[see, this is why Lan Wangji doesn't like accepting thanks for helping Wei Wuxian! Wei Wuxian is right. he didn't ask for it. he wouldn't have taken it, given a choice; has made it clear, in fact, that he'd literally rather die than accept Lan Wangji's concern. help from Lan Wangji is an insult, given by someone Wei Wuxian despises so deeply he believes he'd try to buy his way out of punishment from his family for what he did after Nightless City. that he'd turn around and slaughter innocents for the sake of showing cooperation with the sects, instead of standing by his decisions and the people he'd made them for.
(and doesn't it make sense that Wei Wuxian wanted him to get lost back then, now that Lan Wangji knows that part? how could you trust someone you think would do that to help you further? how could you want someone that faithless at your side...?)
he's aware.
but, he still couldn't not do it. couldn't stop himself from trying then, or earlier this month, or now. he doesn't even want to, and he won't pretend it's not selfish. Wei Wuxian could despise him with justice for this, too.
it's not that he's exactly standing around and thinking this through as he surveys the rippling dark water under the bridge. he has a job to do, and he's too conscientious not to focus on that. but he carries the conclusion heavily, with his scars. they're all a part of him now.
it doesn't take him as long as Wei Wuxian would have preferred before he sees the dark figure, his eyes go wide, and he moves quickly away from his post again, swift and silent and heading Wei Wuxian's way.]
no subject
(and doesn't it make sense that Wei Wuxian wanted him to get lost back then, now that Lan Wangji knows that part? how could you trust someone you think would do that to help you further? how could you want someone that faithless at your side...?)
he's aware.
but, he still couldn't not do it. couldn't stop himself from trying then, or earlier this month, or now. he doesn't even want to, and he won't pretend it's not selfish. Wei Wuxian could despise him with justice for this, too.
it's not that he's exactly standing around and thinking this through as he surveys the rippling dark water under the bridge. he has a job to do, and he's too conscientious not to focus on that. but he carries the conclusion heavily, with his scars. they're all a part of him now.
it doesn't take him as long as Wei Wuxian would have preferred before he sees the dark figure, his eyes go wide, and he moves quickly away from his post again, swift and silent and heading Wei Wuxian's way.]