, but perhaps the concern he feels had mixed in with his own personal affection. He reaches out, patting the other boy on the pink hairs of his head and sliding his long fingers down to the side of his face, angling his chin so they make eye contact. The touch is gentle and the affection behind it cannot be mistaken. ]

You're fine. Keep focusing on me.

[ it was hard not to think about anything other than what might come next, and that thought terrified yuuji more than what he had already seen. this illusion had a steady pattern, a moving plot into a conclusion that will hit him where it really hurts, and they knew how to do it. whoever the fuck rooted those figures knew they can manipulate and trigger each individual's traumas to life. the crimson water in sukuna's domain, the seeping blood— the glimpse of corpses from afar, coming closer with each vision.

... and he could almost recognize them.

he didn't want to see it anymore. he didn't want to go through it. the fear is so crippling despite the uneasy composure yuuji managed to imitate; always guarded from sharing too much. until he felt megumi's hand against his cheek, beckoning him to tilt his head to meet his eyes— what he could see is concern and a foreign hint of affection behind those greenish hues. the thought of lying to his friend with an 'I'm fine' didn't even cross his mind, not this time. instead, he exhaled a soft breath, shaking his head a bit- ]

I know it's- ...

[ -fake. not real. it's those stupid figures fucking up with his head. yuuji knows; he's aware and lucid to understand he's still here with megumi and not in that abyss. and yet— his voice breaks a bit, in a way megumi probably never heard before. another exhale followed, cheeks a bit feverish up to the tip of each ear. ]

... but it still hurts.

[ there is always that moment when a line is crossed and one reaches a limit, physically, emotionally, and mentally. yuuji had seen plenty of gruesome imagery in his life but being taunted by his deceased loved ones is something he knew, at this stage, could not handle. the hallucination is building up to it, he knew he was being pulled closer, he knew the endgame is to see their mutilated faces— he couldn't do it.

he begins to shrug off the binds on his shoulders, loosening their grip until he hears the loud thud of his bag striking the ground. free of that burden, yuuji takes a step toward the other, he then slowly leans in to— rest his head on megumi's shoulder; his arms remain on each side for now. he closed his eyes, not yet relaxing into it, muscles so stiff against the other. ]

[ This is ... new. He was fully expecting Yuuji to brush him off, assert that he was fine when it's clear as day to someone as attentive as Megumi that he isn't. He fully expected to be left with that uncertain feeling that he could be doing more to reassure his friend, but his hands are tied because the comfort is not being accepted. There's more honestly here, that admittance to weakness he rarely ever sees from his usual headstrong friend. It compels his attention, like nothing around them - not the children playing at the side, not the chatter of passersby - matters at all. His full attention is on one boy.

It still hurts.

Of course it does. Yuuji's gone through trauma after trauma and he's been bodying it all with a smile on his face. At times it's left Megumi wondering how genuine his bright smiles truly were, if the light within him was starting to dim.

The thud of the bag on the ground is startling, but he doesn't feel compelled to remind his friend to treat those objects with delicacy, far more important matters commanding his attention right now. The distance that is closed between them comes as a surprise as something that happens so rarely, and the weight on his right shoulder is heavy, but not from any actual physical load.

Megumi allows proximity, feeling none of his usual aversion towards touch. He takes a moment to consider what to say in response. ]

It's okay to feel hurt ... [ For the friend who hides the more vulnerable and suffering sides of himself, that feels like the right thing to say. Megumi initiates the contact this time, hands encircling Yuuji, one settling by his back and one resting on the back of his neck, allowing him closer. ]

You've had a very difficult time so far.

[ It's my fault, the voice from within cuts in to remind him. It's my fault that Itadori was stripped from his mundane life. It's my fault he has to go through all this suffering and do things outside his nature. If he's here in Hell because of those things he's had to do, that's my fault too.

He doesn't say any of that, however, because he won't make this about himself. Holding the boy closer, Megumi gives him a few reassuring pats on his head. He doesn't know what Yuuji is actually seeing, but he can hasten a guess. Megumi thinks about what to say next, before deciding that the only thing he can really offer right now is his honesty. Anything else would feel cheap and disingenuous. ]

Even so, you keep trying to do the right thing, and ... I think that makes you kinder than anyone.

[ There's a pause. He doesn't want to talk too much, but he does feel like he needs to reaffirm this: ]

That's why I saved you.

Edited 2022-06-06 22:54 (UTC)

[ a part of him expected megumi not to entertain this, not going as far as shoving him away in a harsh manner, but at least remind his friend that they had work to do, and it isn't the time to give in to pressure. that boy had his ways of pulling yuuji out of a toxic mindset, often distracting him— but it didn't happen this time.

if his muscles were tensed before, that strain doubled when he felt those hands pull him closer, one settled on his head; fingers brushing through his hair gently. the tone of megumi's voice is oddly soothing, hefty with empathy he knew he isn't deserving of, yet came out genuine. he believed every single word he said, took it to heart, and then with a much heavier exhale, yuuji relaxed, shoulders dropped, and with it— tears rolled down his flustered cheeks.

he could not explain why that was more painful to hear than consoling as it was intended to be? why is he crippled by self-loathing to the point his mind and heart couldn't welcome megumi's words? keen on rejecting them. because it was easier to deflect than take it in, isn't it? he's too afraid of what might happen to him if he finally allowed himself to— grief.

'Thank you ...' he really wished he could say it without falling apart.

yuuji didn't even notice he was biting down on his lower lip, hard enough for it to bleed; another shaky breath pursued, and when his arms returned the gesture, they weren't as gentle. it was a tight embrace, fingers gripping hard into the back of megumi's shirt, slightly pulling the fabric up and exposing some of the skin around his waistline. yuuji didn't speak until he made sure he's calm enough for it. ]

I ... need you to help me.

[ pathetically, he needs to be saved again. once this is over, he will fucking hate himself until no end, but right now? he's desperate, scared, and he's so, so tired of doing this alone. gently, he rests his head against megumi's, voice muffled as he pressed his lips against the other's shoulder. ]

Would you please carry them for me?

[ truth is: it probably won't affect his friend at all. yuuji had been around them for almost a few hours now until they started influencing his mind; the short trip to the enma office would only last a few minutes. he trusts megumi won't suffer like he is. and yet- ]

... I'm sorry for asking.

[ The return of the embrace, strong arms holding him desperately, does startle him. While this level of physical proximity would usually be something he would reject, he doesn't feel any such inclination today, his body relaxing into the boy's arms, allowing himself to be held. Megumi cannot see the boy's face, but he can feel a slight dampness at his shoulder, like there's a hint of ... tears? That makes his eyes widen, and he glances briefly at the head resting on his shoulder. He doesn't know what exactly Yuuji had seen in that hallucination, but perhaps it was enough for the dam to break open, all those pent up emotions pouring out like floodwater. He wants to be here for him in this moment. ]

... I was planning on doing that. [ He didn't even need to be asked. That was his intention right from when Yuuji dropped his bag onto the floor. It's in Megumi's nature to want to take over, assume responsibility, and that goes tenfold when his friends are too compromised to keep going.

Naturally, he has his guard switched on for any potential threats given the turf war, but he otherwise gives Yuuji his full attention, gentle fingers still brushing through his hair. Take all the time you need, is what that implies. Though he doesn't make mention of it, he really doesn't think there's any need to apologise for depending on a friend. ]

[ — and yet, yuuji wouldn't burden his friend with the whole meltdown, opting to resist the temptation of giving in and instead composing himself when he got that reassurance. he closed his eyes, calming himself just enough so he could guide his hand up, wiping away those tears. despite all the anxieties, and how bad this situation is— yuuji isn't oblivious of this rare, shared moment between them and the way megumi's body felt against his own; the undeniable soothing warmth that hushed down all his demons.

sure, it wasn't their first time sharing a hug, but it was the first time megumi reciprocates it. the way his hand caressed through his hair, their closeness, and how it made yuuji feel — safe. god, when was the last time he felt like he could drop his guard and depend on someone else to take care of him? he can't even remember.

he slowly pulls his head back, his hands loosening their hold as they settled on megumi's hips in a lazy, half-embrace. his lashes are still drenched, hanging low over his weary eyes, and yet he managed to offer his friend a small smile. ]

Thank you.

[ he regards the other for another few seconds before breaking it off completely, stepping back. he'd allow megumi to reach for the bag himself, unsure if he should be touching it again. ]

We can walk faster this time. Get rid of this thing and never look back.

[ It feels selfish that there's a part of him that found that embrace pleasant, that warmth shared between them and the knowledge that he was trusted enough to be depended on. Megumi offers only his patience, waiting for Yuuji to settle and giving him all the time he needs to regain his composure. When they do break apart, the other boy's hands hanging off his hips, Megumi takes this opportunity to steal a glance at the type of face he's making out of curiousity. There's a bit of a soul-wrenching feeling when he sees the tears welled up in Yuuji's eyes, the normally headstrong and positive boy looking so emotionally exhausted yet still trying to keep up his smile. Megumi's never considered himself a very empathetic person (lies), but it hurts ... to see his dear friend hurt. He looks down now, breaking the eye contact to offer his friend more privacy. ]

Sounds good. [ His hands slide off the other boy as he pulls away, and they move on now, staying focused on the goal at hand. As Megumi picks up the backpack and puts his arms through the slings, he can't keep that image out of his mind - the pain he could see in Yuuji's eyes. It wouldn't surprise him at all if the other boy is always feeling this way, given the stacking traumas he's been hit with in his short life, the burden he was saddled with for the unforgivable sin of being a kind person. It makes Megumi think about whether he treats him well enough. Maybe he should cherish him more. Yuuji ate those fingers to save him, after all.

Eyes still fixed on the ground, Megumi turns in the direction of the Enma tower, signaling that he intends to lead the way. There's a pause of consideration, before he extends his hand again, fingers bumping into Yuuji's, curling around his ring and pinky. The start of joined hands, but a bit bashful. ]

Follow me ...

[ in which his hand, subconsciously, followed megumi's lead, reaching out to return the gesture. that's when yuuji unhooks their fingers so he could curl them in a proper grip. the way their hands settled together so easily gave an impression they've done it many times, and they knew each other's touch by now. a rare sense of harmony that kept yuuji grounded when everything around him is falling apart and bursting into flames.

the influences of those cursed figures are restrained, but not gone. it left yuuji feeling uneasy, definitely anxious about what might come. the visions never returned, but that somehow made him more on the edge, his mind obsessing on when will it happen? and at times, that's even more distressing than going through it. there are no further complaints from his side, and he allowed megumi to take the lead until they reached the main gate to the enma's offices.

as expected— the security wouldn't allow an outsider inside their facilities, and before megumi would start any act of retaliation, yuuji let go of his hand and turned to face him. ]

It's okay! I got it from here.

[ he really didn't want to carry those things again, but they made it this far— yuuji can handle it a few minutes until he delivers it in. ]

I'll be quick. Just wait for me here.

[ Yuuji was right to cut in before Megumi could retaliate, because if left to his own devices, he would find some way in no matter what anyone felt about it (and it would surely spell trouble for him). There's still anxiety that he has about leaving his friend alone, an anxiety he knows will spike once he's not able to see him, but Yuuji isn't exactly giving him any choice in the matter but sit tight. ]

Itadori ... [ He reaches out like he wants to stop him, but Yuuji's gone in a flash. Logically, it's better this way and they'll be able to get rid of the offensive objects quicker. With a sigh, Megumi lets him go, trying his best to quell his inner nerves.

He's relieved to see the boy emerge a few aggravating minutes after. ]

How are you feeling?

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