[ He finishes breaking open and disecting the first crab, extracting all of it's tender meat and even taking out a black light to remove any shell fragments or such were mixed in before getting another crab to do the same. ]

Do I look remotely tense to you? I create wonder dishes out of ordinary ingredients that even the most talented of chefs would envy. In fact, if animals could speak to me from the great beyond, they'd thank me for turning their bodies into such great things. What I make is art, and that art sustains me.

[ Crack goes the crab and the smell wafts through the air. ]

And it's exciting and different everytime. Sex tends to get old after a while.

[ He dares say that. ]