jigokulogs | beep beep delivery [open]

Entry tags:

beep beep delivery [open]

Who ⬤ Kimmuriel + open
What ⬤ not-local drow works a shitty yokai ubereats/delivery job, is mad about it. Also, substories!
When ⬤ Throughout May
Where ⬤ wherever deliveries can be found
Content Warnings ⬤ Nothing much, maybe some vague mentions of the weird things he has to deliver to yokai apartment blocks
Notes ⬤ This will probably be updated whenever I get around to cashing in my reward for a power so uhhh that'll happen eventually

A. delivery catchall

i. making the rounds
[ You might see Kimmuriel as you go about your day, silently puttering through the streets of Jigoku-cho on a violently colourful scooter, wearing an equally colourful happi coat and charmingly wonky mask. Sometimes the holding box on the back of his employer-given vehicle is steaming with heat, sometimes it's frosted with ice, and sometimes it's very securely tied down or absolutely plastered with cheap charms.

You might even catch him outside a shopfront or apartment block and carrying...something. Sometimes it's boxes of perfectly mundane ingredients, or a steaming bag of what's presumably food for whoever's inside. Sometimes it's...less obvious what it is and he's handling it like he'd really rather not be carrying it at all, because it's gross.

You know, normal things. ]

ii. for you?

[ If you've ordered takeout, you might find someone knocking on the door with your lunch/dinner/etc. Even if you are preoccupied or ignoring the knocking, it will continue to happen until you actually open the door. Kimmuriel is nothing if not patient. ]

This is yours? [ He holds out the bag for you to take, clearly unwilling to even put up a veneer of polite conversation at this point. ]

B. sidestories

i. hes never seen haniwa before but he hates them now

[ Kimmuriel has had to move these little bastard clay figurines out of his room like three times now and he's getting EXTREMELY tired of it. The fourth one he finds staring at him judgmentally from his sink is being held between a pair of kitchen tongs as he stares down the stairwell, contemplating whether to hurl it down the stairs just to vent his frustration despite knowing that's possibly the worst idea.

He has a huge headache and it's so tempting though..... ]

ii. FETCHQUESTS ARE THE WORST

[ Why did he agree to do this. Why is he chasing some yokai halfway across the city to return or possibly steal something from them, trying to get special bottlecaps from vending machine drinks, or doing half a dozen unspecified but apparently related tasks in order to get to the bottom of this?

Because he's too fucking stubborn to quit is why. ]

C. hanging out/wildcard

[ Any other interactions! Kimmuriel will be around the Sutoku apartment complex, doing the usual mundane things you'd expect; doing laundry, taking out garbage, getting some fresh air on the balcony, all that. If you want to throw something at me, go for it! If you want a custom starter feel free to hit me up through my cr meme post for this month! o7 ]

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[ Van Zieks has been living off take-out whenever his budget allows him as much. At home, he was entirely accustomed to being waited on by a chef employed in his household, so living here... It's been a struggle. He cannot cook. Not one bit.

He also does not like Japanese food, but thankfully there are stores in town that offer Western cuisine at reasonable prices in........... reasonable quality. Maybe. ]

If it happens to be the Jacket-- the Baked Potato, then yes.

[ Kimmuriel already vaguely knows him just because he's already been noted as a regular in the vague-approximations-of-western-food takeout place he orders from, which means there's the occasional coupon of appreciation tucked inside the takeout box (as there is right now).

He'd been mildly curious about a client who would eschew ordering from pretty much everywhere else to eat only this stuff, honestly. Kimmuriel is by no means adventurous with his choices of food (he's been eating a lot of mushrooms lately) but it says something about the person, that's for sure. If he was trying to identify things by his own world's food distribution, he'd class the man a northerner, or something like it.

He does a cursory check to make sure the order is right, and then rustles the bag at him, holding it up patiently for him to take. ]

You have an interesting choice of diet. Homesick?

[ Van Zieks is not sure what it says about him when the delivery man is starting to have opinions on his lifestyle, but it is unlikely to be anything good. It does cause a dismayed look to cross over his face without him even noticing. Life was so much easier when he was a gentleman of repute... ]

........ I do have to point out that I am under no obligation to justify my food preferences, but yes. You could put it that way.

[ While speaking, he does take the bag off Kimmuriel's hands and instead hands the man an adequate tip in turn. ]

[ Listen, if you're the one guy in a city who keeps consistently ordering western food and nothing else....he's going to at least be curious about it! Food is duly exchanged for cash. ]

You need not justify them. It is just an observation. [ Also he's judging you like a little but he does that with everyone....but also he's being an ass, it's nothing so blameless as 'an observation'. ] You eat much like the northerners I knew at home. It is unusual in a city that places very little focus on such things.

[ 'Just an observation' alright. Van Zieks merely raises an eyebrow at that, clearly believing it no more than Kimmuriel himself seems to. Being judgmental of people's lifestyle choices is many people's favourite pastime and in the few moments they have known one another Kimmuriel has not earned the goodwill to be thought of as any better. ]

'Unusual' I will grant, yes. It appears that a lot of Lost Souls are conveniently of Japanese origin and thus blend right in. [ ... ] When you say 'northerners' do you refer to Great Britain, or is that term not familiar to you?

It is certainly a happy coincidence for them. [ He can agree with that much. There are very few points of familiarity to find here, though he supposes someone else might have more trouble with it than just simple annoyance. ]

I mean the northern lands. Past the mountains, up the Sword Coast...but you would know little of that, just as I know nothing of this Great Britain you speak of. Does it exist in the same area as Japan?

[ So... absolutely not Britain. Interesting then that the food he orders would still register as familiar even to someone from an entirely different world set-up. Some overlaps always seem to exist, even if in unexpected places. ]

It is halfway around the planet from Japan - but yes, they exist in the same world and have political as well as trade relations.

[ He considers this for a moment, before briefly tilting his head. ]

Not favorable ones, I imagine. [ He supposes it could just be a food sensitivity - it isn't as if you can tell those by looking at someone - but he figures he has about a coinflip's chance to get his assumption right. ]

[ ..... ]

The bonds between our Empires are still young and fragile, but I would not decry them as inherently strained.

[ But he understands how Kimmuriel has made this assumption and he knows it is his fault. For years and years he has hated the Japanese passionately and with no remorse, but now there are a few people to whom he owes it to do better. ]

The conflict you sense in me is of personal nature - and recently resolved. It does not reflect on the grand scale of things.

[Unfortunately Sheliak shared Kimmuriel's stubbornness. He was determined to see this through to the end. That end was starting to look farther away with each trivial task and some of his frustration slipped past his defenses with a sharp sigh.]

Remind me what we are looking for this time?

A specific brand of drink, allegedly. [ Truly, Kimmuriel is even more in hell at this moment, looking along the alleyway full of shady fluorescent vending machines showing significant signs of wear. ] It is seasonal, but some of these older...machines apparently have some still.

[ He feels increasingly jerked around by this. Resigned to his task, he walks over to the nearest machine and starts checking the bottles behind the dirty glass, seeing if it's the one they need. ]

[Yes this endless list of tasks was indeed hell and Sheliak turned away from Kimmuriel to look at opposite vending machine so he could hide his exasperated eye roll.]

Of course it is. What's it called?

[Well some of these machines were rather old so he supposed it was possible but did some of these even work still? It would be just their luck to find it in a malfunctioning machine. Then again, he wouldn't mind tearing the machine apart right now and the drink would give him a legitimate, well, slightly legitimate, reason to let out if frustration on one of them.]

It is some kind of...Aloe drink? [ He's not at all sure he heard that right but you know what, whatever, he's going to forge ahead. ] It is orange. For autumn celebrations, apparently.

[ There's at least a dearth of orange options in these machines, which means theoretically it SHOULD be easy to spot.

Theoretically??? ]

Why not just send us to a collector? Or a vendor? Why so many machines. [ It just seems to be all pointless, noisy busywork...He's mostly just complaining to himself, but it's definitely loud enough for Sheliak to hear. ]

[Theoretically was the opportune word. Sheliak glared that the endless line of orange drinks. Sheliak had the same questions and his growing frustration made it easier for some of his anger to slip past his careful defenses.]

Probably because a collector or a vendor would cost more than ordering a few lost souls around all day.

[His sharp voice sounded bitter. Sheliak hated being a lowly nobody here.]

[ Kimmuriel is much more used to menial jobbing like this so he's...well, it's hard to tell if he's actually truly annoyed or he's just kinda not even bothered. He still finds it inconvenient, but it's not inconvenient enough to make him emote too much. ]

Surely the cost would make up for the time. [ He says, like any of this works on comforting things like logic and reason.

He squints through a few faded displays. ]

I wonder if these still take money. They look to be in a state of disrepair. [ Seriously, shoddy maintenance? In Hell? Entirely expected, but still disappointing. ] I suppose breaking them open would solve the problem, if so...

[ He gives one a small thump, but he has a strength score of Noodle so it doesn't really do much. ]

[Kimmuriel's stoic expression helped Shelaik reign in some of his unsightly frustration that had slipped out and he instinctively stood up straighter to make up for his mistake.]

Nothing about this task has been efficient.

[Therein lies the problem. There was nothing reasonable about sending them on an endless cycle of menial tasks for just one item. Complaining wouldn't solve anything and Sheliak considered Kimmuriel's idea with a quiet hum.]

As tempting as that is, perhaps we should see if it works first.

[He pulled out some money and hesitated for a brief moment as he tried to remember how these machines worked. You feed money into the machine and chose which one you want right? Sheliak hid his moment of confusion by disguising it as something else. He put too much money in the slot and turned to Kimmuriel.]

Which one should we try?

[ That draws a slight snort from him. ] I cannot refute that, [ he answers, as he searches the fogged and cracked glass of various brutalized vending machines. ] But I wish to see this come to some sort of conclusion, at least.

[ He squints through the glass of the machine Sheliak has chosen and then hits the button for a vaguely orange blur. (Hopefully the return coin function still works, for the sake of Sheliak's wallet....)

The machine makes some truly horrifying noises as it attempts to do its job and dispense the drink. The clunking and rattling goes on for a minute straight, as Kimmuriel makes a mildly disquieted face.

Finally, there's a thunk and a drink drops, ready to be collected. As an extra-dubious bonus, the change slot on the vending machine rattles and then expels coins in an explosive manner, sending them in all directions. ]

That was atrocious, [ Kimmuriel says, after a moment, because saying 'what the fuck was that' isn't period OR canon accurate. ]

[A ghost of a smile crossed over Sheliak's face when Kimmuriel agreed with him. Sharing this ridiculous task with someone else made it more bearable at least.]

As do I.

[Which requires this antiquated machine to work and Sheliak's subtle glare at the machine became more evident as they waited to retrieve their drink. Sheliak hid his muttered exasperated response with the sound of the drink falling.]

Finally.

[Sheliak reached for the drink just as the change slot attacked him with coins. His attempt to restrain himself shattered with a quiet yelp of surprise which he quickly stifled. He attempted to regain his dignity as he calmly stood back up with a quiet exhale.]

That is one way to say it.

[He had other words in mind but they didn't fit with his polite façade so he just fumed in silence.]

Shoddy workmanship. [ He shakes his head irritably. ] Though I do not expect most demons to know how to maintain anything. [ The kappa seem to be able to, but not others.

He turns his attention back to the task at hand, though. ]

Well? Is it the right one? [ Mercifully Sheliak is spared from being laughed at by the fact Kimmuriel's trying to focus (and also because he got a few coins at what, to him, is mildly bruising speed. Ow.) ]

Do you have something against demons?

[Sheliak carefully kept his judgement from his casual tone. He didn't really have any strong opinions about demons specifically. People that were not human was another matter. He wasn't human himself and he was constantly trying to gauge people's attitude towards those that were different. This place felt safer with the yokai inhabitants but he still couldn't help feeling cautious.

Sheliak pushed down his paranoia and turned to the drink he suffered an injust attack by coins for.]

I believe so. It's an orange aloe drink with something about autumn in the title

[The drink's label was faded so it was difficult to read.]

Edited 2022-06-27 22:31 (UTC)

My birth city worships a demon goddess who much dislikes it when those she sees as her people do not bow to her, and the city is close to the endless chaos from which they all spawn, [ Kimmuriel says dryly. ] You could say I have something against demons, since I wish my body and mind to stay intact and they are most against it.

[ He's Got Baggage. Sorry, Sheliak.

He peers over at the bottle and sort of shrugs. ] Close enough, [ he says. ] If they wish to do better they can simply do it themselves.

[At the base of the stairwell, leaning on a pillar just barely out of Kimmuriel's field of view, Minakami is nursing a disposable paper cup full of tea. There's seemingly nobody around, so no cause for concern for him to be lurking around in a Sutoku residential building. Eventually he'll need to clear off and attend to other responsibilities, but for now, the sun is shining, the skies are clear, and he feels calm. All is at peace in the world.]

[ Honestly, if Jarlaxle had been in a different faction he would have been fine with sneaking him in, so he gets it. He's very deliberately decided not to notice Tamamori smuggling in his Very Close Friend all the time.

Unfortunately, his general environmental awareness and decision making really isn't as good as it usually is, what with the constant migraine aura that haniwa produce. Add to that the fact that one, or possibly multiple, keep thinking his apartment is apparently the place to be for them...

THINK FAST MINAKAMI HERE COMES A HANIWA HURTLING THROUGH THE AIR RIGHT BY YOU ]

[A few factors prevent this from being an immediate, deeply regrettable moment in both of their lives:]

[1. He's finally been prewarned about the malice radiating from the little creatures, from those attuned to such things.
2. He's not, thank the gods and spirits, caught with his nose in a book.
3. The same reflexes that let him yeet a pocketknife through a car window also permit him to instinctively grab the figurine one-handed before it makes contact, only slopping some of his tea onto his shirt.]

!!!

[As he makes contact with the haniwa, for a brief, potent moment, everything stops: he could swear the colour of the air changes, as he feels something walking on his grave, even with his ordinary human senses -- as he frantically juggles with the haniwa one handed.]

[Then the moment is over, and, for lack of any other plan, he]

[fastballs it back up the stairwell]

[ The haniwa is yeeted promptly back up the stairwell and Minakami is treated to a barrage of drow cursing not directed at anyone in particular as Someone at the top of the stairs drops something metal with a clatter. Mercifully, there are no accidental comas caused by a momentary impulsive decision today.

A pair of tongs bounces down the stairs and, spinning rapidly, slides to a stop next to Minakami's foot after glancing off a nearby railing.

There's the sound of a door slamming nearby. Kimmuriel, looking genuinely irritable, makes his way down the stairs a few moments later with a cardboard box held firmly closed in both hands. It has 'DO NOT TOUCH' scribbled on it in marker.

There are absolutely terrible vibes coming from that box. ]

[Minakami regrets ~~his words and deeds~~ his actions pretty near instantly the second the clay figurine leaves his hands, but it is already too late.]

[Oh. Oh that's Kimmuriel. If nothing else he recognizes some of those assumably-rude words from that taxi cab jaunt. Well, this is all kinds of awkward now. What should he do? Act casual? He's not Kawase who can pull that kind of thing off. Act brazen, since it's not like he threw first? He's not Tama. He could... uh... talk his way out of this and ha ha no. Oh gods he's coming back down the stairs.]

[When Kimmuriel turns the corner, Minakami is there, half-full cup of tea in one hand, tea stain on his shirt, and a pair of tongs in the other.]

...you dropped this?

I did.

[ He tucks the box firmly under his arm after giving it an extra glare and is just apparently gonna pretend that moment of "FUCK THIS THING" never happened....or at least never happened enough that he doesn't have to acknowledge it.

He takes the tongs from Minakami with a slight nod, which is much thanks as you'll get out of him. ]

This housing may as well be infested. Does the one you [ slightly judgemental pause] adopted keep others away?

[Well, Kimmuriel doesn't seem any the worse for wear for Mina's temporary madness and also isn't yelling at him, so maybe... this will be... fine...]

[He withers a little under the judgement.] No, we, ah...

[~~sent Kawako to live on a farm~~]

...handed her over to the Department. It doesn't seem to have made a difference, though. Still bad dreams...

[ ~~she's in a better place now. probably?~~

He just sighs. ]

There are probably more hiding themselves away, [ he says, clearly sour about the whole thing. ] If I didn't know better, I would say they had a sense of humor.

[~~It's a nice big farm where she can run and play with all the other haniwa! It's just...... on the 20th basement floor in the Enma's tower or something...~~]

[Minakami decides, wisely, not to speculate on how many of the Sutoku neighbours are harbouring the things, when him and his roommate are not free of sin.]

Er... why would you say that? You have powers of some sort, don't you -- do you think they're "alive"?

[Granted, he's only seen Kimm's more "physical" displays of his psionics, but he's encountered enough people who take sensing the haniwa for granted to take this stab in the dark.]

[ ~~honestly just imagining the world's most depressing chao garden now~~ ]

They are not. [ His voice is firm on this. ] They have no minds to read, so far as I can tell - they are simply empty vessels for another's power.

[ He frowns a little. ] Though I have concerns if all of this is the work of a single person.

[Mindreading? That's a new one.]

Everyone else talked about their effects, or to just stay away from them... I almost wondered if they were inhabited by angry ghosts. It feels like they move around when you're not looking.

[Okay, bud, that's not something to speculate about when you're still living in a haunted building. He curls both of his hands around his tea, although it's starting to cool down now.]

They are deeply unpleasant, but I do not think they have minds. [ He frowns a bit, because if they had a consciousness at least he could tell them to knock that shit off. ] They are hollow as far as I can tell - more like cursed objects than cursed people.

[ ...His frown deepens as something seems to click in his brain at Minakami's comment. He opens the box he was holding like a misbehaving pet and just sighs aggressively.

There is nothing in the box. ]

This is worse than the time we had a stirge infestation.

Is it strange that that's reassuring? I suppose I shouldn't be, I've... heard suggestions they're coming from beyond the city walls...

[At Kimmuriel's expression, Minakami peers into the box, like he doesn't know goddamn fucking well what's meant to be in there and he isn't playing it cool.]

[Looks up at Kimmuriel.]

[Looks in the box again.]

[He takes a sip of tea, because sometimes there is nothing you can possibly say.]

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beep beep delivery [open]

A - ii.

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ii. Fetchquests are the worst

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sorry I'm so late orz

no worries!

Re: no worries!

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sorry this got lost in event madness

no worries!

B1 - setting up for high-stakes nightmareville hot potato in 3... 2...

this is fine and they are going to have a completely normal interaction

:(

It's Fine

Is It

[makes question mark noises]

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