jigokulogs | [open] a smoke and mirrors game

Who ⬤ Majima

meowjima & Open
What ⬤ March 2022 Substories
When ⬤ March
Where ⬤ Around
Content Warnings ⬤ Can add as needed

Notes: Majima is a snake man from Slumscape! Covered in a sheen of white scales, snake eyes, split tongue, tail, fangs.

Doms Wanted!

[ Majima is out on the street with a night queen, also with a hand of exasperation dragging down his face, ]

Fuck's sake. It ain't that hard, lady. Just tell him he's disgustin'.

[ He shoots a contemptuous sideways look at the sniffling pig yokai at her feet. Who pipes up helpfully, ]

Hey, he's pretty good at this, maybe I should ask for him.

[ Majima bristles like a cat. Bursting out noisily, ]

Shut it, you!

[ Hrr. He turns is attention back to the girl once again trying to explain how to just be fucking scornful. She keeps closing her eyes and meekly repeating after him, shaking her nine tail whip punily.

Majima has both hands on his face, head tilted back, before long. ]

High Definition

[ Oh... Majima knows better than this one. His lip curls incredulously when he's asked to participate ]

No thanks.

[ He points at whoever is nearby too, ]

Y'all shouldn't either.

[ But he's not hanging around to babysit anyone. What is he, your mother? He carries on his way, slouched with his hands in his pocket. But of course nobody listens to him, it can't be so bad, right?

He pauses later in the night, a cigarette drooping from his lip as he watches some truly bizarre behavior. ]

All right there?

[ His tone conveys that he really doesn't want to be bothered with this, but here he is and he's a little too soft to just walk away. ]

Look at this sweet jacket

[ Majima listens to this story about the jacket. Tilt to the side the take a look at the back of it. It doesn't seem that damn cool, or that damn inflammatory, but he has definitely seen guys throw down over someone's jacket in Sotenbori before... ]

Yeah, all right, I'll help ya cross the bridge...

[ A sigh. He rolls up his shirt sleeves in preparation for a fight. Maybe someone with a little more attention to detail will notice that all is not at it seems and come enlighten him to the plight of Hasihime. Otherwise Majima's taking this at face value and muscling his way through this. ]

Welcome to the Night Parade

[ Majima doesn't trust... anyone in this town, really. A place like this, you need to take just about everyone with a grain of salt. So he sneaks a little closer to what the Kappa are doing. He's not so sure he likes what he sees: Lots of extremely carefully covered cases are being quickly taken further into the city's underground, suspiciously more than one might need to simply be building some parade floats or decorations.

He comes back from the sewers chewing on a cigarette. He takes out his phone and gets on the network then, ]

We got anybody real stealthy wanna come take a look at somethin' with me? Make it worth your while.

[ He did get that advance from the Enma, he can turn it over for this. ]

[[ooc: Here is the current info on the Kappa mission. Once I know about your skillset, we can put that to the mods and move forwrd. ]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Shouldn't I?

[Dazai puts effort into sounding extremely surprised, like he can't possibly imagine why he shouldn't be participating in testing some dodgy drugs. If he's planning anything at all, it's to see if he can't swipe the drugs without taking them himself on site - no reason; just to see if he can. That said, he does figure he has little to lose by trying the drugs. He has no position worth mentioning, here: nobody stands to gain anything by compromising him. It might be a fun distraction?]

[ Majima gives him a look. ]

Ya don't know what that shit's gonna do t'ya. Did one'a these once an' almost went blind.

[ Come on, he already has just the one eye, why did it have to be like that? ]

Blind, no less! I'm fairly sure that's not the kind of attack on the senses that people normally seek.

[Might be worth stealing if he can, though? You never know when blinding someone could be convenient!

Then again, there are easier ways to achieve that than using drugs, probably. Dazai sighs as if disappointed.]

All right, you've convinced me already. But out of curiosity, did the blindness just go away?

Did eventually, but that ain't shit ya should be playin' around with.

[ He's not humoring these questions all that patiently. Isn't this pretty cut and dry? Don't take weird shit that might turn you blind? ]

Go talk to a dealer or somethin', sheesh.

[It might be someone's kink??? Don't judge, Goro-Goro!

But it's not Dazai's kink, so: meh.]

Can dealers here really be trusted, though? [Not that Dazai is planning to pay them a visit regardless, but it's worth pointing out the obvious.] If whatever they're selling works on youkai, it might not work on humanoids the same way, if at all.

[He smiles, his voice very calm.] Or it could kill them outright, of course.

If ya don't know what good shabu looks like, I ain't available for lessons.

[ Is that why this brat is still here? Figures the obvious yakuza knows? Majima doesn't know what is going on here exactly, he has just ascertained it is annoying. ]

["Annoying" is a fair assessment of Dazai at the best of times. Unfortunately, Dazai doesn't care.]

I know what most good things look like.

[And he says that very seriously, for once. Dazai may not look like a stereotypical yakuza, but that doesn't mean anyone should take his expertise lightly. The problem is not that, but, as he's pointed out, the youkai-human divide (and he's half tempted to experiment with that, but that's beyond the point).]

Are you sure someone who accidentally turned blind for a bit by swallowing the wrong thing is qualified to teach?

Those creepy researcher's gave it to me and I wanted t'get paid.

[ Wait that's not the point. ]

An' I ain't qualified t'teach shit.

[ Except he can fight, except he grew up on the streets, except he ran two very successful cabaret clubs helping to train and mentor every member of the staff, except he knows accounting and wine and seafood. Whatever you say, Majima. ]

[It's fine, crime bro. Teaching is a hassle, and Dazai by no means judges you for politely declining it, no matter what the circumstances.]

Money certainly is a good motivator.

[There's amusement in Dazai's voice for some reason. (Probably just the obligatory annoyance, really.)]

There was no chance to fake taking it, and pocket the money?

Not really, th'researcher was standin' right there. Then they'd have me fight some guys t'see how it was affectin' me.

[ It's just not an experience he recommends, trying fight off a couple dudes while you're going blind, while some creepy researcher notes it down on his clipboard. ]

An' was it got annoyin' I wasn't gonna just leave without gettin' paid.

Oh? That is an oddly specific test of your abilities under the influence.

[Just what kind of drug test is this, really? Dazai is getting more questions than answers.

Buuuut either way it's not really any of his concern, probably. What can he do?]

I certainly have no intention of letting myself be used as a punching bag.

[ He spreads his hands in an exasperated shrug. ]

Don't ask me what they were thinkin'. I'm just tellin' ya. Don't know what th'shit's gonna do, dunno know what it's gonna be like when ya go report yer symptoms to 'em.

Less stupid ways t'earn some cash, unless yer fuckin' desperate.

Curious, would be a better word for it.

[For what he's feeling. Is it really enough, though?

Hell no. To coin a phrase.]

But not nearly desperate enough. I'll leave the experimenting to intrepid explorers like yourself.

[ He shakes his head in exasperation, digging through his jacket pockets for his cigarettes. ]

That's what I said.

[ Don't argue with your elders next time, I guess?!?! ]

[Dazai will argue with any and all elders who are less intelligent than him!! Which is, like... all but two of them. But, you know...

He's a gracious ~~loser~~ winner, though, so he'll present a lit lighter to Majima, because Dazai is just that nice a guy.

Or he just wants to show off.

Or he stole the lighter off someone (hopefully not Majima) so he's showing off a different way...]

Ya don't look like a smoker.

[ But whatever, just let him light his cigarette so he can move on with his life.... ]

Oh~? Then what do I look like?

[No answer required, of course. If Majima would rather get on with his life, then he absolutely should! Rather him than Dazai, to be honest.]

A brat, mostly.

[ Savage. ]

Whaaat, I can't be much younger than you in snake years.

[Doubtful on many, many levels - but when does that ever stop him?]

Sometimes it ain't about age.

[ And all about attitude. He waves his hand disturbing the smoke from his cigarette. ]

We done here, kid?

[Not about age, huh? Listen, it's not Dazai's fault if he's the cool murder uncle!]

Certainly! Don't let me keep you.

And thank you for the wise lessons, Patchy-sensei.

[ He makes a face at this annoying nickname but chooses not to make a correction. He just waves an exasperated goodbye and starts walking. ]

Peace.

[open] a smoke and mirrors game

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