[ that is all at the core of what makes ryouma's story interesting and also tragic, considering how his life as a counter guardian has been. it's a lot like chasing a dream that feels impossible to achieve sometimes. at least in hell, there's something like progress. it doesn't feel like an insurmountable challenge somehow.

he wishes he could just go on talking about that and not any of the rest, and this is where he starts letting on more than he'd like. ryouma is great at the big picture stuff and making it all work out in the end. but personal relationships? dealing with people and how they feel? it's just the opposite. ryouma drinks more because, as it's established, that's one tosan trait he definitely possesses — drink to make it hurt less. ]

Whenever I open my mouth around Hizen, it seems like I say the wrong thing. Can't imagine that's what he wants t' hear from me, considerin' what he must think'a me. And with Izō?

[ there's a pause, like he's considering how to word it. he doesn't come up with a very good solution. ]

Yeah, I said what I had t' say, I guess.

[ and every day, he sort of wishes he hadn't because it only reminds him that he's alone, but admitting as much isn't happening. at least, not right now. instead, he smiles because he will act like this doesn't affect him, as he always does. ]

Heh, I think ya better keep these comin'.