(Open) March March March March March

[strikingchords]

Who ⬤ Lan Wangji and YOU (in March)
What ⬤ March 2022 Substories & Lan Wangji's day in the life (in March)
When ⬤ March (March)
Where ⬤ Various locations (in March)
Content Warnings ⬤ Drug use for High Definition! Others will be added if they come up.


1. high definition (March 2022 substory #2)

1a. body blocked

[Lan Wangji does not prowl the streets. that word has connotations of hunting stealth, and while there's definitely something predatory about the way his sharp pale eyes take in everything in front of him, even in a city of fantastical yao there's nothing hidden about the way he contrasts with his background. he's a tall man dressed all in white, and he sweeps through the highly-saturated advertising in a shopping district in Tamamo territory like a spirit with a spotlight focused on himself.

his eyes are narrowed, as if in annoyance, and his face is blank as a statue's. the only acknowledgement he makes of the wares being offered on either side of him is a particularly intense glower whenever something especially racy catches his eye or waves to him from a window.

whatever his destination, he doesn't quite make it -- his stately progress is interrupted by someone inebriated stumbling directly into his path.]

--!

[Lan Wangji jerks aside just in time to avoid a collision and reaches to get a hand under the offender's elbow before they crash into him anyway and finish the job. it saves them from falling, but not from the fierce weight of his full attention when he glares down at them.]

...

Careless.

[do you witness this poor soul's misfortune and come to the rescue, or is the hapless Lost Soul you?]

1b. civic responsibility

[alternately, it's been several hours, and three or four blind or panicking clinical testers have caught Lan Wangji's attention. he's identified the source and dragged them all back to the gyokuto's drug testing headquarters location. Lan Wangji (tall, dignified, arguably surrounded with photoshop lens flare effects) is staring across a steel counter at the gyokuto with what appears to be a kind of high-octane Charged Bemusement. the gyokuto is gazing back at him with equal bemusement, but of a much more polite, clinical variety. I am waiting for all of this to make sense, her look seems to say, but I am a rabbit of science and willing to let the experiment play out. it must be emphasized that she is a rabbit.

you are presumably here perceiving this because you've come for your drugs or been dragged here through the streets. frankly, it is a weird staring contest to witness.]

...

Irresponsible. At least, guard those incapacitated.

[Is-This-A-Real-Doctor Rabbit does not seem to be following Lan Wangji's logic.

do you see his point? or has this straight-edged Dhaoists Gone Wild model wannabe interrupted your evening? has he been standing between you and your paid high to argue with a bunny for like, ten fucking minutes already?]

2. look at this sweet jacket (March 2022 substory #3)

[Lan Wangji is no stranger to resolving differences between humans, human spirits, and other creatures. there's a process to these things: in order to achieve the preferred outcome of liberating rather than destroying an an earthbound spirit, you need to convince it to go willingly. that means observing the evidence carefully and listening to what people say. eventually, the grudge or strong feeling at the bottom of the spirit's urge to cause mischief reveals itself, and you have something to work with when you return to lay down your demands.

in this case, he's observed the circumstances. he's heard the both sides of the story. and the answer is that everyone here is annoying.

by sheer force of personality and the tendency of others not to argue when he tells them to follow him and walks imperiously away, he's managed to get one of the hashihime and the man with the jacket to a neutral, non-bridge patch of waterfront to discuss the situation. but at this point he's listened to the man patronizingly explain to the hashihime three times over that she shouldn't be jealous of his jacket, because not everyone can wear them like he can. she has started repeating everything he says back to him in a higher voice, while making air quotes with her fingers, and while this feels understandable it is not helping. as an approach, it also just causes Jacket Guy to decide she doesn't get what he's saying, and restart his explanation.

Lan Wangji stares at the tableau in front of him with his hands tucked into his sleeves. he is a picture of majestic and intimidating calm. he has a headache and wishes deeply to throw them both into the river.

does anyone with a better command of words (or fewer inhibitions about river tossing) see this and care to come along and help him out make his life worse help him out?]

3. welcome to the Night Parade (March 2022 substory #4)

3a. this feels familiar

[obviously, booze is going to flow like water on the night of the Night Parade. just as obviously, those who want to be selling it at marked-up prices during the event don't want people slipping illicit BYOB goods through the checkpoints around their businesses.

Lan Wangji gives the latest enterprising would-be smuggler a flat stare across the box of decorations and other materials he's just examined. he tugs a piece of cloth away to reveal the shine of a bottle, not breaking eye contact. more boxes to check are stacked up next to him on either side, making it clear that this offense is just One More Fucking Thing in his evening. thanks.]

Alcohol is forbidden.

[do you care to comment from your own duties nearby, or are you a booze criminal?]

3b. something fishy

[like many Lost Souls barred from the Kappa's parade route have found, Lan Wangji hasn't found the explanations given for why the area is off limits very satisfying. he did climb to a higher vantage point one night to try to observe any illicit activities, but wasn't able to see much from there -- and he isn't unaware that stealth missions aren't his strong suit. with the rest of the Sukotu Alliance's tacit disapproval of doing anything that might sour relations with the Kappa hanging over his head, he's not inclined to push that route further on his own... but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to know what's going on.

he's decided to try to pry more into the cover story instead. what's so special about the city's utilities that the Kappa can use them for whatever they're doing, anyway? why would they be positioned in a way that makes them a good excuse here? are there actually vulnerabilities to guard, incidental or not?

unfortunately the only way to get information like deeds and records is to petition the city's administration, which they discourage by any means possible. which is why you can find Lan Wangji either glaring down a bored clerk in one of the lower floors of Kaigo no Bou, or tucked into a small eating-house with a window that faces the disputed part of the parade route. once in a while he'll look up and rest his eyes on the uninformative water of the river; then he'll return to filling out the stack of forms an inch thick in front of him.

the bureaucratic peanut gallery -- or the other seat of the booth -- is open.]

3c. on the heights

[of course, if you had been standing on the roof of a tall building to observe what you could of the Kappa activities on the same night as Lan Wangji proved great minds thought alike... you might have seen someone else on the skyline, doing the same thing as you nearby. uh oh! your new spy friend is dressed in white and if he steps out one more foot he's going to be really obvious.]

4. literally anything goes here

((respond with your own prompt, or hit me up by journal PM if you want me to write a specific starter for you! from fights to gambling dens to street theater to host clubs to more dangerous info gathering, there's an opportunity to meet Lan Wangji there and get judged for your life choices.

more event-related prompts available here.))

Comments

body blocked

[laughitoff]

[the hapless Lost Soul he just saved, very near the lab, is indeed Wei Wuxian, who really, really should learn quickly in Jigokucho that drugs and alcohol are not meant to mix. he'd decided that the gyokuto's proposition was a fun experiment right after earning a paycheck, buying the cheapest bottle of alcohol he could find, and then drinking it all in one go, so he is:

1. pleasantly wobbly, which one bottle should not have done to him, but again: don't mix drugs and alcohol, kids!

2. cradling the gyokuto herself in one elbow, which is probably very rude, but he's not in his right mind. she seems kind of resigned to it for the moment. he'll probably put her down soon when he gets distracted, right?

3. hallucinating that everyone else around him is giant pink rabbits

so instead of doing what he'd be inclined to do to Lan Wangji, which is either punch him in the face again or turn around and leave him as fast as possible, he kind of giggles and leans on the support, reaching out and carelessly patting Lan Wangji's chest]

Ah, no, I'm fine, I'm fine. My, you're a big strapping fellow, aren't you? What on earth do they put in the grass here, to make you grow to this size?

[strikingchords]

[Lan Wangji stops dead. he becomes a statue of frost. all his organ systems immediately drop to 2.7 degrees Kelvin, causing him to instantly freeze to a block of ice like a cartoon astronaut stranded without a spacesuit. obviously, that hyperbolic comparison draws on a common misconception, because the first thing that happens to you in space isn't freezing. instead, all the oxygen leaves your blood and you faint within 15 seconds once the effect hits your brain. that probably happens to him too.

...

no in real life he actually just goes absolutely still for a second. the whole deoxygenated brain thing is just, you know. a metaphor.

without any interference from said brain, he reaches out and gently takes hold of Wei Wuxian's patting wrist. he hasn't thought through what to do with it, so he just holds it there instead, Wei Wuxian's hand improbably warm over his heart. the contrast is marked; it's cold in deep space.]

...

[this admirable effort towards communication is really taking it out of him!!

cautiously, still decidedly feeling like he's about to faint from hypoxia:]

Wei Ying.

[laughitoff]

[wow, this bunny is weirdly jacked, but it is also soft. bunnies are so soft and good. bunnies are highly superior to people, even when they huff at you and ask not to be scooped up, which you had to do because the world had gone a little loose at the edges and you were worried they were going to fall through, somehow. this one doesn't seem like it needs the same treatment...? it's too big and solid. Wei Wuxian is keeping an eye on it, though, just in case.]

Yes! That's me! We haven't met before, though, have we? I'd definitely remember a rabbit like you.

[strikingchords]

[Lan Wangji keeps his hand on Wei Wuxian's wrist and his arm outstretched to lean on, steady. maybe he's hallucinating this. but, no; he's seen people this drunk before. he uneasily suspects that he has been this drunk before.

he remembers the burning feeling of the alcohol going down his throat, the way it made it hard to think. he wonders what Wei Wuxian is trying not to think about, tonight. there are so many possibilities.]

Are you all right?

[laughitoff]

Mm, fine, fine, fine fine...

[he's still leaning on him, yeah. it's easy enough to tell that he's at least a little bit drunk on top of the drugs, anyway: he smells like he's been in one of the cheaper bars in the Alliance's area recently. right now, a little bit of maladaptive coping trumps things like 'proper groceries' and 'clothes that aren't threadbare.'

(in his elbow, the rabbit sighs, mostly to herself. bystanders get so concerned about the scientific method.)]

[strikingchords]

[he'll exchange glances with the bunny over Wei Wuxian's head; resigned indifference on her part, slightly strained but impassive bewilderment on his. he is clearly going to have to wing this one. rabbits never actually give him social cues. they are useless to him, and probably holding out.

as gently as he can:]

Wei Ying.

You must free Madame Gyokuto.

[laughitoff]

Nooo.

[baps him on the chest a little more forcefully, for emphasis rather than a real blow]

She'll fall. You should show some concern for that if she's a friend of yours, you know!

[strikingchords]

[frowns down at him in concern! he looks so worn and shadowed in this light. he's too thin against Lan Wangji's arm. this close conversation is at the same time a source of heart-pounding, hair-raising understanding that Wei Wuxian is near, and a cause for more of the same worries that have plagued their last several years.

he will continue placing his words carefully into the conversation, very much aware that Wei Wuxian might at any second get angry at him (fine) or startle and flee like a baby deer (not fine).]

...

This concerns you?

[laughitoff]

[he oozes a little further sideways, supremely unhelpful to either Lan Wangji's nerves or his own balance. his weight lists against Lan Wangji's arm hard before he catches himself.]

Ha--oops.

[finds Lan Wangji's shoulder to pull himself up straight again, like a kitten climbing a human's leg in pursuit of treats]

I don't know if you realize it, big as you are, but normal-sized maiden buns are very delicate! What if she breaks her leg!

["Hm," is the gyokuto's neutral input on that. she is still observing him carefully.]

look at this sweet jacket and this river that's inevitably going to get someone tossed into it

[psionicmolotov]

[ Kimmuriel watches this tableau for a long moment before he walks up to the unfortunate person who has apparently chosen to take the burden of mediating this whole farce onto his own shoulders, like some kind of too-responsible fool.

Then, he speaks thus:]

Just throw him to the river and be done with it. [ The hashihime looks enthusiastic about this prospect. Jacket guy looks MUCH less so.

Has he made it worse or better? He doesn't care. He wants to cause some shit to happen in lieu of not being able to control a lot of his own situation, okay. ]

[strikingchords]

[Lan Wangji's sober attention to the scene in front of him is by necessity claimed by the addition of a new player. he slowly sweeps his eyes down and to the side to regard the intruder; short, purple skin, pale hair, ears...

okay, this is all weird for sure. but they're in hell and surrounded by yao, so that part is whatever. Lan Wangji isn't going to stare at this guy because he's not human. he would never do anything so rude.

the more important thing is that the Second Jade of Lan has priorities here, and up till now they've included making neither of these aggravated, aggravating beings any happier. he is trying to mediate. he is trying to be fair.

when he directs a flat, unimpressed glare at Kimmuriel, it's obviously for the egalitarian cause of judging his choices.]

...

An ill-conceived suggestion.

["No, no, I think there's something worth considering here," the hashihime chirps brightly. "A stranger appears with a solution! The heavens have spoken!" Lan Wangji transfers his icemelt stare to her, and she gulps before breaking into a fit of giggles behind her hand. Jacket Dude makes a sort of Donald Duck noise.]

[psionicmolotov]

[ He glances at the hashihime and despite himself, there's a tiny bit of amusement, the smallest, briefest crack of a smile, at her answer. He does not look at Jacket Dude whatsoever.

Lan Wangji's stare, on the other hand, is met with an equally unimpressed, equally flat stare coming the other way. He can do this too. ]

I see no way of resolving this besides choosing a side. [ He doesn't need to have his mind-reading powers to know that the look on this stranger's face is not at all a happy one.

He recognises it because he wears something similar all the time ]

Unless you would rather stand here for a tenday like a fool? [ Which, sure, he could be stubborn enough to do that. By the unimpressed look on his face, Kimmuriel clearly thinks that would be the stupid option for idiots, but it's not out of the realm of possibility as far as he knows. ]

[strikingchords]

Do you plan to quarrel for ten days?

[Lan Wangji met Kimmuriel's stare for another moment-- yes, yes, boys, you're both stoic towers of nonexpression whose canons emphasize comparisons between your faces and rocks-- but then turned to address the hashihime and Jacket Dude directly, here.

"No!" Jacket Dude protests. "I need to get across the fucking bridge! You think I'm wearing this to stay on the side without any good clubs?!"

"Maybe," the hashihime speculates thoughtfully. "Is anyone we hate more than him going to show up? We can hold a grudge for a long time."

(god, Lan Wangji secretly relates to this hashihime tho.)]

...

I propose a compromise.

[psionicmolotov]

[ there's some full on same hat character type to character type communication going on here, it's true.

Kimmuriel might have suggested something, but then the human proposes a compromise and you know what? Let's see how this plays out. He wants to know. ]

Well then. What do you have in mind? An agreement to make him less annoying? [ It's mostly a suggestion made on impulse, but he wonders if the guy had done anything to actually aggravate the hashihime or they just didn't like his face. Maybe it's a mix of both.

"It's not like I did anything!" Jacket Dude laments. "I was just wearing this sweet jacket!"

The hashihime mockingly repeats his words back at him. Kimmuriel sighs. ]

[strikingchords]

Regardless of your intent, you have caused offense.

[he bows slightly to the hashihime, then looks to Jacket Dude again.]

However, you have committed no crime.

[he bows slightly to Jacket Dude.]

If your return for offense inconvenienced you little, but pleased the hashihime, would this suffice?

[his goal here is to use Kimmuriel's suggestion, which the hashihime already tacitly agreed to, as a launching point. maybe if they toss this guy in the river after taking his jacket off, so it won't be ruined, everyone in this dumb conflict will be able to calm down a little.]

[psionicmolotov]

[ "As long as it doesn't involve my jacket, I GUESS..." This guy seems to have a one track mind, that's for certain.

The hashihime looks on, clearly intrigued by the suggestion of a return for offense. "What kind of return?" she chirps, happily. "Cut into fish food?"

(She either clearly didn't listen or clearly doesn't care about 'inconveniencing him a little' being in the terms. ]

My knife isn't practical for such a thing. [ This is said so blandly it's hard to tell whether he's serious or not. ] And you can only do it once.

[ He glances at his impromptu partner in this whole affair. ] I still think he should be thrown over the side of the bridge.

[ Jacket Guy opens his mouth.......... ]

Without the jacket.

[strikingchords]

["I didn't agree to this!" Jacket Dude protests. it's not as loud a protest as it might have been, though -- maybe a caveat that makes the jacket the most important part of this interaction is finally, finally getting through to him how ridiculously he's been behaving. maybe. it's not the likeliest option, but hope springs eternal.

Lan Wangji inclines his head, very serious.]

I will guarantee your raiment.

["But--?!"

the hashihime is suddenly next to Kimmuriel's side, hanging off his arm and grinning wide and sharp. "Oh, you're so clever! You fixed everything! Our hero~!"]

3a. This Feels Familiar

[demonrebel]

[Dante is 100% a booze criminal and judging from his ululating whooping and gyrating hips, he’s absolutely intoxicated. It all started with a glass of whisky that eventually became a glass of sake which in turn became several glasses of shochu in the end. There’s a reason why Dante doesn’t typically like mixing his alcohol and everyone is looking at it. He’s more liquor than man at this point. A proud drunkard in every sense of the word dancing to the beat of the music. That is until he spots this weirdo in white nearby harassing his latest supplier of booze.

He sashays his drunk ass over and quickly puts himself between the smuggler and this wannabe copper. It takes him a moment to say something, especially since he forgot words work, but once he finally snaps out of the brain fog, he has this to say—]

You leave him alone!

[He points his finger right at the guy like a true Karen. Dante typically is pretty chill but he has his moments. This just so happens to be one of those moments. Enjoy.]

He didn’t do anythin’ wrong! All he’s doing is making an honest living by getting everyone plastered.

[That’s not exactly the truth but whatever. He’s drunk.]

[strikingchords]

[what is a mob to a king? what is a king to a god?

what is a god to a woman who complains to management?

what is a Karen to the president of the HOA?

Lan Wangji regards the pointing finger for a long, glacial moment. he slowly raises his eyes to Dante's face. somewhere, b-roll of tectonic plates crashing into each other is playing in the background of this scene, emphasizing the weight and impersonal force of that look. it is a look that says that your trash cans haven't been in the designated space for at least three years. our lawyers have regrettably had to reach out to begin proper proceedings, Karen. is that what you want?]

Hm.

...

As you so demonstrate.

[why do parties have to involve so many drunks. why can't everyone just eat their food in respectful silence and go write poetry about it, like normal people. he doesn't understand.]

[demonrebel]

[Okay, why is he getting Vergil vibes from this guy? Dante can't help but glare at him for a moment, unsure what else to do now that buddy here didn't take the bait. He gives this guy a hard once over before letting out a dramatic sigh.]

What? You're really about to arrest the dude for selling some booze?

[He questions with an eye roll to boot. Sorry but drunk Dante is a nuisance. Be sure to leave your complaints with the rest of his team if they ever arrive here in Jigokucho. Until then, all complaints go to him when he's sober.]

Meh, what's a party without alcohol anyways?

[Here comes some more drunken dancing! He's trying his best to distract him while the bootlegger runs off into the night.]

[strikingchords]

[Lan Wangji raises his eyebrows a devastating fraction of an inch, probably not dispelling Dante's brother-informed impression that this man would rather hit him with a sword than a) talk to him for 10 minutes or b) do anything fun, ever, in his life.]

Arrest implies imprisonment.

[he does not contextualize this comment at all, but maybe he doesn't have to! does hell even have jail? do the different factions have their own jails? or do you just get your fingers chopped off about crime you get caught out in? we just don't know.

he turns his head deliberately away from the drunken dancing as if swiveling hips simply cannot be Perceived by him and nails the unfortunate vendor with a look. the poor guy, who was definitely vibing with Dante's strategy and attempting to take a few steps back, stops short with a little gurgling noise.

Lan Wangji says nothing and just stares at him for a moment, ignoring Dante's hip thrusts like they're air. then he gestures at the box where he spotted the crime.]

Leave it.

It has been confiscated.

[demonrebel]

[Well, according to the Shinigami folks, there's definitely some manner of punishment here in Hell. Dante isn't eager to find out what this punishment might be but he wouldn't put it past a bunch of demons to throw his randy ass in jail. The same goes for the bootlegger over there who's currently to make a run for it. Either way, Dante's distraction doesn't really pay off.

Time for Plan B!]

Aw, c'mon! You're not about to steal merchandise, are ya?

[Dante asks as he sliiiiiiides on over. Listen, Dante missed his calling for the Soul Train audition by ten or so years but he can dance his ass off.]

You just want all the alcohol for yourself, huh?

[He questions with a mischievous glint within his eyes.]

Lemme guess, under all that prim and proper bullshit---you're a real hellraiser.

[strikingchords]

[Lan Wangji reaches to take the box, which the bootlegger regrettably makes a quick decision to relinquish. as his hands close on it and the smuggler backs up and makes his break, Lan Wangji's head tilts slightly to observe Dante's sudden entrance into his personal space. his expression does not change.]

...

It is not necessary.

[there is absolutely no inflection in his voice.]

We are in hell.

[demonrebel]

That's right, bucko! We're in hell.

[Dante gleefully says before deciding to take a bottle of something out from one of the confiscated crates. It looks to be another bottle of shōchū, his dreaded nemesis for the evening. He pops the cork and takes a quick swig of it before letting out a relieved but somewhat agonized groan.]

This stuff is strong! C'mon, try it.

[He says with a bit of a frown before handing the rest to ghosty here. Only a ghost would dress in all white, right? Right.]

Might as well party while we can, right?

[strikingchords]

[Lan Wangji takes the preferred bottle and meets Dante's gaze squarely for a single, dead-eyed moment.]

...

Hm.

Very well.

[then he puts the open bottle carefully back in the crate, hoists it without much apparent effort (if he's a new Lost Soul too, he can't have much in the way of powers here, but he does apparently have biceps??), and starts walking towards...

...towards...

...straight towards the river, actually.]