[ If his existential crisis about his humanity wasn't enough, now a fresh one has been dropped in his lap. A dead man shouldn't have to care about this. This trauma should've been dead along with him. The life of a Servant is a cruel one -- he was important enough that his spirit went to the Throne of Heroes so he could be summoned by a Master and given a (generally short) second life, with the same pain and hurt he carried with him to the grave.

So there he sits, trying not to embarrass himself further. Majima and Emily care about him for who he is, not what he can provide them. He only just learned to accept that their care is not transactional. It makes him want to be better, to do better. Maybe he can finally learn to give a shit about himself, even if he can't find any worth in himself beyond his skills with a sword.

He wipes his face again before he looks up at Nishitani properly. His silence about Izō's obvious trauma is more appreciated than he will ever know. ]

...Yeah. I know. This is th' closest I been t' happy in a long time an' I ain't gonna fuck it up again. They don't deserve it.

[ He fishes around in his pocket for something. His pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He drops them both in Nishitani's lap before standing up. ]

If Emily asks, ya don't know where those came from.