Who ⬤ Emily and open! What ⬤ Monthly catchall - clinic work, music club, etc. When ⬤ Over May. Where ⬤ Across the city. Content Warnings ⬤ TBA if needed.
[Emily's words thread like fine silk across her vision, thin strands of reason standing clearly out to her. Despite this she feels as though she needs to tear them away— rip the webs from her sight before they become too much. This discussion is already so much.
She runs her teeth over her bottom lip briefly.] I understand the sentiment you're trying to describe... but there will always be monsters who will try to take advantage of someone of your character— who will take advantage of this place. It's simply too good to be true.
[Her shoulders fall slightly.]
There will always be monsters. [Can't you see, she wants to say— the monsters are already here.]
That is a risk I have considered and am willing to take.
[her hands fold on her lap, and something resolved settles in her gaze.]
I will not deny that it's a strong possibility, given the type of land we find ourselves in. If someone comes in to take advantage, I will have to bear that on my own head, as a miscalculation of judgement. But...that alone cannot prevent me from doing what I know will help others and is within my power to do. Even if I personally do not care for someone, as a physician, I must set that aside and view them as a patient who entrusts their life to my hands.
Still, I thank you for your concern. Truthfully, I'm glad to find someone willing to raise the flaws in my plan. It cements that they aren't just wayward doubts to be brushed aside.
Forgive me. [The tense energy seems to leave her all at once as she offers Emily a sheepish smile.] I was curious about this place and yet I ended up interrogating you instead. I suppose some habits are harder to beat than most... but I'm glad you understand my concerns.
It's been a challenge to say the least. [Her eyes flicker down briefly.] To be walking side by side with the demons I've seen in this place.
[She shakes her head.] Dyer-san, did you also have a clinic back where you lived...?
[and then lost it all, in one fatal moment, but she had.]
It was a fair amount of work to keep it together, to continue giving aid to those who needed it. And coming here...when I saw that people were nervous to aid those of us thrust into factions without our choice, or saw fit to bleed someone dry for honestly seeking help, it felt like a natural thing to begin again. Maybe it's arrogant, but being able to fill that need for people...why would I hold back?
[she bows her head for a moment.]
Demons may walk through my door, but...by coming here, they consent to follow my rules, and my care. I have to trust in that.
[looking back up, she offers Shinobu a sincere smile.]
Please, feel free to keep pointing out where I haven't thought this through - better you do so than I find the gaps at the worst time.
[Her large eyes watch Emily's subtle movements and for a moment her expression smooths out into true understanding. She nods once, her hands somewhat relaxing on her lap.] If they're coming here then they have some trust in you. That ought to be enough, to trust someone... to know that you're safe in a place like this.
[She seems to hesitate— lips parting briefly before letting loose a breath.] This city needs a place like this. It really could be a haven if things truly did go awry.
...
Do you know Toraguma? His faction— the Shuten— are named after an ancient demon who they called Shuten-douji. The little drunkard. It was said that he favored wine above everything else. He loved it even more than the limbs of the young women he would kidnap from the village below. It wasn't until three priests tricked him and beheaded him did the land know peace.
Dyer-san, [Shinobu tilts her head down.] I want nothing more than to contribute positively to this place, and I will do my best to live up to that. But if Toraguma himself, or if anyone else liked him crossed my path... I cannot say that I wouldn't try to go for his head.
[She lowers her head even further, until her chin is practically touching her chest.]
If you could accept me into the clinic despite knowing that... then I would be truly grateful.
I cannot blame you for your misgivings, Miss Kochou. Nor would I ask you to change your way of life. How you think and feel is your own to handle.
[it's a difficult situation though. if Toraguma himself walked through those doors? well, firstly she'd have to wonder why he would come to this place instead of a hospital, but beyond that...]
You're asking to come into this clinic, and from that I must assume you had experience with such in the past. While I welcome the aid, as the more Lost Souls we have the better, there is something I would have to ask you to uphold, even if it pains you. Being in this place, in the position of giving care...while you are here working, one's personal biases cannot come into this work. No matter what, even if you have every right to want to see them die in front of you. This should supersede even orders from your clan - we do not act as ourselves here, but as caretakers, physicians, with loyalty to our patients first.
However, I will not ask the impossible of you. Should you find yourself utterly incapable of carrying out treatment on someone, then I would expect that you would find another person to take over and act in your place.
[that's a fair compromise, in her eyes. not rejecting the help, or forcing the young woman to choke down every bias - but any less would undermine what this clinic aimed to be.]
[Who knows why oni do anything— why they do the things they do. They pillage, they kill and they ravage to their heart's content. Since coming to this place she's seen them more often than anything else here, and yet the inherent need to stay away continues to intersect with her longing for revenge.
Because it really was so laughably simple.]
Ah. [Is the almost ridiculous yet quiet response to Emily's words as she sits, reeling at the impact of those last few comments. Yes, before she was slaying demons she was reading articles on pharmaceuticals from the west, natural remedies and first aid. Before she decided to make her sword her beacon towards a clear path she wanted... to become a healer. She was one, at some point.
She blinks away the light filtering in from the windows above, her gaze lowering as she finally loosens her fingers and slowly stands. This time she bows properly at the waist, only stopping midway to give Emily a strained smile. Strained, but genuine nonetheless. It's a start.]
Dyer-san, thank you for being honest with me.
Please rely on me then, to help with as much as I'm able. Everything else will be... a work in progress.
[standing up herself, bowing somewhat in return - an acceptance, an agreement. that's all she'd ask from someone, to learn and do their best. not everyone was going to have the same mindset as her, and another set of hands that want to do something in this place...that was invaluable.]
...Emily, please. We're colleagues now, after all.
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no subject
[Emily's words thread like fine silk across her vision, thin strands of reason standing clearly out to her. Despite this she feels as though she needs to tear them away— rip the webs from her sight before they become too much. This discussion is already so much.
She runs her teeth over her bottom lip briefly.] I understand the sentiment you're trying to describe... but there will always be monsters who will try to take advantage of someone of your character— who will take advantage of this place. It's simply too good to be true.
[Her shoulders fall slightly.]
There will always be monsters. [Can't you see, she wants to say— the monsters are already here.]
no subject
[her hands fold on her lap, and something resolved settles in her gaze.]
I will not deny that it's a strong possibility, given the type of land we find ourselves in. If someone comes in to take advantage, I will have to bear that on my own head, as a miscalculation of judgement. But...that alone cannot prevent me from doing what I know will help others and is within my power to do. Even if I personally do not care for someone, as a physician, I must set that aside and view them as a patient who entrusts their life to my hands.
Still, I thank you for your concern. Truthfully, I'm glad to find someone willing to raise the flaws in my plan. It cements that they aren't just wayward doubts to be brushed aside.
no subject
Forgive me. [The tense energy seems to leave her all at once as she offers Emily a sheepish smile.] I was curious about this place and yet I ended up interrogating you instead. I suppose some habits are harder to beat than most... but I'm glad you understand my concerns.
It's been a challenge to say the least. [Her eyes flicker down briefly.] To be walking side by side with the demons I've seen in this place.
[She shakes her head.] Dyer-san, did you also have a clinic back where you lived...?
no subject
[and then lost it all, in one fatal moment, but she had.]
It was a fair amount of work to keep it together, to continue giving aid to those who needed it. And coming here...when I saw that people were nervous to aid those of us thrust into factions without our choice, or saw fit to bleed someone dry for honestly seeking help, it felt like a natural thing to begin again. Maybe it's arrogant, but being able to fill that need for people...why would I hold back?
[she bows her head for a moment.]
Demons may walk through my door, but...by coming here, they consent to follow my rules, and my care. I have to trust in that.
[looking back up, she offers Shinobu a sincere smile.]
Please, feel free to keep pointing out where I haven't thought this through - better you do so than I find the gaps at the worst time.
no subject
[She seems to hesitate— lips parting briefly before letting loose a breath.] This city needs a place like this. It really could be a haven if things truly did go awry.
...
Do you know Toraguma? His faction— the Shuten— are named after an ancient demon who they called Shuten-douji. The little drunkard. It was said that he favored wine above everything else. He loved it even more than the limbs of the young women he would kidnap from the village below. It wasn't until three priests tricked him and beheaded him did the land know peace.
Dyer-san, [Shinobu tilts her head down.] I want nothing more than to contribute positively to this place, and I will do my best to live up to that. But if Toraguma himself, or if anyone else liked him crossed my path... I cannot say that I wouldn't try to go for his head.
[She lowers her head even further, until her chin is practically touching her chest.]
If you could accept me into the clinic despite knowing that... then I would be truly grateful.
no subject
[it's a difficult situation though. if Toraguma himself walked through those doors? well, firstly she'd have to wonder why he would come to this place instead of a hospital, but beyond that...]
You're asking to come into this clinic, and from that I must assume you had experience with such in the past. While I welcome the aid, as the more Lost Souls we have the better, there is something I would have to ask you to uphold, even if it pains you. Being in this place, in the position of giving care...while you are here working, one's personal biases cannot come into this work. No matter what, even if you have every right to want to see them die in front of you. This should supersede even orders from your clan - we do not act as ourselves here, but as caretakers, physicians, with loyalty to our patients first.
However, I will not ask the impossible of you. Should you find yourself utterly incapable of carrying out treatment on someone, then I would expect that you would find another person to take over and act in your place.
[that's a fair compromise, in her eyes. not rejecting the help, or forcing the young woman to choke down every bias - but any less would undermine what this clinic aimed to be.]
no subject
Because it really was so laughably simple.]
Ah. [Is the almost ridiculous yet quiet response to Emily's words as she sits, reeling at the impact of those last few comments. Yes, before she was slaying demons she was reading articles on pharmaceuticals from the west, natural remedies and first aid. Before she decided to make her sword her beacon towards a clear path she wanted... to become a healer. She was one, at some point.
She blinks away the light filtering in from the windows above, her gaze lowering as she finally loosens her fingers and slowly stands. This time she bows properly at the waist, only stopping midway to give Emily a strained smile. Strained, but genuine nonetheless. It's a start.]
Dyer-san, thank you for being honest with me.
Please rely on me then, to help with as much as I'm able. Everything else will be... a work in progress.
no subject
...Emily, please. We're colleagues now, after all.