jigokulogs | [ OPEN ] double trouble

Entry tags:

[ OPEN ] double trouble

Who ⬤ Tamamori, Minakami, and whomstever (that's you)
What ⬤ Substory 2 and 4, and a couple other options
When ⬤ Throughout May
Where ⬤ All over
Content Warnings ⬤ None that I can foresee. Will edit if it crops up.

This is a duo open post involving

fuckdogramagra and

watermemory, because these two idiots are stapled at the hip at the moment. Harass one or the other or both, though let us know if you’d rather not have threadjacking occur.
Starters are in prose, but can tag in brackets if you prefer.

[ A: Substory #2: Vend Me A Dream ]
[ Location: Various (see below) ]

If anyone asks, this is Minakami's fault for agreeing to lend the shirime a hand—in his defense, he was startled and doesn't know how to say no to these things. Also in his defense, it sounded like a simple favour at the time.

Minakami and Tamamori can be found going round in circles downtown:

— ...in an arcade, trying to win a specific plushie from a crane game for an inugami's chew toy.
— ...at a drugstore, looking for a particular brand of hair conditioner for a nozuchi (What's the difference between regular and leave-in? Did it say what fragrance it wanted? What does hair porosity even mean?).
— ...down sidestreets and alleyways, chasing down a hapless tsurubebi to catch in a lava lamp. Sounds like some cabaret owner is redecorating and insists she needs it for atmosphere.
— ...trying, and seemingly failing, to help a hinnagami take a selfie. It’s likely they’ve forgotten exactly why they were doing this one, but they sure are giving it their all still.
— ...and generally getting hopelessly lost. Tamamori’s complaining that his feet hurt and Minakami’s usual good humour is bleeding away at the seams.

-

[ B: Substory #4: Haniwhat? ]
[ Location: A plaza in Sutoku territory. ]

Well, this one’s Tamamori’s fault, though Mina’s not free of sin for going along with it either. Despite getting cranky and tired by the end of the shirime’s runaround, it’s done its job at getting them situated in Jigoku-cho, and Minakami’s unease at seeing yokai everywhere (when he’s only been told cautionary tales about them and has had nothing but bad experiences with the one spirit he’s had contact with) has somewhat abated. Maybe things are less weird and bad than they seem!!

Which is why the duo can be found at an outdoor table not far from Tamamori’s apartment building. Normally there’s street performers or some kind of noisy event at this plaza, but right now it’s relatively quiet. There’s the remains of konbini snacks and onigiri on the table, and way too many soda cans for just two people.

Minakami has a small stack of books next to him (he’s already found a lending library willing to give a Lost Soul a library card), peacefully reading up on burial customs and ancient pottery. Tamamori has one of the haniwa figurines propped up on the table, rather having a very intense staring match with it, or trying to examine it. Not that he has any reason to be more suited to that than Minakami, but he’s apparently taken this self-appointed task very seriously. At odds with that is maybe the haniwa’s ‘embellishments’—the clay figurine appears to have a very small black felt cap, that looks like it would be from an old-fashioned school uniform. There’s even a tiny badge on the hat brim made from foil.

Spiritual sensitivity? Awful nightmare vibes? What’s that? It’s just a little guy.

-

[ C: Other: this was easier to pull off when they were kids ]
[ Location: Around the Sutoku apartment complex; the hallways, or lobby, or wherever else. ]

There’s no real rule saying that people from other factions can’t hang out. However, ‘hang out’ is a little too generous of a term for the ongoing shenanigans in Tama’s shiny, new Sutoku apartment. Mumbling voices at all hours, that quiet down just before the building superintendent makes their rounds, Tama poking his head out of his room’s door and checking down either end of the hallway before opening it for any reason at all... there’s even an incident with music playing a touch too loud, complete with the muffled sounds of people trying desperately to quiet it down.

It’s all pretty suspicious, and frankly, painfully obvious to his neighbors, no doubt. You could say something, give the duo tips on how to actually pull this stupid grift off, or just complain about the noise.

-

[ D: Other: happy birthday to the ground ]
[ Minakami-specific ]
[ Location: Shuten apartment foyer. ]

Despite the fact that he's made other living arrangements, Minakami been ducking back into his assigned flat every so often, whether to keep up appearances of abiding by the residency rules, or respond to Shuten obligations when they come calling, or store stuff that doesn't fit in Tama's place, or—in this case—to check his mailbox. There's rarely anything there, which he supposes is a consequence of doing everything through the telephone thing, but this time...

Jigoku-cho has adapted fast to the influx of "Lost Souls", and for a functioning, thriving modern city, that means marketing. And mailing lists. Truly, Hell is where data harvesters go. Somehow, his personal details got into the system, and after a little confusion of dates (it's June where he comes from, but May here), eventually the backlog of spam had to go somewhere.

Minakami can be found at the dingy foyer, his mailbox open and overflowing with advertisement fliers and promotional cardstock. He's carrying a shoulder-bag with one hand, and in the other hand he has a cheery-looking card recommending he spend his special day at a Tamamo-run spa (price 25% off for couples!). A tinny little mechanism is singing a legally-distinct version of Happy Birthday.

While his face is a difficult read at the best of times, it is more inscrutable now than ever.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ just a couple of hairy wormsnakes being ...pals...???

Kimmuriel is about to elaborate on his specific circumstances and then Tamamori just does most of it for him, which elicits a surprised look because he genuinely thought Tamamori was not absorbing any of that. ] It is easier to summon demons on my world than it likely is on yours, and the planes where they reside are known well to my kind - though the demons here are like nothing I have seen before. [ because 5e hasn't gotten around to fleshing out the fantasy-Japan-equivalent yet so no yokai

His expression, just for a moment, is severe enough to indicate that sure, one of them couldn't talk and sweep simultaneously...but it's not him. ]

Is that what this nozuchi is supposed to be? A human transformed? [ Every time he has to pronounce a japanese word and it doesn't autotranslate magically, his kind of weird accent is very clear. ] I suppose it would make sense that its desire to retain some shred of its former self remains...

[bro.... bro we are just.... we are just two caterpillar demons.....]

[He mulls over all this, one elbow on a shelf like an armrest -- Kimmuriel says all this very matter-of-factly (not that he has any other tone of voice), with Tama backing it up. With some of the lost souls it's easy to assume they're still from Minakami's world, just from different times or parts of the world he's never seen in any life, but people like Kimmuriel bring home that the possibilities are far broader than that.]

"Three Great Evils", summoning... I'm sure Tama has said so, but if that exists in our time, it's unheard of -- outside of legends.

[A shrug, still leaning on the upper shelf (just tall person things[tm]).] It's said to be so. [Then he frowns, genuinely concerned.] ...Could meeting the request really be hindering their enlightenment?

[Yes, this is what it takes to make him question this sidequest.]

Sometimes a nozuchi is a fallen priest. Sometimes it's just a nozuchi. Though I wish it was a hitotsume kozo... [ That yokai he actually knows stuff about, because Aizu was in the full spirit of burning and rebuilding shrines to get more luck from them. But he's also not really thinking of explaining himself, sorry Kimm. ]

It may hinder it, or it could be the last attachment needed to sever ties to the physical world, or whatever. [ He's not the Buddhist here, he barely even believes in Shinto. ~~which is wild coming from him~~ ] Either way...we're better off going back to ask it what it wants more specifically, I think. Even if I really, really don't want to...

[ That gets a curious glance, but since Tamamori isn't elaborating and it's not immediately relevant to the situation at hand, Kimmuriel.......also doesn't ask for an explanation. ]

If it is here in hell, it seems a little late for considering enlightenment. [ He picks up another bottle, comparing it with the first one. ]

If it needs to ask you to get something it wants without binding you to the task somehow, it is likely a weak thing. There should be no problems in your dealings with it. [ Will he ever stop holding yokai here to the standards of dnd demons? ......Not really no. ]

[He laughs a little at Tamamori's muttering.] A hitotsume kozo wouldn't need any conditioner... though given our luck it'd want, oh... eyedrops. Or a fire extinguisher.

It's not a binding, only... it'd be rude? [He lets out a heavy sigh, pushing his hair back and giving Tama an apologetic look. It's been a Night.] Tamamori's right... we'll take a break for now, then we can see what it really wants.

Thank you for the advice, ah... [...still no idea what his name is. While he doesn't exactly have Nosy Bitch disease, he hurries to cover the falter:] ...what are you buying, anyway? Not hair stuff too?

Oh, right, you haven't given your name yet. [ Where Minakami avoids being blunt, Tama barges right in to the realization, cocking his head. ]

Also, we're not going to deal with a yokai...! We're not here to make enemies. They're like our neighbors now, so it would be rude to not help them. And it's not as if we aren't also being helped out, too... [ Even if it was in an...annoying circuitous way... ]

[ Once upon a time he had a really annoying outgoing friend to do all the introductions for him. He does not right now and he sees no reason not to give his name, so. ]

...I am Kimmuriel. [ His last name isn't very relevant here. If it comes up, maybe, but other than that the first name will do. ]

That is a rather lax approach to dealing with demons, but they seem to be ones you know better than I. [ He shrugs. If it works, it works, but it's not going to lower his suspicion much. ]

I have little need for hair product as of yet, though with this weather.... [ He sighs hard enough to blow a few stray strands of white hair away from his face. ] I may end up having to resupply soon enough.

...I was looking for some metal objects thin enough to serve as lockpicks. [ In case he ever needs to break into his own apartment...or something other than that. And also, people DEFINITELY sell lockpick kits here but they're also DEFINITELY expensive, so until he can save up.... ]

[Having a friend to outsource being a pest when you're too wound-up inside your own head to be a nosy bastard yourself? Damn. Can't relate.]

[RELIEF. THANKS TAMA. He straightens from his lean, giving a short bow to Kimmuriel.]

If nothing else, we are the intruders in their hometown, if you think about it. [Even if getting kicked out of Hell for misconduct isn't an undesirable prospect...]

Lockpicks? Isn't that- [Minakami immediately shuts up, because "isn't that illegal" is an unbelievably stupid question to ask when all three individuals in the conversation were inducted into organized crime groups (not wholly of their own free will, to be fair).]

Kimmu...Kimm. Kimm. [ Tama repeats the shortened form with some sort of bleak finality, because he doesn't trust himself to pronounce Kimmuriel properly, and isn't going to try. This is what happens when you let pests break name tension, guys. ]

You know how to use lockpicks?! [ Tama's surprise and awe is maybe a bit louder than one should be about such topics inside a drugstore, but they're in hell, so he assumes this stuff is just assumed. ] I'll help you figure out how to stock up if you tell me about that...!

[ Nobody milling around in this store even looks up at the mention of lockpicks, so ding ding ding, that's right on the money. Discussing that you're intending to Do A Crime Somewhere in public is probably worse, but saying that you have something a wee bit illegal barely registers.

He just acquiesces the point Minakami makes with a slight nod. He sees the logic in that, at least; no point angering the people you basically have to live with more than necessary. Even if they are demons.

....He guesses that's his name with this guy now!! SURE, THIS MIGHT AS WELL HAPPEN. He sort of just sighs a little but does nothing else because he does, despite all indicators to the contrary, Get It. Names in other languages are difficult. ]

It has been some time since I had to. [ He looks a little annoyed at the admittance. ] They are much less efficient than my usual way.

Though you will have to ask a better question about them to get an answer that will be useful to you. [ He COULD tell you things like common uses for lockpicks or their different forms or something but he doubts you want to know about that immediately, Tamamori. (He's picked up a lot of useless information while ghosting through people's minds and some of it has inevitably stuck.) ]

Edited 2022-05-15 22:32 (UTC)

[Right. Red-light district. In hell. Lockpicks are the least of anyone's concerns, between the gangsters and the... everything. Don't mind him.]

... "Kimmuriel." [There's a distinct slurring of the last couple syllables of the drow's name, relic of the boys' local accent, but it's not unintelligible. He gives a Look over Kimmuriel's head at Tamamori, which... just reads like his usual mild expression, but to Tama it might read something like, "Remember those English reference books? :|"]

Eh... Maybe a hardware store might be better. [Not that he knows where one is, but after this guy has entertained their collective lack of knowledge of recreational hair goop (tm), it only seems fair to return the favour.] Don't they always use hairpins in mystery novels?

[ Tama only gives Mina a 'Remember how well the English reference books worked? :\' look back, but does at least, albeit with a strained expression, try again. ] Kimmu-riel. [ Syllable strain is in the wrong spot, but he's trying to enunciate properly. ]

Ah, right, hairpins! I saw thooooose... [ Tama has to get on his tiptoes to get the lay of the land, but at least for once there's someone present who isn't taller than him, so it's motivating. ] Yeah, the next lane over. There were colorful ones, so they caught my attention. [ His hair's a bit unruly even with brushing, so he had maybe entertained the thought of trying to pin it down. But it wouldn't do anything against his cowlick, he assumes, so he'd abandoned the thought pretty quickly. ] I've always wanted to learn how to pick a lock, though! That sort of thing is always useful to know, in case you end up locked out, or if the till breaks for the second time in two weeks...

[ In a rare moment of humoring other non-drow, Kimmuriel returns the favour, pointing at each of them as he says their names; ] Mina-kami. Tama-mori.

[ His speech is clear and careful, though his accent is distinct. The way he says their names almost seems to fight with the way his accent blurs and joins individual syllables together, as if he's used to speaking much more quickly. ]

Anything of sufficient length and thinness will do, so hairpins are not a terrible choice. They are far flimsier than I am used to, however. [ Cheap work!! He frowns a little as if to express his disapproval. ] They seem to make things far frailer here, which is likely an attempt to make you buy more of them as replacement. [ Smh. He guesses he can appreciate the mercantile hustle, but not when it inconveniences him this much. ]

I could teach you - it is a useful skill to have. But I would require a favour in return. [ At least he's...honest about how it's going to be a transaction up front? ]

[At Kimmuriel's humouring, Mina breaks off the mini-staredown with Tamamori vis a vis "ok but read those reference books so you can make your grandmother proud :|:|:|", as he covers his mouth in a surprised laugh.] Touche.

[While Tamamori is peering over at the selection of plastic barrettes and hair ties, Minakami pulls a truly indescribable face, thinking about that weird skinny guy who always ran off from Umebachidou when he appeared. He doesn't like to make trouble for people over nothing, so he's never said anything, but...] ...did you ever find out what was wrong with the till?

Mm? That's fair. Seeing as how the skill would benefit both of us anyway, I'll accept the debt. [He says this firmly, before Tamamori can welly in -- you have enough on your ledger, thank you, bud.] What do you have in mind?

[ Despite the immediate 'DO NOT EVOKE HER OR SHE WILL ARRIVE' strained grimace he almost pulls, Tama does get properly distracted by the nicknames. He's...not a fan of other people calling Minakami by his nickname, but the gay consternation doesn't bubble to the top. He's trying to be less ~~possessive~~ protective of silly things like that. ] No, I think- [ Especially when the boulder of his time working at Umebachidou is tripping him up mid-sentence. ] -I-I think it was just an old man's prank. I'll...explain it later. [ Never. Bleaching his brain immediately.

It's only natural then that he's not quick enough to take on the debt, shooting Minakami yet another look of 'YOUR parents must be worried about your studies too', because they are just doing this now. Tama just crosses his arms and refuses to see reason. ] If we'd both be learning it, then we would both owe you a favor. Right? [ Sirs, this is a LAWSONS. ]

[ There's a long moment of silence as Kimmuriel just looks at the routine playing out before him before he pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. ]

...Money is the simplest way. [ He has a feeling asking favours from these two would be more trouble to extricate than it's worth. ] We can arrange proper pricing later, once I have the tools.

[ He can't offer a service he's not properly equipped to give. That's just not good business.

(Wait, how did he end up becoming a tutor...Well, whatever.) ] Is that amenable?

[Oof. Mina winces at the reminder of his parents, and concedes defeat in this stupid battle of wills. He probably deserves it for bringing up Tama's grandmother, but also: ouch. It also means the moment passes for him to inquire further about the till, but... ah, nevermind. Umebachidou and its hapless burglar(?) is the least of either of their concerns right now.]

[...and he clears his throat, because he can feel Kimmuriel's eyes burning on the two of them.]

... that would be amenable, yes. Though I didn't mean to include myself in the lessons uninvited -- it seems more in the Sutoku toolbox than the Shuten's, after all.

Does it? [ Tama was busy internally gloating for his hard-won victory, completely willing to accept and/or ignore Kimm's soul-weary sigh, but the topic of factions makes his face skew up. He's not really paid attention to many details about them, aside from the immediately obvious. ] I can't imagine oni can just afford to go around smashing doors open every time...even if it was pretty effective... [ Not gonna think about it. Just, not gonna think about it. ]

Wait...you're not going to be strange about factions interacting, right? [ Even Tama sounds doubtful as he says the question, but still. Formality. ] I doubt it, but...it's hard knowing where people stand on that sort of thing.

[ He just shakes his head, seeming a little exasperated. ] Refusing to interact with others because they happen to have drawn a different lot than I is foolishness. [ He is, as always, logical with this sort of thing. ] We lost souls have more in common with each other than with our respective factions. and some bonds endure beyond that.

[ They were all brought here, jumbled up, and then divided according to the leaders' needs. He hardly sees a reason to adhere to such arbitrary loyalties. ]

And if you limit yourself only to your faction's wants, you may as well not learn anything at all. [ Another little headshake. ] Whether you wish to have the lessons is up to you [ he's not going to insist either way, what is he, a salesman ] but if there comes something you cannot simply force your way through, then you will find yourself at a loss.

[ Not that he would know anything about that......even if the situation is different.... ]

[Smashed doors? That must have been something that happened before he'd managed to find Tama, when it sounds like the turf war was still boiling hot instead of the current stalemate. If only they'd met up sooner -- no, then Tama would have seen the terrible car decisions. Okay, maybe not.]

[While nobody would accuse Kimmuriel of having bedside manner, his pragmaticism does settle some of Minakami's feathers.] That's... reassuring to hear. Most people we've met seem like they agree, really -- it's only that, the few that don't are in a position to... make life difficult.

[He laughs a little, holding up his hands:] When you put it that way -- then I defer to your experience and accept the lessons! I just didn't want to impose on your generosity.

Well, I'll impose for you, since we're one of those 'enduring bonds'. [ Tama flashes a very stupid smile, unaware of how gay that sounded, because he is Tamamori and this 7-11 is cursed. ] It's important to both of our development as criminal yakuza hardened so-and-so's! And it's important...

[ Tama pivots on his heel, looking deadpan at Minakami. ] Because you still haven't explained the driving thing and if you almost drove a motorcar I want to know to be jealous of you.

Then make certain they do not find out about it, and you will have less problems. [ He says it like it's the simplest thing in the world, and to him it really is.

Is it really generosity when he's literally just offering a transaction? Humans are strange.

He snorts when Tamamori makes that claim about being yakuza, though. In his not-so-humble opinion, he has a long way to go. ]

It was not terribly interesting, [ he says in reply to Tamamori's question. He is at least...sort of attempting to save Minakami from his terrible fate of being lightly grilled by his boyfriend... or at least downplaying it a lot because he doesn't really want to explain it either. ] It was a task neither of us wanted.

[IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER VN ROUTE SPLIT:]

[OPTION 1: Continue to sidestep the matter of the motorcar for the rest of the night and maybe past that, siding with Kimmuriel's distaste for the topic, and have it be a whole big Thing for the rest of time, on and on, world without end.]

[OPTION 2: Fess up, siding with Tamamori's curiosity, maybe get more practise not being such an evasive bastard, become better person(???)? This part's more nebulous. Anyway this is the future and they have more cars here so maybe it's normal?]

[>_OPTION_2]

...The Department was understaffed -- they were recruiting people to collect loans. The one Kimmuriel and I were assigned to wanted to... uh... make us... race him.

What.

[ Race...motorcars? Like people race horses? And Minakami was in the car...? ]

I just spent the time sweeping up refuse and trying not to get eaten by sharks!! [ Indignancy is painted plain on his face, because this is the worst betrayal he's suffered in the past fifteen minutes. ] How is that uninteresting? Why did you get to do something so cool?? I want to try and race a motorcar...!

As I said, it was a task neither of us wanted or were particularly interested in.

Besides, driving a motorcar is an extremely stressful experience. [ He says, his tone completely conveying none of that. ] About as stressful as almost getting eaten by shark-people, I would imagine.

[ Just kinda Looks at Tamamori for a little bit. ]

[ OPEN ] double trouble

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[tag derailed as i look up when fire extinguishers were invented]

you begin to learn my hell more and more each day

handshakes sadly in google searches of 'did medieval era/dnd have x'

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