001 (open)

[kamisabro]

Who ⬤ Ayato & YOU
What ⬤ Substories + ember shitposting + general prompt
When ⬤ May, possibly adding June catch-all if I became too lazy?
Where ⬤ Varies on prompt
Content Warnings ⬤ Half-naked Ayato and him being dumb. Also Substory #2 is in so some NSFW.

Substory 1.

 

( As a food connoisseur (by a very weird degree), Ayato made it his mission to try, and possibly fix 'em himself in the future, every single delicacies that he stumbled upon this land. Of course this turn of event will not bite him back in the ass, right?

Well, you can probably guess where this goes. Ayato tried the mochi and lo and behold, he's now not really living up to his usual elegance, walking around the business district with his surprisingly muscular chest bare, while happily chomping another set of mochi. At one point, the half-naked man just happens to stumbles upon you while walking around, casually offering you a piece of mochi that he brought too much with him. )

Would you like some? It appears I took too many with me. They're surprisingly delicious.

( To be fair, Ayato could eat something like Spicy Cake or Tea mixed with Soy sauce and said they were good, so... )

█

Substory 2.

 

( Speaking of which, this is quite the turn of event for him. He thought he was in for some of the more ordinary assignment when he took this request. Get a thing here, deliver it to a youkai there, rinse and repeat... Those were interesting, to say the least. But now, this? Frankly, Ayato has never taken that much interest in pornographic material, but to say that he doesn't know what they are would be a blatant lie. This is still legitimately his first encounter at finding this kind of material, though. Without much interest, he casually grabs the exact magazine from the vending machine after putting in the necessary money.

Now, standing just right beside the said vending machine, Ayato is browsing the pages, studying every single page as he mutters out loud, not really caring whether there'd be other people/youkai around him. )

'Big mommy milkies'? 'Not only cake, but the whole bakery'? Interesting, is that how people address big breasts and big buttock here?

( Ayato please. )

█

Substory 3.

 

AYATO (27) Enma

✓       ✕ WOULD YOU RATHER? [-Be sober your entire life OR be drunk at every important meeting?] Depends on the quality of the wine I'd be drinking. [-Relive your most embarrassing memories every night OR do something embarrassing everyday, then immediately forget it forever?] Hahaha. ( Yes, that's his answer: A typed laughter. ) [-Leave your assigned faction or take over your current faction as leader?] The latter only if the other agreed to vouch for me. In other situation, no comment.

█

Substory 4 (locked to Enma dept.).

 

( It's an understandable choice to let the department of Enma to take care of the whole weird haniwa thing. Obviously, Ayato, being the always morbidly curious individual out there, has nothing but question, especially at the moment he managed to get his hand on one of the randomly spawned haniwa. He's no exorcist, definitely, but he does know some of the priestesses from the Narukami shrine that he happened to get along well with back in his home world that even he could tell that they're not just normal haniwa. Something indeed feels off from them. )

In risk of making me sounds like I'm trying to overstep my boundaries, where do we even contain them if we can't keep anymore of them? Do we just discard them somewhere?

( Ayato gestures to the shelves on their office, where the once empty line of shelves now filled with the haniwas that they secured from every single spot that the department could find. Obviously, he's against the idea considering how uncomfortable the atmosphere that the haniwas are giving already, but what else should they even do?)

█

General.

 

( On one of the finer day where he's not that bogged by paperworks in the department, Ayato can be found all around the toy shops around Tamamo, Shuten, or Sutoku territory, browsing some gashapon machine, kids' card games, and gundam model kits around, surprisingly enough. This is one of his old hobby, after all. You might be able to encounter him walking out of the store with bags of them like a smelly NEET, even.

Alternatively, you could also find him on the evening time, where he stumbles upon the video game arcades in Shutoku territory. He walks around to browse the options around until he stops his track on the fighting game KETTEN that he seems to be interested the most at. Coincidentally, it seems to be empty as well, so... He's just going to look at someone else who happens to be around -YOU- as he gestures toward the machine with his a headtilt. )

I have never tried this thing before. How about you?

█

Comments

[disagree]

[ well, if ayato's not stepping up, she will. taking a haniwa into her own gloved hands, she walks over to the shelf and starts arranging them one by one. ]

We could inquire to the higher-ups. I hear that they needed to be moved to a special containment unit underground, so if we could hand all of this to them ASAP, we can...

[ ...oof, don't mind the stagger in her step just now. these rancid vibes, she swears. too bad she can't deliver her retributions on these silly clay figures if she knows what's good for her. ]

[kamisabro]

( Welp. This goes really well for them. Or for the entirety of the Enma department. He's not going to sell himself sort, but Ayato considers himself strong enough to resist this kind of magical influence. Usually. But this thing is just too strong for him to handle that he actually feels like puking. )

Whoa, whoa. Be careful.

( He inhales deeply as if trying to steel his resolve as he steps forward again to lend his hand. Guess the faster they're done with this, the better for everyone. Ayato is going to proceed to move things carefully... which is to say, very slowly. Better than ruining things, at least. )

Eula... This might be a rhetorical question, but do you think having an exorcist around could ease this kind of ambience?

[disagree]

I'm fine. [ she squeezes her eyes shut for a moment before opening them again. ] I just needed to rest after this, is all.

[ at least she knows her limits... somewhat. too bad she's too stubborn to give up on her work, even if it's making the both of them queasy. but it's probably just her, right? can't show weakness to a fellow coworker, even if she's starting to hear things -- must be from the other rooms, it's too muffled for her to tell. ]

I suppose their expertise is sorely needed, in this case. I wonder if the Enma knows any... we could ask for a list of names later.

[kamisabro]

( Don't worry, Eula. He's probably already half-intoxicated by the haniwa effect as well and he's just forcing himself to finish his share. )

I personally am close enough to one. I don't know whether she would say yes to it though.

( Shiiiit, his head is already spinning by the weird aura surrounding them. Can he even holds himself up in this rate? )

[disagree]

It's worth a try, at least.

[ but their combined stubbornness will be the end of them, you know? not that eula is giving up yet; she can't just let ayato do all the work. she's stronger than this.

and yet she stops in the middle of her rearranging, hands clutching tightly around the haniwa she's holding. the echoes in her mind become clearer, and she could almost make them out-- the voices of random townsfolk yelling at her to beat it. but it's the same song and dance she's heard over the years, so one would think she's used to it by now.

and yet. ]

...Do you hear something, Ayato?

[ her voice is level and quiet, contrasting the annoying cacophony rising in her head. ]

[kamisabro]

( Unsurprisingly, Ayato is at the peak of his hallucination as well. He has been hearing things for a while yet he simply turned deaf ears to them, but forcing himself to put a haniwa gently on one of the empty spot surprisingly becomes the trigger for everything to break loose.

When he pulls an arm back to use the hand to rub his eyes tiredly, everything becomes... weird, for the lack of better words. As he heard his name being called, Ayato turns his head to see Eula on the other way.

Or supposedly so.

Because while he can easily tell it's Eula due to her eye-catchy colored hair and her relatively easy-to-the-eyes figure, there's... definitely something weird about her. Right. It's her head. Why is her neck and head suddenly so long, and colored like they're carved of wood? What the hell is happening? )

...Eula?

( On one hand, he wants her to turn around to look at him so he can confirm that this person before him is indeed her, on the other hand, there's a tinging feeling inside him that saying that he's going to regret looking at her already-haniwa'd face. Oh archons please, don't surprise him at the very least. )

[disagree]

[ wow, what do you mean she's all wooden now, ayato. doesn't matter if he's an important figure in inazuma politics or not — vengeance will be hers.

but alas, eula can't help but look up at ayato's concerned tone of voice and turns to look at him. sure enough, her neck and face are all brown and claylike, her eyes and mouth replaced with empty holes. but the thing is — ayato also looks the same in eula's perspective, causing her to step back in shock. ]

What—?

[ she could've dropped the haniwa she's been holding, but luckily she's gripping it tightly as to have something to hold on to while they're lost in a world that works between dreams and reality.

the voices crop up again. she's had enough of this. ]

We need to get out of here. [ she continues backing up until her back lightly hits the wall. ] Are you listening to me, Ayato? We need to leave. Now.

[ as if the clayface in front of her isn't ayato... where is he and can he even hear her? ]

[kamisabro]

( On one hand, he's rather thankful that he isn't holding any haniwas anymore. On the other hand, he'd probably a bit relieved if he got something to, you know, throw at this Eula who happens to have the same face.

It just turns weirder (if not funnier) because dear archons, the big, beautiful haniwa is calling his name for some reason. The combination of Eula's naturally attractive body with that kind of long brown face... This is like a nightmare he never guessed he'd get coming true at the worst time. Ayato rubs his eyes in pain, fighting back the dizziness before he finally gathers enough energy to speak. )

O...kay, I think I had enough of haniwa jokes for now. Can you take off the haniwa mask now, Eula? This is getting weirder now.

( Ayato being Ayato, of course, just has to say something witty despite of other shortcomings going around them. )

[disagree]

[ not her beautiful wooden body... commissioner or not, she wouldn't have let that stand. but regardless, does ayato have no sense of self-preservation at all? if anything, eula's more peeved than afraid at this point, never mind his own pretty wooden face as well!

that's it, she'll have to take this into her own hands. ignoring the growing migraine in her hand, she carefully puts the haniwa down and blindly goes in to take ayato by the wrist and lead him out of the room... but is it just her or is the door suddenly miles and miles away from them? ]

Do I look like I'm joking? The nerve. We have to... go...

[ and keep walking until they get to the door, but realistically she's just walking in place, whoops. ]

i'm sorry (i'm not)

[kamisabro]

( The moment that the haniwa-faced Eula grabs him by the wrist, it's the moment that the mental damage inside his head starts to resurface again. He shuts his eye in pain as she leads him... probably trying to find the door and failing? Until it finally subsides a bit and he is able to think a bit clearly again.

He's still looking at a human sized haniwa though.

Unfortunately for Eula, this is... where Ayato's getting a magnificent idea. Thinking that she's probably undergoing some schizo moment by hearing voices in her head, the naturally mischievous man is going to do what he does best at, being mischievous. Ayato scoots closer to where the haniwa!Eula's ear is supposed to be and he starts aligning himself with the voices inside of her head, trying his best to pitch and change the frequency of his voice with each pause. )

You should have brought me a tea instead! ( A pause. ) Mom! I wanted a robot plastic model instead of this dress up doll! ( Another pause. ) Brother! Why are you wearing my favorite shoes! Bwaaah!

( Will this earn him a huge slap to his face and a beating of lifetime from the young lady? Probably.
Is it going to be worth it? Oh hell yes. )

closes my eyes............

[disagree]

[ eula freezes, the hairs on her neck standing on its neck at hearing... ayato's voice? sounds like him anyway. first of all, they don't trigger any specific memory in eula's addled thoughts -- if anything, the whispers in her ear only remind of what normal kids in mondstadt would whine about, instead of being shackled in a ruthless, loveless clan growing up like her...

she pauses, composes herself. the incessant auditory hallucinations in her head don't let up, and ayato's "assistance" is certainly not helping. what is he even thinking? does he really think eula is truly incapable of coherent thought?!

the audacity. the nerve. she will not stand for this.

so, ayato. wanna know how a 6mil+ physical smack to the face feels like? well lucky you, because eula's strength has been halved (practically lvl1 with no artifacts and a shitty weapon). but the way she twirls around and slaps ayato right on the cheek may as well be a critical hit all the same. if it does connect, the impact might be enough to stir her out of her weird stupor -- but ayato will have to survive it first. ]