[ he gets a faraway look in his eyes and seems to be letting this all sink in. ryouma has seen this piece and that other piece and lost the whole big picture somewhere along the way. it would have been hard not to, living the way he's had to. always showing up at turning points. endings. it's all just paperwork. never saving anyone, only arriving like a bad storm on the horizon.
know that the power to determine whether the world lives or dies lies within you.
when he'd written that a long time ago, he'd never imagined it might ever become so literal. he'd felt a little hopeful when he had turned up in chaldea because chaldea's master had impressed him, but then ryouma came here — to hell — and found himself alone.
he has limits like anyone else. ]
Everything keeps going..?
[ he pauses again, looking very much like he's not sure if he wants to laugh or cry or some combination of the two. it solves nothing on its own, but ryouma has felt like he's been barely treading water in this place, throwing everything he has at the wall to see what'll stick and for the most part coming up with nothing to show for any of it. hizen may not have handled this in a particularly graceful way, but then it's especially moving because he can tell it isn't easy for hizen to say.
he pulls a bit of wadded up money out of his pocket and makes some attempt to smooth it out before he holds it up and waves it because it's an easy way to get quick service, ordering more of the castella like he promised. ]
Consider it thanks for the trouble of setting me straight, like I said. And for working hard for Japan!
[ ryouma is doing his best but he's a bad liar about these kinds of things, so it's hard for him to disguise the fact that he's barely containing himself right now. consider: the news hizen has just delivered. to ryouma. to the person that he still is under all the extra stuff that's been piled on. he might as well be vibrating a little trying not to react because hizen might just murder him if he does. ]
no subject
know that the power to determine whether the world lives or dies lies within you.
when he'd written that a long time ago, he'd never imagined it might ever become so literal. he'd felt a little hopeful when he had turned up in chaldea because chaldea's master had impressed him, but then ryouma came here — to hell — and found himself alone.
he has limits like anyone else. ]
Everything keeps going..?
[ he pauses again, looking very much like he's not sure if he wants to laugh or cry or some combination of the two. it solves nothing on its own, but ryouma has felt like he's been barely treading water in this place, throwing everything he has at the wall to see what'll stick and for the most part coming up with nothing to show for any of it. hizen may not have handled this in a particularly graceful way, but then it's especially moving because he can tell it isn't easy for hizen to say.
he pulls a bit of wadded up money out of his pocket and makes some attempt to smooth it out before he holds it up and waves it because it's an easy way to get quick service, ordering more of the castella like he promised. ]
Consider it thanks for the trouble of setting me straight, like I said. And for working hard for Japan!
[ ryouma is doing his best but he's a bad liar about these kinds of things, so it's hard for him to disguise the fact that he's barely containing himself right now. consider: the news hizen has just delivered. to ryouma. to the person that he still is under all the extra stuff that's been piled on. he might as well be vibrating a little trying not to react
because hizen might just murder him if he does. ]