jigokulogs | semi-open 👹 beauty of the night

[ Goodness, what a lying liar! Chongyun considers, pausing for a moment to take it all in, since it really does seem important to search the bathhouse... but decides that she does make some sense. If it's been quiet the demoness might have gone looking for food that isn't the flesh of misbehaving men. Maybe she was in the mood for a snack. Or ice cream. The flesh of lecherous men strikes him as being more of the savory, main course sort of thing.

And he's hungry too. He likes shaved ice.

It looks like he isn't going to notice the dildo. Taking a few steps, he turns back to look at her to say one more thing—and the new position finally puts it in full view. His lips part and he gasps—aha!—pointing with eyes gone wide. A clue! Actually, maybe it's even better than a clue? ]

Miss Monts! Behind you! [ he steps over quickly, reaching to grasp it— ] Could this be ... did she drop her weapon?

[ It's indeed a blunt object, but for some reason, given the accounts, he had expected it to be bigger. Like the length of a sword? But this still could do the trick in an assault, couldn't it? ]

... Um.

[Cue the collective head smack from the nearby youkai, some of them groaning audibly in their hands at Chongyun's genius deduction ~~but also it's kind of fun seeing these Lost Souls bumble their way through this, let's see what happens next~~

Monts puts her hands on Chongyun's shoulders and firmly steers him away from the large dildo.]

I wouldn't touch that. It's been used thoroughly in places you wouldn't believe.

[Look, anything to escape the scene of the crime.]

Do you like melon or caramel? Do you have those flavors from your world? I REALLY recommend the melon shaved ice!

I do like melon, but—...

[ He turns his head to look back at the dildo as she guides him away. Does he know where it would normally be thoroughly used? No. But it really fits the description of a phallic object that could be used to beat people! Which is why he isn't giving up quite yet, unsure why she isn't taking this clue as seriously as he is.

Like a husky being dragged to the bath, Chongyun digs his heels in. ]

Are you sure we shouldn't investigate it? It really does fit the description if the demoness's weapon. She might be just around the corner if it is hers.

[Please do not perceive the dildo weapon Chongyun, she's begging you (internally).

Of all the times to not have her super strength... This boy is proving to be stubborn, but so is Monts, powered up or not so Monts is not budging either.]

I'm sure, I'm sure! But if we stay too long to investigate, she might slip further and further away!

Oh and the line for the shaved ice is gonna grow longer too.

[ A battle of wills. Who will win?

Chongyun glances between Monts and the dildo. Dildo, Monts, dildo, Monts, dildo, Monts. Suspicion is still etched between his brows, lips pursed in a thin line, but he finally, finally relents. She’s right—the demoness clearly isn’t here, which could very well mean she’s getting away.

So, he finally nods. Fine. But did Monts think her win would come without consequences? ]

We should take it with us. Maybe if we have it, it’ll lure her to us.

[ He looks at Monts expectantly. She didn’t want him to pick it up, so she’s going to have to be the one to take it and carry it around outside instead, right?

All their nosy onlookers don’t know whether to laugh or cry. ]

[Why this. Why is this her (after)life??

Monts opens her mouth to object until one of the youkai calls out to her, while the others snicker uncontrollably. ]

"Yeah, newbie! You can't just go charging at the Dildo Demonness without a plan!"

[Uuuuggghhh.

You know what, Monts takes it more gracefully than one would expect after all the attempted deflection. She unceremoniously grabs the dildo by the handle and motions with one hand to Chongyun (without making eye contact with him because this is all very wrong).]

Alright. We're going.

I'm sure this will be useful in case anyone gets any bright ideas.

[The snickering youkai fall silent, coughing into their hands and just wave the duo off. Not their problem now! ]

[ They don't need those guys anyway! Pleased, Chongyun heads toward the doors out to the street with the street food, satisfied with the plan that the weapon will lure the demoness straight to them. Like a moth to a flame.

But did Monts really think that would be all? They can't have Chekhov's dildo and not use it. One plan is good, but more than one is better. A single avenue isn't enough when it comes to investigating spirits. ]

You know, we should question the vendors at the stalls while we're out there. Maybe they've seen the demoness before—we don't know if she only haunts the baths. Maybe she's been plaguing the entire city. [ he nods toward the "weapon" with his chin, ] When we get food, hold that up to show them. I'll explain the situation. Maybe someone will have a lead for us to follow.

[Okay, Monts finally lets out a heavy sigh at Chongyun's earnestness with his mission to restore peace and keep the 'demoness' at bay.]

Chongyun... I think that counts as sexual harassment if I hold this out to people even if we are trying to investigate.

[As they walk down the street there are some groups of youkai who express immediate fear at the sight of Monts and they quickly look away so as to not make eye contact. She recognizes them as the group that tried to fondle an already tired co-worker before she swatted them off. Well, at least they learned.]

Just ask normally and I think just looking at me, they'll get the picture.

[A pretty vivid and clear picture, yup.]

All that being said, I'm sure Tenkohime wouldn't mind her methods. It's not elegant, but it is effective.

Oh... alright.

[ Why on earth would holding up the evidence of a crime be sexual harassment? He has no idea ... but if she says so, Chongyun won't argue with her. While he's all for investigation he's willing to let that particular question go unanswered. It's a line he obviously doesn't want to cross. ]

You're not wrong. For all we know, the demoness is Tenkohime's right-hand woman. And I'm sure those men weren't as blameless as they were trying to seem. [ he might be gullible but sleazy is like oil. sticky, slick, staining. ] But we still need to do our due diligence.

[ Oh! The picture! He takes it out again, unfolding it. Maybe the weapon is too disturbing for civilians to see, but surely his excellent artistic rendering is not. He holds it up to one of the people squinting at them, asking right away if they've seen this demoness anywhere—to wit the man nods, pointing them down a very narrow and suspicious alleyway. Arrr, she went that way.

Chongyun turns to look at Monts with bright eyes. Coming outside had been a good idea! ]

Just in time! Can you believe our luck?

Mm. Well, if you say so.

[At this point, she's not even trying to actually hide. Or she kind of is, but some part of her heart has given up and lets Chongyun jump to all sorts of conclusions (cause it's kind of funny even at her own expense, she admits to herself).]

The male customers are usually the ones who have been the most... Challenging to deal with.

[Hardheaded even.]

Basically, I wouldn't want them around.

[Monts remains silent as she follows Chongyun who shows his drawing to one of the locals and when they point down the alleyway... She raises a suspicious brow.]

Mm-hm. Lucky, real lucky.

Chongyun, before you leap before you look, can I try something out first?

[ Just admit you're the dildo demon, Monts ... it's the only way. Because he will never reconcile her with the vicious monster who supposedly terrorized men and poked their eyes out with a phallic weapon as karmic justice. She's much too nice and pretty, and has less legs than the drawing he made. ]

Of course. [ he does stop, pausing pursuit, ] What do you want to try?

[NEVER... She's never giving up her true identity, not willingly anyway.

This is why Monts walks up near the entrance of the narrow alleyway, scanning it briefly. There are some trash bags, some wooden planks that are left by the wayside, and an even larger trash can that's big enough to hide someone or something were they to crouch behind it... Save for the suspicious rat tail peeking out behind it, but pfff maybe it's just an Unusually Large Rat and certainly not one of those Tesso youkai that had been causing trouble earlier at the bathhouse, oh no...!!

And then Monts just oh so suddenly aims the dildo so it flies in a near-perfect arc like a spear and it disappears behind the bin.]

Ow!! WHAT THE FUCK?!

[Monts puts a hand to her mouth, in pretend-shock.]

Oh no, my hand slipped, too bad, let's go.

[TURNING AWAY NOW, MISSION COMPLETE]

[ Revenge plot: swiftly thwarted!! Chongyun stands aside as she works and watches, impressed, as Monts sniffs out the mischievous youkai squatting behind the boards leaning in the alleyway. The dildo flies, truly fulfilling its great purpose of becoming a great piercing rod as it whacks the tesso youkai waiting for a little vengeance.

The young exorcist claps lightly. From the side, a little girl laughs and cheers as well, saying Again! Again! with a little fist pump. Her mom also nods approvingly. Apparently that guy isn't very popular around here. ]

A shame we lost our evidence but it was a worthwhile cost. [ what a creep. ] Maybe the demoness has the right of it after all.

[ It's not like he's necessarily against beating the shit out of troublesome spirits, anyway. ]

With creeps like that around, she's got her work cut out for her the rest of the night.

[Now that she's been freed of said evidence, Monts claps her hands together and smiles at Chongyun in a much more relaxed manner.]

So, shaved ice? I'll treat you. What'll it be? Strawberries and cream, melon, orrr...?

[ Oh well. It tracks that this investigation has gone the way of most of his other investigations: nowhere. Well used to his back luck with juuusttt missing these evil spirits and demons by a hair, Chongyun merely sighs, finally allowing his dreams of catching the demoness red-handed to rest for now. Maybe another day. You win this time, dildo demoness. This time. ]

Strawberries and cream sounds very good. Let's go! ♪

[ At least she's chosen the best thing to distract him from his failure with! ]

semi-open 👹 beauty of the night

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