[ OPEN ] trust in me

[kaientai]

Who ⬤ Sakamoto Ryouma + others!
What ⬤ Ryouma has more business meetings...
When ⬤ the end of June and throughout July
Where ⬤ his office + wherever else around the city!
Content Warnings ⬤ None at the moment! Will add if anything comes up.

pm or hmu @ koutenko to request a starter!
also open to wildcards!

Comments

[breweries]

[ so hizen was handed off to izou not because ryouma doesn't want him anymore, but because ryouma knew that his sword was better off with a guy who'd know how to use him to his fullest potential... ]

I see.

[ a knowing smile pulled at the edge of shylock's mouth. oh, hizen. the poor guy isn't aware at all, isn't he? ryouma's rambling about his bestie is rather cute too, he'll admit. ]

But as I recall, Mr. Izou had gone down a dark path, didn't he...? Not that there wasn't anything honorable about his chosen profession, no. It's a tough job, much like any other jobs available at the time.

[ IS IT, SHYLOCK, ]

[kaientai]

That's true, but it wasn't his idea.

[ ryouma takes a long drink from his glass because he's needs it. ]

When I left Tosa, I never imagined the man he was followin' would ever use him like that. If I had any idea, I woulda asked him t' come with me.

[ despite any attempts not to be obvious, his voice sounds strained when he says it. this is the call he made back then that sealed both their fates. ]

I tried helpin' him find a different job too. I asked him t' guard a very important person and he did! He saved his life! But he ended up goin' back t' that other work anyway...

[ there's really nothing for this. looking back on his own choices — these obvious mistakes in hindsight — he and wishes he could fix it all even though he knows it's impossible. ]

It wasn't his fault. I know it probably sounds real bad, me sayin' that, but the world was a bloody place back then. Izō is far more sensitive than he lets on, so I'm sure he suffered for it. I gave him that sword 'cause I believed in 'im. An' I—... well, he's my best friend. 'Course I care an' want him t' be protected...

[ ryouma's feelings were a complicated mess back then too, but he was too distracted and oblivious about such things at the time to understand that what he was feeling was love.

it was too childish and immature at the time to seem like it, but enough to guide him to decisions like handing over a prized sakamoto family heirloom that had been passed down for generations, because he wanted to give it to izō and no one else. ]

But you're right! Assassins gotta eat too. I wasn't even mad at the ones that came after me back then since they were jus' doin' their jobs.

[breweries]

[ ...okay, there's a lot to digest here. maybe shylock had made him have too much to drink here, if he's able to divulge everything just now. this man has no self-preservation at all, doesn't he? ]

The most wanted man back then, and even now. Now I wonder if fate will ever let you take a breather.

[ HAHAHAHA. haha. haaa. ]

Hizen mentioned something about that. A... friend, or so he had put it. [ so it wasn't a friend after all. at least from an outsider's perspective. ] But you have to remember, Ryouma, that some of these events are out of your control. No matter how much you wish to put a stop to it, other players in the game would want to play however they like.

[ in some cases, it is better to let things play as they are, as opposed to putting a stop to it and risking your life and other's. but it really depends on the situation itself. all in all, there isn't a perfect solution to how things would have played out -- after all, if any of those events hadn't happened, there wouldn't be a history.

it's why he smiles despite the heavy story, and how blase ryouma ended his spiel. ]

But no matter. The way I see it, you truly love them too much. That isn't a bad thing, of course.

[kaientai]

[ the drink is a contributing factor but it's more that ryouma would much rather make himself look bad if it meant clearing the air about izō. divulging those parts of the story come easy in that case. ]

Even if fate lets me have a break I won't be finished until I can create a world where everyone can be happy.

[ which at least partly explains why he's so driven to do things around here. ]

"Too much", huh? Ain't havin' too much of somethin' generally considered a bad thing no matter what it is? Too much medicine can be a poison...

[ or having feelings that do you no good when you're alone. ]

[breweries]

[ what an altruistic mindset, shylock muses. even if he'd gotten hate for it from all sides, he'd still push on anyway, albeit in a very stubborn way. a very hizen-like trait, but shylock wonders if it's just an attribute that everyone who lived in tosa possesses.

shylock doesn't mind peace, for the record. but he does thrive in utter chaos, so he'll see how ryouma's plans will come into fruition in the coming months. as the modern kids would say, popcorn dot gif. ]

Not if it's love. You can never have too much of it, and certain people would need it more than others.

[ like hizen, for instance. ]

Have you told them you loved them lately? It might be their only saving grace in this chaotic realm.

[kaientai]

[ that is all at the core of what makes ryouma's story interesting and also tragic, considering how his life as a counter guardian has been. it's a lot like chasing a dream that feels impossible to achieve sometimes. at least in hell, there's something like progress. it doesn't feel like an insurmountable challenge somehow.

he wishes he could just go on talking about that and not any of the rest, and this is where he starts letting on more than he'd like. ryouma is great at the big picture stuff and making it all work out in the end. but personal relationships? dealing with people and how they feel? it's just the opposite. ryouma drinks more because, as it's established, that's one tosan trait he definitely possesses — drink to make it hurt less. ]

Whenever I open my mouth around Hizen, it seems like I say the wrong thing. Can't imagine that's what he wants t' hear from me, considerin' what he must think'a me. And with Izō?

[ there's a pause, like he's considering how to word it. he doesn't come up with a very good solution. ]

Yeah, I said what I had t' say, I guess.

[ and every day, he sort of wishes he hadn't because it only reminds him that he's alone, but admitting as much isn't happening. at least, not right now. instead, he smiles because he will act like this doesn't affect him, as he always does. ]

Heh, I think ya better keep these comin'.